Sorry for the lack of posting, folks — this week is already turning into a giant shitfest. So please, bear with me. “GRAWR!” Haha, that was great — now pretend you’re swiping at a beehive! Geekologie Reader Joe’s friend Leah is a dog groomer and decided to shave the Rebel Alliance logo into her dog . This is it. No word what kind of dog that is, but my guess is an unhappy one. Kidding! You KNOW all the other dogs in the neighborhood are jealous. They’d probably pass up on a treat just to smell its ass! Picture Thanks to Joe, who agrees it would take a lightsaber to groom you and I. Get it? Because we’re still playing bear!

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Use The Clippers, Luke: Rebel Alliance Shaved Dog

This is the music video for Hey Geronimo’s ‘Why Don’t We Do Something?’ (I dunno, maybe because we’re really f***ing high and the couch is comfortable!), featuring a bunch of iPhone games recreated in real life . It’s worth checking out. The games: Flight Control, Fruit Ninja, Plants Vs. Zombies, Angry Birds and Cut the Rope. Don’t worry though, the song’s okay, but it’s not the kind that’s gonna get stuck in your head for the rest of the day like Chocolate Rain or the TROLOLOLOL song. HAHA — have fun with those two, jerks! Hit the jump for the music bideo (bideo is the new video but I don’t know why it’s not catching on).

Link:
Popular iPhone Games Recreated IRL For Music Video

This is a screenshot of the totally dope-looking stickman I drew at drawastickman.com. You just go to the site, draw a stickman, then they animate him (F***ING TERRIBLY) and tell you to draw other things (i.e. a key, sword) to help him solve puzzles. Truthfully, I’m making it sound a lot cooler than it really is. BY FAR. But after the key part I learned it was actually kind of fun if you only draw penises no matter what they ask for. Then — then it got good. My peener hatched a dragon and I had to fight it with a wiener-sword! Drawastickman.com (I hate myself, I really do) Thanks to Kid Gorgeous, who is like, really damn good looking for a kid (no pedo).

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Draw Your Own Browser Stickman Animation

I heard you like changing things , George. This Looks Shopped of the Day [thedailywh.at] Thanks to Miranda, who agrees that chin is the shit nightmares are made out of.

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George Lucas Gets A Taste Of Own Medicine

Fine, SO MAYBE I LIED. Still, I had to find a way to ensure you’d all look at the picture because it brings up several important questions I want to discuss with you. 1. Does the guy that this dude calls dad know his wife banged a wild bear behind his back and 2. WHY THE F*** WERE BROBRO’S NIPS SEWN ON AT SUCH DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT HEIGHTS?! *performing sign of the cross* The Lord works in mysterious ways. Transforming Chest Hair [buzzfeed] Thanks to d-fizz, who tried shaving the Cobra Command serpent into his chest, screwed it up, decided to try again with his pubes, and wound up nicking one of his balls. Ouch.

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Now You’re Talking!: Sexy Transformer Tattoo

This is a video of channel 5 meteorologist Stormy McDipshit reporting on Hurricane Irene covered in “sea foam”, which, according to some reports, was at least partially raw sewage from nearby leaks. Per Pukey Suddenlyill himself: Excuse me, it’s HA — it’s in my face as well. As you can imagine, it uh, it doesn’t taste great. I’ve been told by my station, I don’t know what it is, but uh, it has sort of a sandy consistency to it…I can tell you first hand it doesn’t smell great. That’s just nasty. There’s a lot of things I would do for money, but standing in shitfoam isn’t one of them. I’m kidding, of course I would — the price would just have to be right. Do I hear $20? For another $10 I’ll use some to give myself a Colonel Sanders beard and mustache. Hit the jump for the nasty.

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Reporter Reports Hurricane (Come On) Irene Covered In Sea Foam/Raw Sewage

This is a brief clip from the Fox 5 San Diego morning news (the same studio from this April Fools’ prank ) of a guy opening the show with one of those water-powered jetpacks . Unfortunately, he opted to not take the training course prior to operation and ends up crashing into the dock. Theeeeeeeen the entire news studio laughs at him. Needless to say, Captain Woopsie Daisy won’t be getting his water wings pin anytime soon. Hit the jump for the woopsie-daisy in action. Also, Kevin Jonas : when we get our hands on one of these things, you get to go first.

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HAHA!: Water Jetpack Morning News Fail

SPOILER ALERT: Last six minutes of Smallville . Ever wanted to hear a guy go completely f***ing nuts watching the series finale of Smallville ? Even if you don’t know it yet, you do. This is the kind of shit I live for (plus nipples and beer). Dude’s like the double rainbow guy on triple the LSD WTF with an unhealthy mix of female hormone injections and boner pills on the side. I’m pretty sure he “completes”. It may be fake, it may be real, but it is definitely a reminder of just how little I feel inside. It’s true folks, I’m like a shell. A SHELL HOUSING ONE BADASS NINJA TURTLE. *karate kick!* Hit the jump for six minutes of damn bro, calm down before you hurt yourself!

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Damn Bro!: ‘Smallville’ Finale Freakout Video

Wrong: that’s exactly how you’re doing it. This is a video of a guy at a trade-show or something jamming his finger in some machine before finding out what it actually is. Which — SPOILER! : is an automatic masturbation / collection machine for sperm-banks. I don’t know about you, but if I were dude I’d be praying to the goddess of fertility right now it was just a floor model and not a return. Hit the jump for a short video of the ’should’ve wrapped it up’ in action.

Link:
Sticking Your Finger In Things You Shouldn’t

Looks like we’re in good company — high-five, Liberia and Myanmar! We’re miles ahead of all those other countries , amirite?! No? Kilometers behind? SONOFA. *takes 3/4″ socket off penis and chucks over cubicle wall like a grenade* “OW!! WHO THREW THIS?” Quick — look everybody, Eric’s wearing my wiener socket on his finger like a Bugle! These Are the Three Countries Who Don’t Use the Metric System [gizmodo] Thanks to Jeff, who measures everything in relation to his own body parts. What are you, five?! How tall am I in penises?

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Countries That Don’t Use The Metric System