Is there anything sexier than a grandma strip-dancin’ ? Yes, every single thing in the world including being compacted to death in the back of a garbage truck. But for the six of you out there that are into crimes against nature , there’s the $115 Cushion-Grip Security Pole Mobility Aid. How about a review? The user needs this device to assist in getting in and out of bed safely. It has a nice cushion grip, is attractive, and easy to install. It is not as sturdy as I would have hoped it would be. It wiggles a bit in the middle and that makes me a bit nervous. But I like a little wiggle in the middle! No, no I don’t either. I like zero wiggles. Still, you’ve got to admit the thought of a grandma seductively gyrating her sloopy ass off the shitter does get you hot and bothered. No? Just cold and throwy uppy? Oh. Product Site Thanks to Eric-tile, who may or may not volunteer at a nursing home.

Read more from the original source:
Sexy Time!: Stripper Poles For The Elderly

Let’s not kid ourselves: you can’t watch mixed martial arts without getting aroused. So why not move those amorous feelings to the bedroom with a cage fighting bed? I can’t think of a good reason (well, besides the $1250 price tag). Pillow fight! Crafted from poplar hardwood poles, MDF frame with steel undercarriage bed supports. With the use of actual fencing, 9 gauge 6 core centers, foam padded rails and synthetic leather covers, this will last forever, just like the real deal. MDF Stairs include replica diamond plating Throwdown Anvil detail. Looking to get this bed for someone other than the little guy or gal? In addition to Twin, we have Full, Queen and King size as well! Oh man, this reminds me of the first time I walked in on my roommate having sex. Get it?! Because he was with another dude. Plus there was a ref. Product Site Thanks to BooGT, who [insert something about a rear naked choke-hold].

Read the original post:
Let’s Get It On!: MMA ‘Throwdown’ Caged Bed

This is a funny little video of Yoda doing his voice recording for the Star Wars series of TomTom GPS voices . I’m not even gonna lie: I giggled. Like a schoolgirl . Now you may be wondering, “but GW, how you gonna giggle like a schoolgirl if you don’t have a plaid skirt and knee-socks on?” Oh I do. And I am HOT for teacher. Hit it for the worthwhile video. *waves hand in Jedi mind-trick motion*

Link:
Yoda Recording His Lines For The Star Wars TomTom Voices

This is a list somebody wrote allegedly explaining why geeks make superior lovers (which is 100% true). Some of the reasons I agree with, but most of it sounds like it was written by someone who’s never seen a vagina before (is it true they look like baby crocodiles?!). 1. we’re more curious than the rest of the population. 2. We’re hackers by trade, so we are open to trying new things. 3. We produce things for ordinary users, so we’re more attuned to producing an orgasm in our partner then the rest of the population. 4. We use technology to help get you in the mood even before you arrive. 5. We’re more likely to mute our telephone, and turn down the volume on the computer so incoming IM’s don’t make a sound. We’re also used to not answering the telephone, instead preferring asynchronous means of communications. 6. We watch a lot of porn, so we know a lot of positions. This means we’re open to trying them all. 7. Geeks multitask. So we pleasure multiple erogenous zones in our partners… kissing, f***ing, tweaking and rubbing all at the same time. 8. We are more available. We can fix your vibrator when we’re not. Other people are not gonna steal us. We’re smart, and increasingly, we’re rich. 9. We’re sensitive to your needs. We learn this by spending way too much time with google analytics, nagios, server load times and iO rates. 10. Finally, we’re geeks. Girls prefer jocks. So we will go out of our way to be special to you. I’m pretty sure I could easily come up with a more convincing list. And I’m not just saying that because I’m probably definitely the most accomplished lover in the room, but I’ve never let my partner down. Sat on it a few times, sure, but never let it down. Have I, Rosie? Rosie?! Oh come on — TAKE THE OVEN MITT OFF AND TALK TO ME! Why geeks rock at sex [askmygirlfriend] Thanks to Brandon, who’s won the World’s Greatest Lover contest three years running and has the novelty coffee mugs to prove it (you bought them at the beach, didn’t you?).

Follow this link:
Why Geeks Are Better At Sex, A List

Readers, I though I’d take a second out of my busy schedule laying in bed to wish you all a happy and safe fourth of July. So get out there and grill something or whatever the hell people do to celebrate. And before you goobers begin the America trolling, remember: some countries don’t even have fireworks. Have a great fourth everybody and I’ll be back tomorrow. Possibly from the hospital! Be safe (you only get 10 fingers), The Geekologie Writer

Originally posted here:
Yay, Independence: Happy Fourth Of July!

This is a commercial for The League of S.T.E.A.M. (Supernatural and Troublesome Ectoplasmic Apparitional Management), a Victorian-looking ghost elimination company. I thought it was pretty cute. If you like what you see, they have a series of shorts on Youtube of them catching spirits or whatever the hell a bunch of steampunky ghostbusters do. And speaking of catching spirits — toss me an airplane bottle and LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED! Happy 4th of July weekend everybody! Hit it for the video.

More:
Whom Shall You Telegram?: Old-Timey Steampunk Ghostbusters Commercial

About sex than a dino orgy ? There aren’t any . Are you getting this, the birds and bees ?! Your shit doesn’t even make sense! I’ve NEVER seen a bird and bee do it. The closest I’ve come is one wasp making sweet, stingy love to another, much deader wasp in the window sill. And one may have actually been a hornet! Hit the jump for more dino-on-dino action (this time in a conga line!).

Read more here:
What Better Way To Teach Your Children…

Setting things on fire : it’s what separates man from lesser forms of life like fish and children . And what better way to celebrate humanity than setting fire an old iPhone ablaze with a giant magnifying glass (actually a Fresnel lens)? I can’t think of any. Also, I would have huffed every last wisp of those tasty looking fumes . Then, oh I don’t know, DECIMATED THE NEIGHBORHOOD’S ANT POPULATION! Oooooor set my penis on fire pretending it was a death ray (it’s happened before is the thing). Hit it for the fire in the iHole.

Read this article:
Burn, Baby, BUUUUUUUURN!: Setting An iPhone On Fire With A Giant Magnifying Glass

With World Cup fever in full swing what better way to celebrate than jamming a vuvuzela up somebody’s ass playing a little bathroom soccer ? Enter the Klokicker, the urine -based sport that’s sure to have you staring at another man’s wiener. Football mania while urinating ! It will make men’s hearts leap and make the women’s league give a loud groan. “klokicker - the footaball-urinal-sieve” … … is a green plastic inset for a urinal, with a football goal installed on top. A football dangles in front of the goal. The accuracy the male guests are capable of is now on the line and they have to “KICK” the ball into the goal. Bull’s eye! And the ball changes colorur. A lot of fun for top goal scorers! Did anybody else try reading that like a poem? Because it wasn’t a very good one. Also, what good is urinal soccer if I only pee sitting down? Still, it might be fun for you PROVIDED YOU CAN STOP PISSING ON YOUR SHOES LONG ENOUGH TO SCORE A GOAL. Here — let me aim. Product Site via Klokicker: The Soccer Urinal Sieve [walyou]

See the original post here:
GOOOOAAAAAAL!: Soccer Goal Urinal Game

Note: Video is after the jump because I don’t want you kids getting any ideas (yes, yes I do too — you should try it with the tailgate down ). This is a video of somebody’s grandpa passed out in a La-Z-Boy in the back of a speeding truck. Actually, he might be dead. But if not, he will be soon! And you know what that means: more Jello for us. Hit the jump for the video.

See more here:
What, No Safety Belt?: Grandpa Passed Out In La-Z-Boy In Back Of A Speeding Truck