This is a series of conceptual Evian water bottles designed by Mandy Brencys to look like both Star Wars characters AND lightsabers . Still, would you be willing to pay an extra $2 for a bottle of water that looks like a wookie-saber? Of course you would — look who I’m f***ing talking to. Evian Star Wars (on Marcy’s CargoCollective page) Thanks to PYY, who may or may yes be a water fairy. “Woodland.” She’s a woodland fairy.

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Conceptual Star Wars Character Evian Bottles

This is a sideways, butt-ass quality video of some bro trying to crush 22 beer cans in a row on his forehead. But not like, one hit and it’s crushed — oh no — this dumb bastard beats himself with them like he’s hammering a f***ing nail in concrete. He does do it though, but not before bloodying his head. It is an absolute MUST WATCH if you’re into bros hurting themselves. I give it 65 out of 200 IQ points. Hit the jump for the sixth year senior in training.

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You’re An Idiot: Dude Smashes 22 Beer Cans On Head

This is the $34 Mario warp pipe coffee mug from Fangamer , the same company that brought us the Mega Man energy tank coffee mug . It makes a great stocking stuffer. Or, should I say, stocking clogger ? Get it? Because it’s a pipe and sometimes pipes get clogged if you flush too many paper towels and tampons. What? I’M BEING REAL. Plus one time I flushed a pair of underwear because I’d made a mistake in the back and was too embarrassed to have my girlfriend wash them. $140 later the plumber Roto-Rooted them out and showed them to her anyways. CURSE YOU, MARIO! Hit the jump for several more shots, including the mug as a (piranha) planter.

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Warp Me Awake, STAT: The Mario Pipe Coffee Mug

Your mannequin: he needs an ass and a belt. This is a backpack with two integrated 4-quart beverage containers and really long straws. The mannequin in the picture? He filled his with tea. I’m gonna fill mine with milk and cookies . No, no I’m not. I’m gonna fill one side with bourbon and the other WITH BLOOD. It’s the secret to my power. “What power?” The power of intimidation. You know how many people will still wanna fight after watching a man drink blood? Only the ones you should run away from. Amazon Product Site via Dual Drink Backpack [thisiswhyimbroke] Thanks to Tigi Turnbot, who just tied a piece of rope to the handles of two milk jugs and slung them over his shoulders. Thrifty, I like it.

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Oh Yeah, Real Incognito: The Dual Booze Backpack

Booze : it’s the best medicine. “No way, GW — weed FTW.” YOU SHUT YOUR HIPPIE MOUTH, STONER. You’re right though, they’re both great provided you’ve graduated high school AND HAVE A F***ING JOB. This is a prescription booze flask . It looks official. Not sure if a cop is gonna let you go if you produce it from your pocket, but my guess is no. You ever spent a night in the drunk tank before? It’s not as much fun as it sounds. “It doesn’t sound like any fun.” Well it’s even unfunner than that. Plus if you ever have touse the bathroom you have to do it right in front of 12 other dudes. It’s not the kind of situation where humming loud can muffle the sound of turds hitting the water. Product Site via Take Two Before Bed And Don’t Bother Calling In The Morning: Rx Label Flask [incrediblethings] Thanks to TSNDD, who agrees that alcohol has by far the most desirable side effects compared to all the wack-ass pills they’re always advertising on TV. Rectal bleeding? No thanks!

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Rx Booze Flask: Finally, The Medicine For My Sickness

This is a paper wine bottle. It was designed to help reduce the energy use associated with shipping wine because, I don’t know if you’ve ever been beat in the head with one in a really fancy bar fight before, but those glass bottles are heavy . I’ll f***ing kill you, Mr. Monopoly! So yeah — making the earth a greener place by reducing the shipping weight of wine bottles . Not gonna lie, that wouldn’t be the first thing I’d tackle. A leprechaun, yes. WHERE’S THE GOLD, LITTLE MAN?! While it looks a little rough on the outside, a challenge Martin will have to overcome when it comes to selling it to the consumer, the paper bottle weighs just 50 grams compared to the 500 grams of a glass bottle. It also has just ten percent of the carbon footprint of glass, so it’s cheaper to make and recycle. The paper bottles are even the exact same size as the glass bottles they hope to replace, so they can be easily integrated into existing production lines and transportation systems. The paper bottles actually have the same foil bags inside as boxed wine does, so the paper doesn’t get all mushy. Now, are you thinking what I’m thinking? “Remove the bags and tape them to your belly to sneak into a movie”? YES! You buy popcorn and I’ll let you have some. Will Wine Snobs Embrace a Paper Bottle? [gizmodo] Thanks to Marco, who still drinks wine the old fashioned way: out of a pimp cup . Dammit Marco, nobody used to do that. “Kings did!” I stand corrected.

