This is a tiny scene from DOOM (which, after 17 years, was finally unbanned in Germany after “the potential to harm youth” was deemed negligible last week) painted on a fingernail . Presumably the thumb . Or is that a toe? Or — OR — were we all just trolled into staring at a painted penis at work? DUM-DUM-DUM! DOOM Fingernail is Cool Video Game Nail Art on a Pretty Gnarly Finger [ obviouswinner ] Thanks to khz, who got little pot leaves painted on all his nails once because he was high when he went in for his mani-pedi.

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Eensy-Weensy: A DOOM Fingernail Painting

This is a real game in development featuring Super Mario Bros. BUT WITH PROTALS!!!!11 (Protals are the new portals btw). It will eventually be released for free but you can’t play it yet because, well, that’s life. Oh shishi, you want some game facts? COO BRO I GOT THAT. All the source code of the game will be available after release The game will have mappacks, which will be downloadable from ingame. Users most likely won’t be able to publish maps directly, but will be able to send them in and we’ll add them for everyone to use. The primary maps will have a story and some portaly puzzles. What kind, well, we’ll figure that out as we go Level editor will be embedded in the game so you can edit the level while you play Original SMB levels and Lost levels will be included Simultaneous Multiplayer Looks promising. And I don’t say that about just any game. Yes, yes I do. You know how they always make a super shitty video game to accompany every kid’s movie that comes out? I’ve played all of them. Aaaaaaaaand I regret it. Hit the jump for a video of the gameplays.

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Super Mario Bros., Now With More Portals

Awkward move is awkward for brothers. This is a Super Mario themed swing dance routine being performed by Morgan Day and Emily Wigger at the National Jitterbug Championship or something. They didn’t place. It’s still pretty good though. Granted not as dramatic as you could make a Zelda themed swing routine , but I also don’t want to risk somebody desecrating the Zelda franchise for me. So…we get this. Watch it, don’t watch it, I’m on my third birthday beer and it’s 8:24. Hit the jump for the bideo.

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The Ol’ Super Mario Swing Dance Routine

Y U so mad bro? Note: Full-res version HERE in case you’re obsessed with serial killers and want to marry Dexter or something because he’s so dreamy. This is a comprehensive infographic detailing all of Jason Vorhees ‘ victims throughout the ‘Friday the 13th’ movie franchise. As you can see unless you’re the world’s worst counter or have zero spatial awareness, he’s killed a lot of people. But fear not, they were all bad people. “No they weren’t.” They weren’t? Then why’d he do it? “You see, as a kid Jason went to summer camp and all the kids there…” *sobbing* Please don’t bring up summer camp around me. God, they’re lucky I’m not a serial killer. Or am I? I’m not, FBI please take note. Jason Voorhees’ Body Count In All The ‘Friday the 13th’ Movies [slashfilm] Thanks to Erin and biz, who are convinced they could have taken Jason out. On what — a f***ing date ? He’d murder your asses!

Link:
The ‘Friday The 13th’ Kill Count Infographic

This is a Team Fortress 2 themed short entitled ‘Sentry Sabotage’. It is LUH-JIT. I tried to find a screenshot that would do it justice but I failed miserably. Not unlike the mandatory drug test I took for a job at Home Depot. Looks like my lifelong dream of working around power tools might finally be out of reach. *eying Superficial Writer * Haha, WTF am I talking about?! Hit the jump for the VERY worthwhile short.

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Super Impressive Team Fortress 2 IRL Movie

Picture related: sexy-time. One look at me and it may come as no surprise, but according to a recent study by an international team of scientists , there’s even more evidence early humans and neanderthals made sweet, sweet love together (okay truthfully it probably wasn’t that sweet, but still). …a small part of the human X chromosome, which originates from Neanderthals, is present in about nine per cent of individuals from outside of Africa. They found that many people from across all continents except for sub-Saharan Africa shared a piece of DNA called a haplotype with Neanderthals. Labuda says this haplotype was most likely introduced to the human genome when modern humans were making their way out of Africa and settling in other parts of the planet. He estimates “intimate contact” between humans and Neanderthals took place in the Middle East 50,000 to 70,000 years ago. Interestingly, “intimate contact” between a human and a stuffed animal t-rex took place in the bedroom 12-14 hours ago. Coincidence? You be the judge. Unless you’re gonna sweep my room with a blacklight to collect evidence in which case I’d like to opt out of that. Humans, Neanderthals got it on [cbcnews] (props for using “got it on”. I used that one in my previous article on the same subject) Thanks to Matt G, whose ancestors were all powerful wizards. Jelly!

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Study: Early Humans And Neanderthals Sexed

This is a battle between a sulfuric-acid based drain cleanser and a wet sponge . SPOILER : The sponge loses (although technically the acid is actually reacting with the water). I know you might be a fan of rooting for the underdog, but in this case the underdog gets its ass burnt off and handed to it. Reminds me of when I used to lock myself in my lab (read: bathroom) and mix random cleaners together in a bucket trying to invent a new, more powerful one. One time the smell alone made me pass out! That’s when I knew I had something. “Had what — the poison control hotline’s ‘Dumbf*** of the Month’ award in the bag?” They sent me a magnet for the fridge and everything! Hit the jump for the carnage.

