Because what could be better than a bunch of unmanned flying death machines getting infected with a a computer virus , a bunch of unmanned flying death machines have been infected with a computer virus. *crosses fingers for something terminal* The virus, first reported by Wired magazine’s defense blog, is allegedly logging pilots’ every keystroke as they carry out their missions. “Military network security specialists aren’t sure whether the virus and its so-called ‘keylogger’ payload were introduced intentionally or by accident; it may be a common piece of malware that just happened to make its way into these sensitive networks,” the article says. “The specialists don’t know exactly how far the virus has spread.” Reuters posted a story that says the drones continue to carry out missions even with the virus. The article also quotes an unnamed source who said: “Something is going on, but it has not had any impact on the missions overseas.” “Meh, they got a virus — no biggie.” NO BIGGIE?! That’s like sending a kid to school with chicken pox! Or, even worse, no lunch . Don’t forget to pack them, parents — it’s the most important meal of their day. Get it?! Because you didn’t make them breakfast either. Combat drones’ computer systems reportedly infected with virus [latimes] Thanks to Jeff, Admiral Tits (I’d serve under you any day!) and Colin, who once used keystroke loggers to get their roommates’ Facebook passwords, then changed all their profile pictures to penises. OMG — CLASSIC!

Originally posted here:
This Will End Well: Unmanned Combat Drones Infected With Computer Virus

Honey, I’m sorry, but I don’t even feel comfortable making love with those bottoms in the same room as me . Created by Pale Horse Design and sold by Iron Fist Clothing each matched bikini set ($30) is sure to shrink any man’s turtle at the beach even smaller than it already is (the water’s cold, God!). Because if I know women (and I know women), there’s one thing they’re looking for when swimsuit shopping : A BIKINI THAT’LL MAKE THEIR PRIVATES LOOK LIKE A F***ING MONSTER. *develops body-image issue* Product Site via Monster Bikinis of the Day [geeks.thedailwh.at] Thanks to Claire, who agrees topless is the new bikini.

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Yikes: Monster Bikinis With Toothy Bottoms

I live in LA and am officially never fixing anything ever again. This is the security camera footage of a local hardware store in Christchurch, New Zealand during a recent magnitude 6.3 earthquake . As you will see, it’s not the place you want to be when the world starts shaking. Standing in a doorframe making sweet, sweet love to a special ladyfriend, yes. I can see it now: “God, you WOULD let an earthquake do all the work!” HAHA — damn bro, now that’s f***in’ lazy! (Double entendre — count it) Hit the jump for the STAY OUT OF THE HAMMER AISLE. (Action starts around 1:00, watch without volume)

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Where Not To Be During An Earthquake: Hardware Store Edition

Hacking a toy’s remote-contro l mechanism to open your blinds when you wake up in the morning: cool. Hacking a toy’s remote-control mechanism directly into a cockroach’s nervous system to make it turn whatever direction you want it to: WAIT — WHAT THE F***?! By modifying the HEXBug toy “Inchworm” circuitry to deliver pulses, we stimulated the antenna nerves of the discoid cockroach to “trick” the cockroach into turning upon command. Stay tuned! as we make the preparation easier, more reliable, and lighter! Granted we’ve already seen the same performed on flying beetles , but I felt like there was a lot more that went into that. I didn’t know you could just take a toy apart, poke some wires into a cockroach and be good to go. What if the mad scientists find out about this?! SPOILER : MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Get it? Because that’s how they laugh. Hit the jump for the ‘oh God please squash it, please squash it!’ in action.

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NO: Bionic Cockroach Controlled By Remote

Hey, I warned you. NOT UNSEEABLE usually means you don’t want to see it . Remember that time you climbed on top of the bathroom counter and bent over to peek between your legs and get a closeup of your butt in the mirror ? Well it’s just like that. Except all these have two eyes. ZA-ZA-ZA-ZING! Hit the jump for a couple more and a link to the scarring blog.

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NOT UNSEEABLE: Muppets w/ Human Eyes

In case you haven’t seen it splattered all over the news because you don’t believe mainstream media ( and you shouldn’t ), here’s one of the rescue capsules that’s currently being used to pull the 33 trapped Chilean miners from the darkness almost 1/2 mile below. Did I mention it’s only 21.25 inches in diameter? Because it is. Now I know what you’re thinking, “OMG, they’d have to leave me down there!” I’m afraid so. This Is the Coffin That Will Save the Miners [gizmodo] Thanks to ACORNSTU, who would have dug his own tunnel to the surface because he was raised by mole-people. Oooh oooh — let’s burrow to China!

