Smooth move Cyclops, now the building’s on fire. Because what good is science if we can’t all shoot lasers out of our eyeballs and take staring contests to a whole new level , researchers have successfully spliced jellyfish DNA into human cells, allowing them to produce biological lasers. It’s gonna be like a giant game of Asteroids happening inside you! All it takes to make a laser is something that lights up, plus a structure that can amplify and focus that light into a coherent beam. In the case of these biolasers, human kidney cells have been genetically enhanced to produce the proteins that make jellyfish glow. These glowing cells were stuck between two tiny mirrors barely bigger than the cell itself, and when the cell was energized with blue light through a microscope, it fired out a bright green directional laser beam that was visible to the naked eye, just like a little laser pointer. BOOSH, laser pointer eyes. I have no concept what purpose they’d serve besides looking cool, but isn’t that the most important purpose anyway? It is. *trying to find straw my with tongue without looking* Scientists combine humans with jellyfish to create living lasers [dvice] Thanks to Eli, who’s worried Cyclops might not feel so special anymore.

Follow this link:
Humans + Jellyfish DNA = Laser Vision?

In other loosely related ‘things with wheels’ news, here’s a model of a bicycle made entirely out of LEGO bricks that was spotted by LEGOmaniac (and Flickr user) Brickapolis on display at North Carolina’s Brickmagic modular plastic block festival. As you can see, it completely defies the laws of physics. Nice try guys, but I know a bunch of LEGO blocks glued to a real bike when I see one! Also, looks like the back tire’s valve cap fell off. You might wanna pick that up before I decide to put it in my mouth. Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the impressiveness.

Link:
Bicycle Made Entirely Out Of LEGO Bricks

The Ab-hancer is an (fl)ab-enhancing product from the same a-holes who brought us the Ass-istant and Tricep-tional fat-shapers (I’m grasping at straws here folks. Literally — I’m drunk and there’s like five of them in this giant green cocktail). I’m not even sure this is a real product . I should rephrase that. I’m hoping it’s not even a real product. And not just because if you’re really fat you’re gonna wind up with a sideways 12-pack, but that’s just poor design. Just like the Ass-istant. What good is a product that’s supposed to lift and separate my butt-cheeks if if every time I fart it sounds like an air-raid siren going off? Exaaaaactly — one that’s only fun at parties. HAPPY SAINT PATRICK’S DAY, I’M OUT! The AB Hancer [buzzfeed]

Continued here:
For That ‘Chiseled From Granite Play-Doh’ Look: The Ab-Hancer Abdominal Enhancer

You know what the biggest problem with nightvision cameras is? They make your sex tape look like shit. If I wanted to see two green, googly-eyed aliens having sex I’d buy a telescope and point it at the moon ( oh they’re there) . Enter the COLOR nightvision camera — heralding a new age in nightvision sex videos. Please note: 20-minute shots of your b-hole still not cool. GET A TRIPOD, CECIL B. DePERVERT! The Nanosystem Research Division of AIST (National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology Japan), recently showed off a new camera that…makes use of highly sensitive infrared technology that allows it to capture real-time color video in darkness. Using advanced algorithms to analyze reflected wavelengths from objects of different colors, the camera is able to fill the images with colors instead of the usual monochrome green color we’ve come to expect from night vision cameras. The camera is still in development stage yet, but there are plans to turn it into a commercial device for sale to the public by the end of 2011… God, just imagine if this technology had existed back in ‘04 when Paris Hilton filmed her sextape. It would STILL be entirely unwatchable! Which brings me to my point: it’s all about angles and positions, folks. Trust me, I studied sex film in college (read: pretended I was asleep and taped my roommate masturbating). Video explanation of the technology after the jump if you’re interested.

Read the original here:
Finally, A Color Nightvision Video Camera

Sure I’m three days late on making this a 4.20 post but you know what they say: stoners can’t be — hey let me have a bite of that sandwich. Where was I? Right, a Yoda bong . Are you gonna finish that soda ? It’s just my mouth feels so dry — like I just ate a handful of sand. YOU’RE THE ONE THAT TOLD ME IT WAS POP ROCKS @$$HOLE! Oh my God I’m talking in symbols. Is my heart supposed to feel like this? It feels like it’s gonna explode. Listen, I want you to call me an amberlamps. You: Dammit GW, you’re such an amberlamps. Me: Jesus you actually want me do die, don’t you? Hey you didn’t tell me you got fries. Order me a milkshake. Pink, pink, I want pink. No, chocolate. Wait — ask if they’ll swirl them. Yoda Bong Is Awesome [hailmaryjane] Thanks to reado, who had a Death Star bong until those rebel scum broke it.

Read more:
Smokin’ That Dagobah Dank: A Yoda Bong

For those of you not familiar with the WWF, it’s all fake. It’s basically two musclebound douchebags dancing around in choreographed homoeroticdom. Don’t get me wrong, I still love it, it’s just not real like all the mullets want to believe. the World Wide Fund For Nature focuses on issues regarding conservation, research and restoration of the environment. And they encourage everyone to turn off their non-essential lights for Earth Hour on March 27th from 8:30 to 9:30PM to raise awareness for climate change. Which, whether you even believe in climate change or not, you’ve got to admit I am gonna go to the beach tomorrow. Youtube Thanks to naas, who’s keeping his lights out for the entire month because he can’t pay the electric bill.

More:
Darth Vader Ad For The WWF’s ‘Earth Hour’

Ape Lad sez, “The bowling alley I once enjoyed as a child (in Riverside CA), is now furniture.” An abandoned bowling alley finds a second life in this beautiful series of furniture by LA-based designer/woodworker William Stranger. Crafted from reclaimed strips of wood salvaged from a local defunct Tava Lanes Bowling alley, the collection springs to life in a variety of forms including a series of wall hangings and a low coffee table. Recycled Bowling Lane Furniture is Right up Our Alley ( Thanks, Ape Lad ! )

See the original post:
Abandoned bowling alley becomes furniture

I don’t even know what to say except WTF, HORF and I would totally tape that to my head like a do-rag. Available for $8 on Etsy, this reusable menstrual pad (I can’t believe I’m typing this) is perfect for the Pokmon-loving , environmentally friendly chick with unshaven pits in your life. Not bleach safe or for human consumption. Really?! THEN WHY DID I JUST EAT ONE? Wait, why did I just eat one? My stomach: pump it. The contents: gotta catch ‘em all! Pokmon Menstrual Pad, Yours for Eight Bucks [kotaku] Thanks to Aisha, I think.

Link:
Reusable Pokmon Woman Pad Thingies

If our gadget dependency continues to worsen, this could be what our beaches will look like. [via Yanko Design ]

Go here to see the original:
Solar trees forecast a future where gadgets are charged on beaches

NatureWorks (a subsidiary of Cargill), makes “Ingeo”, a bioplastic spun from lactic acid generated from corn sugars. It’s the same stuff used by Sun Chips to make their new “compostable” bags that will be released in 2010. It’s exciting stuff, and I support the notion, but the commercial (linked above) is misleading about how you’ll be disposing of Sun Chips bags. According to NatureWorks’ FAQ : Can I throw Ingeo biopolymer into my backyard compost? Ingeo biopolymer should be composted in industrial compost facilities, which contain the right managed combination of temperature and moisture. Therefore, it is not recommended for use in typical backyard composting due to the lack of high temperature and inconsistent conditions. The commercial for Sun Chips never says you can just toss it in the backyard, but that’s certainly the implication.

Continued here:
Whoa there, Sun Chips: Ingeo corn plastic not suitable for backyard composting