You ever wanted to eat an entire human-sized brain made out of bubble-gum flavored gummi ? God, you must spend a small fortune at the movie snackbar. But now your sickening dream can become reality my soon-to-be diabetic friend, all thanks to Firebox’s (NOT Fire fox’s ) 7-pound, $32 Giant Gummi Brain. That is like *doing math* 7-pounds too many. Know what I’m sayin’? I’m saying one time I mushed four packs of Sour Patch Kid Watermelons into a big ball and washed it down with a Hi-C the size of a kiddy pool. Best movie experience ever? I think so! (I got such an uncontrollable sugar high I tore an entire row of seats out of the ground) Product Site via Full-Size Gummy Human Brain Will Turn You Into a Sugar Zombie [gizmodo] Thanks to Daisy, who brought a human-sized brain made out of Pop-Rocks to a party once and seven people died.

Read more:
I’m Puking Already: Live-Size Gummi Brain

This is a tubful of creepy-ass sea lampreys at Michigan State acting as test subjects for a new lamprey repellent the university is developing made of the rotting carcasses of other sea lampreys . Because smelling your own dead — that shit’ll get to you. Also: Cupid’s arrow. *twang* Well that was just a regular arrow , but you obviously got the point because you’re bleeding pretty bad. Point , LOLOL. Lampreys are parasites that look like slimy eels with mouths that are ringed with several layers of jagged teeth [designed to attach to and feed from a host]. In some areas, like the Great Lakes of the United States, they’ve become an invasive pest that kills local trout and other valuable fish. Damn them things is nasty. You think Indiana Jones would hate them more or less than snakes? My guess is more — what’s your guess? “I dunno, but rumor has it Ursula from ‘The Little Mermaid’ has a crush on Lord Lamprey!” Really? I heard she was banging King Crab. Dude likes his sea-witches thick. Hit the jump for two videos (one above water, one below) and a picture of a lamprey mouth because terrified is a good look on you.

Read more here:
Tubful Of Lampreys Go Buck Wild After Being Exposed To Smell Of Their Own Rotting Dead

This is a video of several mosquitoes going to town (sucking blood, NOT boning) on some dude’s arm. Why you’d allow that sort of behavior is beyond me, but I suspect it has something to do with dude hoping one of them is radioactive so he can be become Mosquito Man and supervillain his ass into a bank vault. If you’re squeamish, I don’t really recommend watching it. I can honestly say I’ve never needed to watch mosquitoes sucking in high definition until their abdomens are all bloated and red with freshly-sucked blood. Now that I think about, I don’t need to see that in low definition. Shit, or scrambled like a porn channel you don’t pay for! The point is, I regret watching it. You can’t get malaria just from watching mosquitoes, right? “Can you get pregnant just from watching porn?” Good point, I should get tested. Hit the jump and start feeling like phantom bugs are crawling around all over you.

View post:
GAAAAAAH!: Mosquitoes Sucking Blood In HD

Needs more loogie moat. Castles: they’re cool and I want to live in one. Hair castles: not cool, I don’t want to live in one, and I think I just spit up a little. But did that stop Agustina Woodgate from creating this 4-foot, 3,000-brick hair castle? Unfortunately, no. *twirling mustache* Woodgate’s “I Wanted To Be A Princess” series used clumps of hair to create 3,000 bricks, which are stacked to form two Medieval castle sculptures. Debuting at Miami’s Spinello Gallery, one piece, called Tower, stands around four and a half feet tall. Made of tightly bound hair bricks, the piece looks like clay at first glance, with varying shades of brown and grays stacked perfectly together. Blonde hair donors provided the bricking for the windows, and the senior set contributed a band of white hair for the tower’s top. I’m not ashamed to admit I eat hair. Usually if I’m swooping my special little ladyfriend’s hair out of her eyes and I find a loose one I’ll put it on my tongue to gross her out out until she pries my mouth open to make me stop. “Holy f*** GW, that sounds creepy as shit.” I’m a catch! Hit the jump for another, much more natural looking hair castle by the same artist.

Follow this link:
You Nasty, Rapunzel!: A Castle Made Of Hair

Excuse me if I’m writing this while I puke in my shoes but I mean, c’mon, a guy can only take so much . Chick looks like she’s wearing my shower drain around her neck. The human hair necklace…is made by artist Kerry Howley who wants to “make discarded hair attractive again.” NEWS FLASH, KERRY HOWLEY: I don’t know what 17th century castle dungeon you just crawled out of but discarded hair was never attractive in the first place. “Fingernail clippings?” Go — just go. Hit the jump for three others in case this one wasn’t disgusting enough for you.

See the original post here:
Waaaaaay Too Pubey For Me: Hair Necklaces

I’d never heard the term “human ivory” before, and I’m gonna be honest, I’m kind of wishing I still hadn’t. In case you couldn’t tell from the picture, it’s human finger and toenail clippings . Now if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna go puke, wash my face and get myself together again, and then puke some more. Kidding, I think this is great. I even bite off and chew my own nails sometimes. “Uh, GW — have you ever used a microscope to actually see what’s under your fingernails before?” Yes — dead penis cells. Hit the jump for a couple more examples and a link to Rachel’s (the maker’s) Etsy store.