Link:
Cramped: The Chilean Mine Rescue Capsule

This is a sessy video of a pole dancing ninja that, for at least part of her routine, performs with her sword out. An actual sword FYI, that wasn’t a euphemism for a man-hammer. Or was it? It wasn’t so just go watch the video. Pole dancing ninjas : they’re not as uncommon as you’d expect. Just sayin’, strippers have stolen my wallet more times than I’d like to admit. FINE, ELEVEN TIMES, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! I need one of those wallet chains but I don’t want people to think I’m a Juggalo. Hit the jump for the *slash* OH GOD PLEASE TELL ME THAT PART OF THE ACT.

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Pole Dancing Ninja Performs With A Sword

This is a picture of someone who’s been vacuum -packed. Sounds freaky deaky , I know. And that’s because it is freaky deaky . Apparently people like the way it feels. See? Those frozen chicken cutlets don’t have it so bad after all! There’s a video of a human vacuum-packing in action after the jump, and I’ve got to admit: I wouldn’t mind trying it. On you. Tell me, how do you feel about getting dumped in a river afterward? Hit the jump for one more shot, a video of the WTF’ery, as well as a NSFW link (some see-through) to Kink Engineering with even more ZOMGOODNESS.

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I’m Not Surprised (But Still Deeply Disturbed): A "Han Solo Frozen In Carbonite" Fetish

Earthquakes : they’re scary. Almost as scary as tornadoes . Did you know in the event of an earthquake you’re supposed to stand in a doorway? I didn’t. I thought you were supposed to stop drop and roll. OMG — I think my teacher was trying to kill me. Eff you Miss Gardner! Hag-bag! In anticipation of a 7.6 magnitude earthquake possibly hitting the city of Istanbul by 2030, an MA design student named Younghwa Lee from Kingston’s University has designed a special kind of door that protects residents from falling quake debris. Designed to ensure safety and reduce injury or death, the door folds horizontally in the middle, while the bottom part remains braced against the floor for support. The door frame has a built-in cabinet that contains a wind-up flashlight, containers of drinking water and medical supplies to ensure immediate medical aid before medics arrive in case of injury. Smart thinking, Younghwa. Granted nobody is gonna be thinking clear enough to actually use one in the event of an earthquake (”EARTHQUAKE — Fold the doors, fold the doors!”) but smart thinking nonetheless. Also smart thinking: hang-gliding out the nearest window. “But my office is underground.” Ouch . Knock knock. Who’s there? An earthquake. An earthqua– GAAAAHH! Specially designed door shelters people against falling earthquake debris [thedesignblog] Thanks to Matt, who just cries in the bathtub like a normal person. With or without bubbles?

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New Door Helps Prevent Injury During Quakes

GIANT SQUIDS ARE GIANT. How giant ? Try 8-feet long and 100 pounds of pure, unadulterated (okay, slightly adulterated) killing machine . I’m never going to another (nude) beach again! Millions of killer giant squid are not only devouring vast amounts of fish they have even started attacking humans. Two Mexican fishermen were recently dragged from their boats and chewed so badly that their bodies could not be identified even by their own families. No wonder the giant squid are called “diablos rojos” - red devils. Since 2002, Humboldt giant squid, named after the 18th century German explorer, have been spreading their tentacles to deplete fishing stocks by moving from their traditional tropical hunting grounds off Mexico and laying claim to a vast sweep of the Pacific. Hunting in 1,000-strong packs the giant squid can out-swim and out-think fish. Scientists believe they coordinate attacks by using pigment cells to communicate. See? I told you we should have filled the oceans with concrete. Now we’re all as good as dead. Except me, because my rocketship is near completion and I’m getting the f*** out of here. And by getting the f*** out of here I obviously mean exploding on the launchpad, but whatever, the point is I’m gone. MAN EATING GIANT SQUID DEVOURING FISH STOCKS [express] (I love your jeans!) Thanks to Lauren!, who’s convinced they’re actually aliens from another planet. You know what? I think you’re onto something. Possibly drugs.

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Giant Squids Depleting Fish Populations, Now Turning Their Hungry Tentacles To Humans