AHAHHAHAHHAHA — that’s right by my house! Microsoft recently patented a feature for GPS systems that allows pedestrians to choose a walking route that avoids crime-ridden and bad-weather areas and a bunch of folks are getting up in a huff about it because some jackass at CBS News Seattle dubbed it the “avoid ghetto” feature and now everybody thinks that’s what it’s called. You dummies. More from a document filed with the United States Patent and Trademark Office: “A route can be developed for a person taking into account factors that specifically affect a pedestrian,”such as being in an unsafe neighborhood or in an area subject to harsh temperatures. “What is unclear, at least from my reading of the patent — which isn’t written by anything resembling a human hand or mind — is what kind of crime statistics the GPS might choose to use,” writes Chris Matyszczyk of CNET. Granted it would be Microsoft’s responsibility to be diligent about the type of information they use to dub an area unsafe, but I really don’t this is that bad an idea. I’d probably walk eight extra blocks to avoid an area notorious for muggings. I bet if it was nicknamed the “Batman’s Parents Memorial App” people wouldn’t be having such a f***ing problem with it. Microsoft’s ‘avoid ghetto’ patent destined for failure? [washingtonpost] Thanks to GW’s Lover, who — oh God please tell me I’m not a disappointment.

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Microsoft’s GPS ‘Avoid Crime-Ridden Areas’ Feature For Walkers Raises A Stink (Then Go Get Mugged!)

As the fight over the warrantless placing of GPS trackers on suspects’ cars continues, Americans continue to discover hidden GPS trackers. Wired’s looked at these before , and today they’ve got the story of “Greg,” a young man in San Jose, California, who found not one, but two warrantless trackers on his SUV. The 25-year-old resident of San Jose, California, says he found the first one about three weeks ago on his Volvo SUV while visiting his mother in Modesto, about 80 miles northeast of San Jose. After contacting Wired and allowing a photographer to snap pictures of the device, it was swapped out and replaced with a second tracking device. A witness also reported seeing a strange man looking beneath the vehicle of the young mans girlfriend while her car was parked at work, suggesting that a tracking device may have been retrieved from her car… Greg says he discovered the first tracker on his vehicle after noticing what looked like a cell phone antenna inside a hole on his back bumper where a cable is stored for towing a trailer. The device, the size of a mobile phone, was not attached to a battery pack, suggesting the battery was embedded in its casing… On Tuesday, Nov. 1, Wired photographer Jon Snyder went to San Jose to photograph the device. The next day, two males and one female appeared suddenly at the business where Gregs girlfriend works, driving a Crown Victoria with tinted windows. A witness reported to Greg that one of the men jumped out of the car, bent under the front of the girlfriends car for a few seconds, then jumped back into the Crown Victoria and drove off. Wired was unable to confirm the story. There was no writing on the tracker to identify its maker, but a label on the battery indicated that its sold by a small firm in Farmingdale, New York, called Revanche. A notice on a government web site last June indicates that it was seeking 500 of the batteries and 250 battery chargers for the Drug Enforcement Administration. A separate notice on the same site in 2008 refers to a contract for what appears to be a similar Revanche battery. The notice indicates the batteries work with GPS devices made by Nextel and Sendum. Busted! Two New Fed GPS Trackers Found on SUV

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New Fed warrantless GPS trackers discovered in the wild

While it’s true that dogs are already capable of responding to remote control, they generally have to be within sight or earshot. A doggie backpack developed at Auburn University allows control of a dog from miles away through a computer interface, just like a computer game.

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Remote control your dog with this vibrating GPS backpack

So this guy takes his car into the shop and the mechanics find this mysterious object stuck up next to the exhaust pipe. What is it? It turns out that it’s a Guardian ST820, a GPS tracking unit used exclusively by the army and law enforcement. Awkward!