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Booze Is Booze Is Booze: Paper Wine Bottles

Seen here looking suspiciously like a futuristic TNT detonator, The Airdrop is basically a dehumidifier for use outdoors that can pull water from the air, and use it to water thirsty plants . Which reminds me…*opening closet door* Have you learned your lesson, fern?! “Waaaaaaaaaaaater me.” *slams door* TWO MORE DAYS OF SOLITARY FOR NOT ADDRESSING ME AS GW, GIVER OF LIFE! With a deceptively modest design, Airdrop filters hot environmental air through a turbine, feeding it through a copper tubing system–with copper wool to maximize surface area–and into the earth where it cools and releases moisture. The dry air is then re-released into the atmosphere and the collected water pumped through semi-porous hoses to the plant roots. In his initial prototype, which was much smaller than the current design, Linnacre was able to produce a liter of water per day. Impressive, but a liter of water a day — that’s…not a whole lot for a bunch of thirsty plants in a drought. I’m afraid if they don’t wind up making these thing bigger you’re gonna have to choose just which weed plant you want to survive. This ‘air harvester’ pulls water from thin air in times of drought [dvice] Thanks to Harry, who agrees you should at least try a rain dance first.

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I Don’t Drought It: ‘Airdrop’ Machine Pulls Water From Air To Feed Starving Plants

This is Geekologie Reader Owain’s killer robot Halloween costume. He’s particularly proud of it because he found a way to still drink while wearing a mask . Clever, Owain. I mean I’m still gonna kill you, but clever. Picture

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"How To Drink And Still Wear A Mask": Geekologie Reader’s Killer Robot Costume

Popular web-comedy series ‘ The Guild ‘ featured a cameo appearance by Jones Soda in recently aired season 5 episode 5, and in return the pop-brewer has made the cast into limited edition sodas. HOLY F*** WHERE’D YOU GET THE SPELL?! Also, watching shows online? Please , that’ll never catch on! “Um, GW? ” Not now, my VHS rewinder is jammed. Who is your inner gamer most like? The strong Warrior skills of Vork Green Apple Soda….the sexy Priestess charm of Codex Strawberry Lime…the blade slingin’ Rogue skills of Bladezz Cola…the Mage like insight of Clara Berry Lemonade…the Long Rage wit of Tinkerballa Grape….or the Warlock magic of Zaboo Blue Bubblegum. I dunno, my gamer is more like A LEVEL 80 EATER WITH CHIP-CRUMBS IN HIS BELLY BUTTON. Kidding, but I do keep a roll of quarters in there for emergencies. Snacking ones. OMG — a vending machine with cream cheese danishes!! Jones Soda Product Site ($13 for the 6-pack) via The Guild: The Soda [toplessrobot] Thanks to Karey, who once chugged five 4 Locos and when she finally came to, her guild had banned her for killing them all during a raid.

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I Drink Your Character, I Drink It Up!: ‘The Guild’ Web Series Now A Limited Edition Soda

Seen here looking like something I’d kill in a video game, a woman displays the DareDroid 2.0, an interactive dress that rewards ‘Truth or Dare’ participants with cocktails for “legitimate” answers and poison for “illegitimate” ones . Fine, I was lying about the poison thing. That would make it way more interesting though. What?! I’m desensitized, I have a hard time getting kicks anymore! Me: Truth or dare? You: Dare. Me: I dare you to tell me I wouldn’t shoot you. You: You wouldn’t shoo– *BLAM! BLAM BLAM BLAM!* Me: Truth or dare? You: Truth. Me: Have you ever seen so much of your own blood before? You: I only see white. Me: Does it have a beard? That might be God. Truth or dare? You: Dare. Me: Dare you to see how long you can wait before going to the hospital. Hit the jump for several more shots and an explanatory video.

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WTF: A Trivia-Asking, Drink Dispensing Dress