Visit link:
‘Human Ivory’ & Belly Button Lint Art/Jewelry

Listen: I love puking in my mouth, having it spill out into the hand covering my mouth, then into the other hand at my chin, and ultimately onto the bedroom carpet and bathroom floor as much as the next normal person. That is to say, a lot. But I don’t need any bacon-flavored effervescent tablets to do the trick. Do I, booze ? That’s right — only you. God I love ya. So agreeable. If you drop one of these magic tablets into a glass of water it will instantly begin to dissolve, creating a cascade of bubbles that will infuse the water with a delicious bacon flavor. But don’t limit yourself to water. These Effervescent Drink Tablets work just as well in milk, juice or soda. Great for making bizarre beverages or slipping into a friend’s drink when they’re not looking. Each 2-1/4″ (5.7 cm) round tin contains about fifteen tablets. $3.50 scores a tin, which might actually be worth it considering you could secretly replace one of your wife’s Alka-Seltzers as a joke. Yes, now that I think about it, I want you to do that and report back to let me know how it went. Well? Whoa whoa whoa — hospital?! WTF’S THE MATTER WITH YOU, YOU DIDN’T TELL ME SHE WAS PREGNANT!! Which — weird she didn’t like it. Product Site Thanks to Matt and Joe B, who both put entire tins in a gallon of whole milk and chugged it. You, sirs, are gods among disgusting eating contest contestants.

Original post:
Diiiiiiiiiiisgusting: Bacon-Flavored Fizzy Tablets

This pulsating ‘umbilical’ iPhone charger was designed by Mio I-zawa as an experiment in just how disgusting a person can make a cell phone charger . Nice try, Mio, but a REAL disgusting charger would ooze pus and smell like an orc’s o-ring (they wipe with dead animals). Oh I’m sorry — were you eating ? Kidding, I’m not really sorry. Besides, boogers don’t count anyway. “But I have a salt-tooth!” God you’re f***ing disgusting. Hit the jump to see a short video of the charger doing it’s thing. Then, hit the person next to you to see if they’ll fight back. If they don’t, demand their wallet. If they do, good luck, my money’s on them. Hit it for the WTFery.

Follow this link:
Stuff It Back In!: ‘Umbilical’ Cell Phone Charger

John Matthews is a man. A man who used to have a little worm eating its way around his eyeball before a doctor PEW PEW PEWed that little SOB with a laser . Lasers: what CAN’T they do? That was a trick question, lasers can do everything. John Matthews loves to hunt turkeys and travel to foreign places like Mexico. During one of those adventures, something crawled inside his body. When two dark spots appeared in his vision and his eyesight became a little hazy, he headed to the doctor. Soon after making the diagnosis, Dr. Folk armed himself with a laser and put the worm in the cross-hairs. John was awake the whole time and said he was thinking, “Hurry up and kill the thing. Good luck shootin’, doc…I saw something wiggling and I asked if the worm was wiggling. The doc said, ‘Yes.’ I said, ‘I can see it.’” Dr. Folk said, “When you hit it with the laser, it got very upset. As upset as a worm can get, I suppose…The thing was just thrashing around violently. It would be like one of those titan movies or something.” The worm is dead. It will decompose over time. Now, John must do computer exercises to strengthen his eye. His vision has improved, but may never return to normal. My God that’s disgusting. As a matter of fact, I’m *this* close to popping both my eyes out with the spoon I just used for yogurt so I don’t ever have to experience that. Seriously, what could possibly be worse than a worm eating your eyeball? Having square eyeballs? F*** that sounds painful. Worm eats Cedar Rapids man’s retina [thegazette] Thanks to FDSY, who’s from Cedar Rapids and is convinced at least half the populace has worms in their brains. I’ve never been there but I believe it.

View original post here:
Don’t Read Before Lunch: Man Finds Worm In Eyeball, Doctor Blasts It To Death With Laser

You know what the problem with sandwiches is? They’re too hard to transport. What they need to do is invent specially-sized bags to tote them around in. Oh they’ve got those? WHERE THE F*** HAVE I BEEN?! Anyway, if you’re too lazy to make a sandwich or worry your canned Coke will flatten it in your Alf lunchbox, there’s Candwiches. Canwiches are canned sandwiches (NOT CHEESEBURGERS ) and come in PB&Strawberry J, PB&Grape J, and Barbecued Chicken flavors. I’m gonna get one of each and mush them all together! Then vomit! In related news, a major financier is being sued for fraud after collecting moneys to invest in commercial real-estate loans, only to turn around and invest in Canwiches instead. Can you blame him? These things are gonna explode on the market! Possibly from botulism. In all, Travis L. Wright raised $145 million from 175 investors between 2001 and 2009, according to the suit. He only invested $6 million in the kinds of things he said he would be investing in, the SEC says. Wright also spent $15 million of investors’ money for his own expenses, according to the lawsuit. Among other things, he bought a house formerly owned by an unnamed pro basketball player. And he paved his driveway using cobblestones imported from France. Oh man, wait till those investors get their hands on him. They’re gonna open a Candwich of whoop-ass on that bastard. Possibly even a six-pack. You hear me, Travis? You gonna be eating Candwiches through a straw! Product Site and Sandwich-In-A-Can Financier Sued For Fraud [npr] Thanks to Mike, who’s trying to convince me to invest in his canned mashed potato business. Hmmm, I dunno.

See the original post here:
OM NOM NOM!: Candwich Canned Sanwiches