Note: Please don’t squint and damage your eyes — God knows they’ve already suffered enough from all the masturbating. Click HERE to see a high-res version. This is the (Subjective) Timeline of the Best Gifts Ever. I guess it’s not really Christmas -specific like I mentioned in the title, but I’m a liar and I have a drinking problem . Anyway, I was born in ‘81 so the chart is only a year off for me, and fairly accurate. As a matter of fact, the only things on the list I’ve never had are the Fashion Plates and Clueless shoes (although I specifically asked for both), iPod , camera, iPad and iPhone 4 . Which — WTF is up with all the Apple stuff anyway? STOP ASKING FOR THAT STUFF, FOLKS. Fun fact: every time a stocking is stuffed with an Apple product instead of something from Santa’s workshop Santa has to murder an elf because he doesn’t have the heart to lay them off. Do you want that on your head? I don’t. But a propeller beanie? Absolutely. The Subjective Timeline of the Best Gifts Ever [milo] Thanks to The Lion The Witch and the HJ, who, OH REAL MATURE!

Read the rest here:
Timeline Of The Best Christmas Presents

There’s nothing I can’t stand more than a screaming child . If I ever have children they’re never gonna scream. Or cry. Or, God willing, know who their father is. I’m a role model! Goodbye N64 Kid, Hello Xbox 360 Kid [gizmodo]

More here:
I Hope It’s Red Ringed Already: Kid Gets XBox For Christmas, Screaming Like A Girl Ensues