Black Astrum is a London based company that’ll make you $1,500 apiece business cards inlaid with diamonds and gold. Except not really because you have to be INVITED to have the cards made. OH WHAT, MY MONEY ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?! Sufian Khawaja, Black Astrum’s concept director says, “We’ve had several enquiries from American celebrities and international businessmen, however our cards are offered by invitation only, reflecting our desire to serve only the most premier individuals”. The cards were originally created as a one-off project for a wealthy Middle Eastern family. Since its exclusively customized to a client’s specifications, the cost of making varies. However, the company states that the average selling price per card is about the 1000 ($1,500), and it is sold in sets of 25, 50 and 100 cards. Yeaaaaaaah , if you’re the kind of person that can drop $150,000 on 100 business cards, do you really NEED business cards? Because if I had that kind of money I’d greet everyone I met with an uppercut. F*** you, I’m rich! Product Site (you’re too poor to click, don’t even bother) via World’s most expensive business card is diamond studded and costs $1500 a pop [luxurylaunches] Thanks to Erin, who agrees if there’s one person who deserves $1,500 business cards, it’s me. I know, right? Maybe the mailman put my invitation in the wrong apartment box.

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You’re Out Of Your Mind: $1,500 Business Cards

This is the Anliker McLaren SLR 999 Red Gold Dream. It started as a Mercedes SLR McLaren , but apparently after you do so much gaudy shit to something you get to rename it. You and I will now refer to it as the USS Boobooprise. It was created under the watchful retarded eye of Swiss entrepreneur Ueli Anliker, who clearly has no concept of class, or fear of being blinded while driving. The garish body has 25 layers of red paint with 5kg of gold dust worked into it. Each of the car’s wheels are covered in 24 carat gold as are the headlights and door sills And the car’s supercharged 5.4-litre engine has had power boosted from 640bhp to 999bhp - giving it a top speed of more than 210mph. Inside, there are jewelled indicators, a gold-trimmed interior and steering wheel and ruby-covered switchgear. In total there are more than 600 rubies within the car’s interior, which would have cost around 300,000 [~$470K] before the staggering overhaul. Mr Anliker is now selling the Mercedes with a ‘minimum’ price-tag of 7 million [~$11-million] - making it the world’s most expensive vehicle for sale on the open market. *spitting Carnation Instant Breakfast* $11-million?! WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?! How anyone who’s clearly such a piss-poor decision maker has been able to make money in this world is blowing my mind right now. I mean, sure, maybe I have a pair of panties hanging from my rearview, but come on, that’s classy . “And the skull gearshift knob?” The shrunken head of an enemy. Hit the jump for a bunch more of the WTFery plus a video.

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Man Transforms Mercedes McLaren Into Giant POS

Seen here looking suspiciously like it was made out of foam-board and an old computer monitor, a diamond and jewel dispensing ATM participates (possibly unwillingly — ATMs are hard to read sometimes) in a ribbon-cutting ceremony in India. Although, truthfully, they’re not actually ATMs, just jewelry vending machines . OLD IDEA IS OLD — 25 rings. The Gitanjali Group, which claims to be the world’s biggest integrated manufacturer of branded jewelry, opened the machine in a luxury shopping mall in the city Sunday and said that it already served a “substantial number of customers.” With prices ranging from 1,000 rupees ($20.17) to 30,000 rupees, customers can pay by cash or credit card for products ranging from gold coins etched with an image of Lakshmi, the Hindu goddess of wealth, to diamond-studded pendants in the shape of a swastika, which in India is an ancient religious symbol of unity. So I guess jewelry-dispensing ATMs ($20 to $600? That…doesn’t sound like very quality jewelry) are the new gold-dispensing ATMs . Me? I’m this year’s knowledge -dispensing ATM. Just kidding, but for a quarter I will tell you a secret. “Fine.” I don’t like olives. “That’s not a secret!” …Because I’ve eaten one that’s been between another man’s buttcheeks. College, amirite?! “Absolutely f***ing not.” Right. World’s First Diamond-Dispensing ATM Launches in India [foxnews] Thanks to Lauren, who doesn’t buy jewelry, jewelry is bought for her. Oh man, I saved up like $220 to buy a highschool girlfriend a necklace from Tiffany & Co. and then spent it on an R/C car instead and called her to break up and told her it was because I was moving out of town even though we both knew it was because her eyes were too far apart.

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Of Course: Diamond-Dispensing ATMs

Because most rich-ass people got no damn class, Robert Glpen (yeah — gulpin’ down endangered fish caviar on a yacht probably!) is selling this 1/8-scale diamond and jewel encrusted Lamborghini Aventador at auction for $4.8-million. Allegedly, the car has over $2.7-million in gems and exotic metals and Robert spent over 500 man-hours putting it all together. Which means… $4,800,000 -$2,700,000 $2,100,000 $2,100,000 500 = $4,200 Oh helllllllllllllllllllllllllllll no your time isn’t worth got-damn $4,200/hour, Robert! WHO THE F*** DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, RUMPELSTILTSKIN?!?! Hit the jump for the smarmiest-ass smile I’ve seen in a long time.

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1/8-Scale Jeweled Lamborghini Selling For $4.7 Million, Actual Car Only $380K

So apparently Chinese prisoners are being used by prison bosses and guards as free labor to mine the shit out of World of Warcraft gold and other virtual commodities and aren’t even allowed to level up their characters . Now that’s harsh. “Prison bosses made more money forcing inmates to play games than they do forcing people to do manual labour,” Liu told the Guardian. “There were 300 prisoners forced to play games. We worked 12-hour shifts in the camp. I heard them say they could earn 5,000-6,000rmb [470-570] (~$770-935) a day. We didn’t see any of the money. The computers were never turned off.” It is estimated that 80% of all gold farmers are in China and with the largest internet population in the world there are thought to be 100,000 full-time gold farmers in the country. Prison farming aside, there’s over a hundred-thousand full-time Warcraft gold farmers in China?! That’s f***in’ nuts! I can’t even imagine numbers that high. Or, okay, anything past the hundreds. “Not even 1,000?” Whoa whoa whoa — cool it with all the zeros, homey! China used prisoners in lucrative internet gaming work [guardian] Thanks to AverageGeekGirl, who collects gold the old fashioned way: chasing leprechauns.

