This is a newly discovered species of Yeti (NOT Batman ) crab. It’s similar to the other hairy-armed Yeti crabs except this one grows edible bacteria on its arms by methodically waving them around in front of deep sea methane vents. And speaking of deep sea methane vents: blue whales . You don’t want to be sitting in a dinghy when one of those fart bubbles surfaces! Hit the jump for two short videos, one of the hairy arm waving, one of chow-time.

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New Yeti Crab Farms Bacteria On Its Arms To Eat

Fine, SO MAYBE I LIED. Still, I had to find a way to ensure you’d all look at the picture because it brings up several important questions I want to discuss with you. 1. Does the guy that this dude calls dad know his wife banged a wild bear behind his back and 2. WHY THE F*** WERE BROBRO’S NIPS SEWN ON AT SUCH DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT HEIGHTS?! *performing sign of the cross* The Lord works in mysterious ways. Transforming Chest Hair [buzzfeed] Thanks to d-fizz, who tried shaving the Cobra Command serpent into his chest, screwed it up, decided to try again with his pubes, and wound up nicking one of his balls. Ouch.

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Now You’re Talking!: Sexy Transformer Tattoo

Need a shaving razor that can fit in your wallet? No, you don’t. Not unless you want to threaten to cut your server when they bring the bill with the hopes of scoring a free sundae. *eyes belly shaking head* The blades come off and are stowed on the backside of the mirror when not in use, so you don’t accidentally cut yourself. And it comes with a set of ’scent strips’ you can adhere just below the blades, like sandal, ocean or lemon, to freshen you up while you shave. It doesn’t seem to address the whole issue of shaving cream, but I guess in a real emergency that would be more of a luxury than a necessity. $17 from Infmetry. Listen: if you don’t have the time to shave at home before a job interview, you’ve probably already slept through it . Just go back to bed for the day and check the classifieds againt tomorrow. I mean, we’ve functioned for solong without wallet-razors, why do we need them now? “I dunno — for the mole on my neck that grows a 5 o’clock shadow by 10AM?” *dry heaving* LOLWUT?! Product Site via Carzor - An Emergency Credit Card Sized Razor & Mirror [ohgizmo] Thanks to bluebeard, who’s apparently one of those alternative pirate captains that likes to dye their beards different colors every month. I like it when it was auburn.

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Shave On The Go: Carzor Razor Fits In Wallet

Needs more loogie moat. Castles: they’re cool and I want to live in one. Hair castles: not cool, I don’t want to live in one, and I think I just spit up a little. But did that stop Agustina Woodgate from creating this 4-foot, 3,000-brick hair castle? Unfortunately, no. *twirling mustache* Woodgate’s “I Wanted To Be A Princess” series used clumps of hair to create 3,000 bricks, which are stacked to form two Medieval castle sculptures. Debuting at Miami’s Spinello Gallery, one piece, called Tower, stands around four and a half feet tall. Made of tightly bound hair bricks, the piece looks like clay at first glance, with varying shades of brown and grays stacked perfectly together. Blonde hair donors provided the bricking for the windows, and the senior set contributed a band of white hair for the tower’s top. I’m not ashamed to admit I eat hair. Usually if I’m swooping my special little ladyfriend’s hair out of her eyes and I find a loose one I’ll put it on my tongue to gross her out out until she pries my mouth open to make me stop. “Holy f*** GW, that sounds creepy as shit.” I’m a catch! Hit the jump for another, much more natural looking hair castle by the same artist.

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You Nasty, Rapunzel!: A Castle Made Of Hair

Excuse me if I’m writing this while I puke in my shoes but I mean, c’mon, a guy can only take so much . Chick looks like she’s wearing my shower drain around her neck. The human hair necklace…is made by artist Kerry Howley who wants to “make discarded hair attractive again.” NEWS FLASH, KERRY HOWLEY: I don’t know what 17th century castle dungeon you just crawled out of but discarded hair was never attractive in the first place. “Fingernail clippings?” Go — just go. Hit the jump for three others in case this one wasn’t disgusting enough for you.

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Waaaaaay Too Pubey For Me: Hair Necklaces

Because there’s LITERALLY F***ING ZERO Star Wars merchandise George Lucas won’t license if you line his pockets enough, here’s a hairdryer styled after Darth Vader’s iconic mask. It’s perfect for the person that’s been hoping to add a little Star Wars flair to their bathroom, but is afraid a C-3PO electric toothbrush will just make them look desperate (and it will). Plus your girlfriend’s gonna loooooooove this thing. “This is a hair dryer , I asked for a hair straightener . Does this look like a CHI to you?” “But baby — it’s the Vade. ” “I guess you didn’t want to see me in those Leia hairbuns after all.” They sell CHI’s at that mall kiosk, right? If I park in a fountain I can be back in 20. Hit the jump in case you simply can’t live the rest of your life without seeing the back of a conceptual Darth Vader hairdryer.

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But He Was Bald: A Darth Vader Hairdryer

Suck it, Flowbee! Get it? Cause that shit requires a vacuum! This is an automatic head- shaving helmet invented by some guy named Boris, who doesn’t run around with Nastasha but will swerve to hit a squirrel when driving (you’re sick!). Somehow, this helmet uses four razors and a shaving cream irrigation system of sorts to shave a head bald in just 20 seconds — without nightmarish results. As the thoroughly bald man explains and later demonstrates on a slightly less bald man, this seemingly lethal device is actually pretty efficient. Right, but what happens when you strap it on, hit ‘GO’, and then your roommate starts beating you in the head with a broomstick? YOU GET F***ING SCALPED, THAT’S WHAT! And not like nosebleed football tickets either, I’m talking like your skull showing. Just sayin’, Ghost Rider don’t take kindly to peeps coppin’ his style. Hit the jump for a video of the (admittedly impressive) system in action.

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My Dome!: Automatic Head-Shaving Helmet

Well at least they’re claiming it’s a human hair, but it looks more like cat fur if you ask me. Just kidding, totally a pube. Created by the nerds — excuse me, experts — at the University of Nottingham’s Nanotechnology and Nanoscience Centre, the hair was etched using focused ion beams. How tiny is it? So tiny that it could be copied onto a post-it note well over a million times with room to spare. Don’t get me wrong, that’s impressive and all, but who needs the periodic table printed on their hair? I mean fingernail sure, that’s just being practical. Hit the jump for some nutty batshit-crazy professor getting all exited about the periodic pube because they made it for his birthday.

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The Periodic Table Printed On A Human Hair

NOTE: Full-res picture HERE in case you’re into cancerous moles and back hair. Remember Avatar tattoo guy? First it was the left shoulder , then the right , and now a full-body Neytiri next to his spine. Based on the quality, I’m gonna assume he got this one in the slammer. Which, fun fact: is where I met my first boyfriend. Picture Thanks to Steve, who has a pterodactyl tat across his back that flaps its wings when he does the funky chicken, making it cool and not so cool at the same time.

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It’s Addicting!: Avatar Tattoo Guy Is Back At It

This is a picture of two people with the images of their profiles reversed. It’s a terrible misuse of Photoshop and I don’t like it. Not one bit. I don’t care if the chick has tits on her back, she’s giving me nightmares. And, if I play my cards right, a hug. Reversed Profiles Are the Next Photoshop Weirdness [gizmodo]

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Cousin It, Is That You?: Reverse Profiles