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If you find one of these under your car, the FBI is tracking you

This is a funny little video of Yoda doing his voice recording for the Star Wars series of TomTom GPS voices . I’m not even gonna lie: I giggled. Like a schoolgirl . Now you may be wondering, “but GW, how you gonna giggle like a schoolgirl if you don’t have a plaid skirt and knee-socks on?” Oh I do. And I am HOT for teacher. Hit it for the worthwhile video. *waves hand in Jedi mind-trick motion*

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Yoda Recording His Lines For The Star Wars TomTom Voices

Now, there are in-car navigation systems , and there are in-car navigation ZOMG systems. This, chums, is one of the latter — Audi’s updated MMI system for its A8 sedan, which will incorporate Google Earth; the first time ever it’s been applied in a production car. As well as the hard-disk navi system, there’s a GPRS/EDGE modem, meaning you’ll be bombarded with a constant stream of Google info. You can plan your route on Google Maps, and Google Earth, as well as Audi’s online portal, and transmit all data to the A8’s sophisticated system. (Did I mention it’s got an 8-speed gearbox? Well, I just did.) So far, Audi says that the updated MMI system will be available in selected markets, but it’s remaining coy as to which country we’ll have to move to in order to get this as standard on our new set of wheels. Via Autoblog

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Audi A8 to rock Google Earth on its SatNav system

Our aging air traffic control network doesn’t only affect safety, it has an impact on delays, cancellations and efficiency in general. Controllers still rely on radar to guide aircraft, and there’s a bit of finesse needed to make it all work. For example, according to the New York Times, “When aircraft are crossing the Gulf of Mexico on the same compass heading, they leave airports 10 minutes apart because each must be surrounded by 100 square miles of ’sanitized’ space to avoid accidents. This curtails service.” With the new Automatic Dependent Surveillance — Broadcast system (or ADS-B), all of that mess could be a thing of the past. Where radar provides a series of blips and requires a pilot speak with controllers on the ground to get a read on where other aircraft are, ADS-B would provide both pilots and ground crew with a detailed look at the airspace using GPS. For the first time, a pilot can get a read on the terrain around him, see where all the airports are and even the location of other aircraft. The radar gear won’t all be thrown out, however. ADS-B is part of the Next Generation Air Transportation System, an initiative by the FAA to overhaul the air traffic control network by 2025. ADS-B is the shape the planned upgrade is taking; radar will remain as a backup in case of emergency. Via New York Times

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Air traffic control may finally get a much needed upgrade

SF Weekly writes : With the aid of a GPS — and nary a can of spray paint — San Francisco graphic designer Vicente Montelongo has created a series of bike trails in the city shaped like videogame heroes of yore… Montelongo has been posting maps of his GPS videogame trips on the Web site EveryTrail.com . New York Times more recently reports : Part sport, part art, GPS drawing lets runners, walkers, cyclists and hikers imagine themselves anew — not just as a collection of burning muscles, sweaty armpits, forward motion; not just as people endeavoring to crest a hill or lose five pounds. Instead, they are neo-cartographers, jumbo-size doodlers and bipedal pencils, mapping their track lines across cities, roads and farms, and sharing them online… Pedaling the rectangular city blocks in San Francisco, Vicente Montelongo, 32, a graphic artist, realized the street layout lent itself to the pixeled shapes of vintage 1980s video game characters like Pac-Man, Q*bert and Donkey Kong. Back home with a printed-out Google map and a pencil, he drew Pac-Man chasing a ghost over in the Sunset District and then set out on his bike, iPhone in tow, GPS mapping application on. After riding 8.6 miles in an unwavering line, he uploaded the GPS track data from his phone, and had his picture. If you’re in SF or planning to visit, here are directions on how to make the above Space Invader.