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I Want The Gold — Gimme The Gold: Chinese Prisoners Forced To Farm Warcraft Gold

Infra-red satellite imaging of Egypt has revealed a buried city near San El Hagar with over 17 pyramids, 1,000 tombs and 3,000 other buildings. It’s the ancient city of Tanis, and it’s where the Ark of the Covenant is buried (provided you believe Raiders of the Lost Ark , but not past the point where Indy actually finds it, the Nazi’s get all f***ed up after opening it, and it winds up in a crate in some nondescript government warehouse). Sounds legit to me! The team analysed images from satellites orbiting 700km above the earth, equipped with cameras so powerful they can pin-point objects less than 1m in diameter on the earth’s surface. Infra-red imaging was used to highlight different materials under the surface. Ancient Egyptians built their houses and structures out of mud brick, which is much denser than the soil that surrounds it, so the shapes of houses, temples and tombs can be seen. So like, is looting still frowned upon? Hey — I don’t even need the ark, I’d settle for a mummified cat and a jarful of organ jerky. Just a little something for my foyer to let visitors know I’m cultured. “Would you settle for a paperback copy of ‘The Book of the Dead’ and a cartouche necklace that reads ‘Geekologie Writer’?” SOLD! Egyptian pyramids found by infra-red satellite images [bbcnews] and Buried city revealed by satellite [bbcnews] (with video) Thanks to Paul E, not to be confused with Wall E, who I’d beat to pieces with a shovel.

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Infra-Red Satellite Imaging Reveals Buried Egyptian City, Final Resting Place Of The Ark Of The Covenant! (Per Indiana Jones)

This is the (Abu Dhabi) Emirates Palace hotel’s $11 million Christmas tree. Well, technically the tree only cost $10K, it’s just covered in $11 million of gold and diamond tackery. It’s a marketing effort to drum up interest in the hotel . Right, like I’m rich enough to fly to the UAE and stay in a $400 - $7,000/night hotel. Just sayin’, I had to ask a friend to spot me bus-fare yesterday. Plus I stole two packs of Ramen when he was in the bathroom! The vast majority of the population of the oil-rich UAE are Muslim. But Mr Olbertz said he did not think the tree would offend local sensibilities. “It’s a very liberal country,” he said, according to AFP. Asked what security measures were in place to prevent theft of jewellery from the tree, assistant director of marketing Hazem Harfoush said the tree was “good proof that Abu Dhabi is a safe destination”. And the hotel was even safer, Mr Harfoush told the BBC. “We have 24/7 security, four security guards closely monitoring the space plus security cameras.” “Very liberal country” aside, did that just say FOUR security guards? Can you excuse me for just a sec? *dialing* Hello, Grinch? Tie Max’s antler back on, it’s time to steal another Christmas. UAE hotel boasts ‘most expensive Christmas tree ever’ [bbcnews] Thanks to Liz, who doesn’t like trees and decided to decorate a shrub instead. What the — WHO DOESN’T LIKE TREES?!

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Definitely NOT The True Meaning Of Christmas: Hotel’s $11 Million Tree

Sure it may look like a regular Porsche GT3 wearing a tinfoil helmet so aliens can’t read its mileage, but it’s actually a pedal-powered scale mockup . HOHO! Now I don’t know about you, but I’d pedal that sucker around town and holler at all the fly honeys . Things like, “HOLY SHIT LADY, GET OUT OF THE WAY I CAN’T STOP!!” She will be so turned on. It’s like taking candy from a baby plowing through the Farmer’s Market in a pedal-car. Hit the jump for a ton more pics, and the link to a whole bunch more.

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Great Fuel Economy, Horrible Everything Else: Full Scale Pedal-Powered Porsche GT3

This gold and diamond encrusted Mario pendant recently sold on eBay for the low, low price of $2,600. Yes I bought it! Which is exactly why I didn’t post it until after the deal was done. I can’t have you stealin’ my blang! What did I get for my hard-earned cashmoney?: Total Carat Weight: 4.25CT Metal Type: 10K Solid Yellow Gold Gemstone: Natural Diamond Stone Clarity: SI Stone Color: Black, blue, canary, & white Stone Cut: Round Setting: pave Weight: 31.60 Grams Width: 2 Inches Length: 3.25 Inches Note: Mario Design. Okay, I know I said I bought it earlier, but the thing is I lied. You see, I don’t have two arcade tokens to rub together, let alone a couple extra G’s. What do I look like, I’m rich? Haha, no, not all the handsome people are rich. eBay Auction (seller has other gamer jewelry as well) via Diamond coated Mario can be yours for $2600 [yahoopluggedin] Thanks to Jay, who considered buying it but decided to hold out for Toad.

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Gamer Bling: Gold & Diamond Mario Pendant

Have a bunch of obsolete Apple products sitting around collecting dust? Trade them for gold ! Gold For Macs accepts iPods , MacBooks and everything in between and sends you cold hard cash gold in return. I just sent them 40 Dells with Apple stickers over the logo! Am I a genius or what? I am. I was also the first one to melt cheese in Ramen noodles. Youtube Thanks to Michael, whose friends made the video and shouldn’t be allowed to make any more. Kidding guys, go for it.

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Let’s Make A Deal: Gold For Macs Commercial