Remember those limited edition Marc Ecko Star Wars hoodies that came out a few years ago? Those were pretty cool (well, except the $100+ price tags). These ones? Not as much. But they are less than half the price, so you won’t get as pissed when you burn a hole in the chest shooting bottle rockets at a friend playing ‘Boba Fett, Bounty Hunter’ or whatever the f*** you weirdos do on weekends. Did I mention all three models COME WITH FULLY ZIPPABLE HOODS AND MESH EYEHOLES TO SEE OUT OF?! Because they do. Don’t believe me? Hit the jump to see just how good you’ll look wearing one like that. SPOILER: Not at all. Leia wouldn’t even give you a second glance. “But…” Butt?! Your ass is even worse — she’d probably vom! Hit the jump for the hoodies zipped up and on people.

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Cheap!: $50 Star Wars Character Hoodies

This is a line of Marvel superhero /supervillain hoodies for sale by ThinkGeek. As you can see, they come in Spiderman, Venom and Captain America varieties and will set you back $50 apiece. And that’s for any size — including 2XL . Now that’s what I call taking your target demographic into consideration! Get it? Because I’m overweight. Just sayin’, you wanna know the last time I saw my toes? During last month’s pedi. God, I’m not THAT bad! (Yes I am too they could’ve painted little penises on my nails for all I know). ThinkGeek Product Site via Marvel Superhero Hoodies [laughingsquid] A special shoutout to Patty Mayonnaise — get better soon, we’re thinking about you.

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Not Foolin’ Anyone: Marvel Superhero Hoodies

Ben Heck, modder extraordinaire , went and created a Portal t-shirt. I assume for Halloween, but possibly just for fun. It’s almost identical to this guy’s “hole through the chest” shirt, except that one doesn’t have a Portal theme, making it forgettable at best. What was I just talking about? Exactly. Hit the jump for an entirely-too-long 17-minute video of the shirt from conceptualization to building to finished product.

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The Hole Is A Lie: Real Life Portal T-Shirt

See? When it’s zipped up it looks like a regular hand wave, but, after a partial zip-down, it becomes the traditional Vulcan salute . Plus — BAM! — sex-change, bow tie and glasses! And all for $40. Not even a back-alley surgeon will sew a wiener on for that cheap! And that’s not taking the glasses or bow tie into consideration. Even clip-ons are expensive these days. Plus, and I’m just throwing this out there — with a little alteration you could turn this Spocker into a shocker . You’ll be the envy of your whole fraternity! Threadless Product Site Thanks to Ace, who doesn’t wear hoodies because they always f*** up his do’.

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Clever, Veeeery Clever: Spock Hand Hoodie

This is a t-shirt designed by BattleTankBob that’s up for voting with the hope that Threadless will actually print them. Which, if they did, I’d probably buy. And not just because I really hope it comes with that fake mustache , but I am considering moonlighting as a private eye. And by private eye I obviously mean peeping tom. I see you! No-Life Meter [threadless] Thanks to Bob, who — oh shit, the BattleTank himself?! I want a ride!

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The Story Of My Life In Zelda T-Shirt Form

Note: Higher-res screen shot I took myself HERE . This is a really pretty blouse (Is it a blouse? I have no idea) from JC Penney that has a ‘Chewbacca Pink’ color option . If you don’t believe me you can go to JC Penney yourself HERE or just take my word before because I’m trustworthy and would never steer you wrong. Steer you off a bridge and jump out at the last possible moment sure, but not wrong. Anyway, Chewbacca pink: it’s slimming. JC Penney Product Site via Color Me Baffled of the Day [thedailywh.at] Thanks to emerica, who God blesses. Me? I just get spited.

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So Hot Right Now: ‘Chewbacca Pink’ Tops

The BeerBot Bottle Opening Shirt from ThinkGeek is a $20 tee with incorporated bottle opener . I assume BeerBot is supposed to be a copyright-free version of Bender , but I could be wrong. But you’re so handsome. Am I STILL wrong? Never been wronger, butterface! ThinkGeek Product Site via BeerBot Shirt Gets Your Bottles Open [uberreview] Thanks to sara, who knows the best way to drink beer is straight from the barley’s boobie. Wheat’s teat?

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I’ll Stab You: BeerBot Bottle Opening Shirt

It’s a space station. As you may or may not know, the t-shirt was invented in 1722 by a Mr. Nathanial T. Shirk to keep your nipples from falling off. One misnomer at the London patent office later and the rest, my friends, is history . A history I just made up. Which let’s be honest, is far more interesting than the real thing. Did I ever tell you the one about how our solar system was created by two magicians fighting over a turtle? That one’s actually true. Product Site Thanks to Alex, L3g3ndQ, mike469x and wulk, who all would have bought it if it came in a rayon blend.

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Three Ewok Deathstar Shirt: That’s No Moon!

I’ve been trying to avoid posting t-shirts lately because a lot of you think t-shirt articles are lame, but then I realized I’m a man who has to follow his heart ask his mom for a ride to the mall later, and I should do whatever I want. Plus this is a f***ing dino with lasers and a battle axe . It’s very Dino-Riders. And if you’re not into that I’m not even sure you should be here in the first place. Doctors should probably smush you back up into your mom’s vagina UNTIL YOU GROW A BRAIN. Also, an extra inch or two down there certainly wouldn’t kill your girlfriend either. Plus you’d stop soaking your pubes every time you pee (you cry because it’s true). Anyway, $9 plus $2 shipping ($5 international) takes the shirt home BUT ONLY UNTIL MIDNIGHT EASTERN. After that it’s gone, but you still have two hours to convince a skank at the bar to come home with you. Tee Fury (different shirt tomorrow) Thanks to Comfort Eagle, Holy Crap! Lions!, Phloyd, Spartacus, Blaqk Panda, Vasssskk, Leeman, Xager, Quintin, JDARKHUNTER, R Fletcher, Whit, Quax, Lea C, supertt, Mr T, Patrick, Nikki, JAMES, The Awesome Sauce Wyatt and Andy, who were all sewn out of 100% polyester badassery and silkscreened with dildos on their chests awesomeness.

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Today Only: Battle-Dino Shirt At Tee Fury

From Teefury comes ‘Hothmas’ a seasonal t-shirt feauring an AT-AT Rudolph getting wrapped up by a T-47 airspeeder. Teefury , like shirt.woot, features a different shirt every day. Except, unlike shirt.woot, Teefury’s designs are gone forever after 24 hours with no chance of revival on the site (shirt.woot’s ‘Zombie Vampire Robots from Space’ design featured two weeks now available again HERE for $15). $9 plus $2 shipping takes the shirt until midnight eastern, when I’ll turn into a pumpkin awesome dragon. Teefury (will be a different shirt every day)

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TODAY ONLY: Star Wars ‘Hothmas’ T-Shirts