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HOWTO Create a GPS Grafitti Space Invader

When you’re climbing outdoors, you inevitably end up facing some of your biggest fears, whether it’s heights, dirt, or pooing in the wild. Here are some tips and tools on how I dealt with three of my phobias. 1. Mosquitoes Yes, there are mosquitoes in the wild! Tons at Lover’s Leap, where I went to test my climbing gear, especially near the little stream of water that runs along the path to the crags in the early evening. Outdoor Research has gaiters &mdash durable leg warmers that go over and strap under your shoes &mdash that are treated with insect repellent. Gaiters also help keep dirt and pebbles out of your shoes. Mosquitoes are often at the campsite, too. Since a lot of climbers ditch the tent in an effort to minimize weight, taking a bug bivy with you is also a good idea. 2. Heights I’m not normally scared of heights, but I have to admit that hanging out on the edge of a 400-foot-tall cliff and trying to look down to see how my climbing buddy was doing whilst being held in place by one flimsy rope was a little freaky at times. Since positive self-talk (it’s ok, breathe, you’re not gonna fall) was not really working, I thought of my own calming down method &mdash I found tiny flowers and leaves in the rock’s cracks and pretended they were my dog Ruby. “Hi Ruby,” I’d say, and suddenly my fear was replaced by a warm, fuzzy feeling. “What are you doing here?” I know it sounds crazy, but try it. It works. 3. Getting lost This may not be a realistic fear unless you’re going way into back country, but the thought of not being able to head straight back to base camp after a long day of hiking and climbing is pretty daunting. I was with a trustworthy leader who knew his way around the Leap, but if you’re trekking out on your own, you could take the Bushnell Backtrack &mdash it records your starting point and then constantly directs you back to it with arrows and mileage. Of course, this could be totally futile if roads are windy and sparse, or if there are rivers and bears and stuff that get in the way of a direct path home. But it hooks easily onto a carabiner and for $80, it’s not bad. (I also recommend this product, by the way, to people who can’t locate their cars in mall parking lots.) 4. Pooing in the wild The only thing I have to say about pooing in nature is that it’s fun! Try it. Just remember to wipe, and take your dirty paper with you after you’re done.

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Common outdoor climbing phobias and how to combat them

I used to never get lost in San Francisco. I was a safe driver who obeyed traffic rules. Then I got a GPS, and everything changed. I’m a closet road geek. I love thinking about how cities are built and how roads interconnect. When the new Octavia exit to the 101 opened up, I gawked at the pure genius that was highway construction for a month before I finally shut up about it. When I first moved to Bay area, I rode the pee-stained bus up and down the veins and arteries of San Francisco with a foldable city map and learned the names of all the side streets that crossed 19th Avenue, Geary Boulevard, and Market Street. By the time I got a car two years later, I had a map of the city imprinted in my geography geek brain. At first, the GPS (I have an old Garmin) was a novelty–a tool for experimentation. It was fun to see how long the thing thought it would take to get from point A to point B. I was just the receiving end of a network of commands relayed through the voice of a nice British lady. But then it became a habit, and weird things started happening to me. I started to forget how to get places without it. The map in my brain became a distorted blur. And then my driving became more reckless. I invented this game where I tried to beat the estimated arrival time that the GPS gave me. Often, that entailed running yellow lights and exceeding the speed limit. Sometimes, the GPS fell off of its suction cup on the windshield and onto the floor, and I would have to fumble around with my right hand while steering the wheel and shifting gears with my left. The worst was when it couldn’t locate an address or a satellite signal. I would drive around in circles bouncing between rage and confusion. Why am I relying on this dumb machine? Why is this machine that is supposed to help me get places screwing with my innate sense of direction? Ultimately, I think the GPS just made me lazier, stupider, angrier, and a worse driver. I wish I could say I’d rather be without one, but a part of me is dependent on it. I’m a recovering GPS addict who has been clean for several weeks, but it’s still sitting in my glove compartment beckoning to be used. Advisor is a new weekly column about how to juggle technology, relationships, and common sense. Got a story to tell? Email it to mango [at] tokyomango [dot] com.

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Advisor: Why my GPS is bad for my brain