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Sulfuric Acid Drain Cleaner Vs. Wet Sponge

This is a conceptual roller coaster designed by Royal College of Art doctoral student Julijonas Urbonas to kill all the riders as fun and ethically as possible. WHEEEEEEEEE!! *eyes roll back in head* “Euthanasia Coaster” is a hypothetic euthanasia machine in the form of a roller coaster, engineered to humanely — with elegance and euphoria — take the life of a human being. Riding the coaster’s track, the rider is subjected to a series of intensive motion elements that induce various unique experiences: from euphoria to thrill, and from tunnel vision to loss of consciousness, and, eventually, death. Thanks to the marriage of the advanced cross-disciplinary research in space medicine, mechanical engineering, material technologies and, of course, gravity, the fatal journey is made pleasing, elegant and meaningful. Meaningful? How is dying on a roller coaster meaningful? Dying saving kittens from a burning building, now that’s meaningful (plus will get you mad play in heaven). Dying trying to jump a previously un-jumped number of buses on a burning bicycle, that’s meaningful. Dying on a roller coaster? That’s not meaningful, that’s not pulling your lap bar down far enough (my brother and I both slid out of The Beast at King’s Island and got free season passes!). The Euthanasia Coaster is designed to be fun, briefly [dvice] Thanks to Dan, who refuses to ride any coaster that doesn’t stand a chance of killing him. That’s, uh, that’s all of them.

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The Roller Coaster Of Love Euthenasia: A Coaster Designed To Kill All Passengers

Katamari Damacy, the game where you roll over thing to collect them and grow bigger and bigger can now be played on any website , thanks to a clever bit of code. Contra ? Not yet, BUT I’M WORKING ON IT. How does it work? Short version: css transforms (for things stuck to the katamari), canvas (drawing the katamari), and z-index (illusion of depth). Long version: The bookmarklet loads jQuery and kh.js into the current page. jQuery is used mostly for .offset() and .css(). kh.js is where all the action happens: * Splits all the text on the page into words/spans. (StickyNodes::addWords) * Builds a grid data structure so that intersections with elements can be found quickly (StickyNodes::finalize). Essentially grid[floor(x / 100)][floor(y / 100)] is a list of elements in a 100×100 pixel block. This should probably be an R-tree, but the hot-spot in this program is definitely in the rendering. * The ball and stripes are drawn in a canvas that gets moved around the page (i.e. position: absolute; left: x; top: y;). See PlayerBall::drawBall. * When an element is attached to the katamari, a clone is made. The original element is hidden. The new element is moved around by setting -webkit-transform. The transform rotates the element about the rolling axis of the katamari and scales the element to make it look like it’s coming out of the page. See PlayerBall::drawAttached, transform_test.html, and transform_test2.html. Did that say magic? I’m going to assume that just said magic. WHICH THE INTERNET IS BY THE WAY . Now, go to THIS PAGE , copy the code from the box, go to the website you want to play on, paste the code in the address bar and get ready to get your game on at work! And after that? Rsum-updating. Katamari Hack (works best in Google Chrome or Firefox 4) via Katamari Hack rolls across your favorite websites, leaving swath of HTML5 destruction in its wake [engadget] Thanks to Jonathan, blake and Erin, who don’t roll anything but sushi. OH GREAT, NOW I’M GONNA BE WANTING SOME ALL DAY.

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Play Katamari Damacy On Any Website

This is a Nintendo cartridge that’s been stuffed with a breathalizer unit and synced to a homebrew NES game so you can blow into it and find out just how boozy you are. Fun for the whole family! (Except grandma, she’s a mean drunk). DrunkenNES is a for-real NES game lovingly constructed with machine code by Batsly [Adams], music by chiptune artist Kris Keyser and art by Motherboard photographer Emi Spicer. A regular NES cartridge has been loaded with an actual breathalyzer mechanism, which Batsly says he bought from a hardware store. He hacked it into a corded controller that connects to the console just like a normal joystick. After blowing into it for several seconds, the game calculates how slizzered you’ve gotten and awards you with one of several ‘results’ screens like Buzzed Bee and Party Kitten. Best party game ever? Yeah, I’d say so. Very cool. Of course the fact that you’d have to tote a whole NES around pretty much limits its practicality to at-home use only. Which, correct me if I’m wrong, is the one place it doesn’t how drunk you get. Unless you’re one of those drunk-texters, in which case, God, enough with the penis pictures already, I’m on a pay-per-text plan! Just kidding, but do try to consolidate. Hit the jump for a drunk cameraman filming a drunk breathalizer user. Barfy!

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NES 8-Bit Breathalizer Is An Actual Game