If there’s one thing I don’t want to give birth to it’s a giant spider . If there’s two it’s a giant spider and a superhero . No thank you amirite?! Ain’t no “strength of 100-men” baby tearing out of this vagina like there’s a bank robbery in progress. Unless I was so hopped up on meds I thought it was all a hallucination and I could later exploit my little freak for financial gain, in which case, yes, I would do that. This is a series of superhero embryos by an unknown artist on display at the HEY! art show in Paris. They…are wearing costumes. A little unorthodox for an embryo, I know, but I was born with a spacesuit on so I guess anything is possible. EXCEPT perpetual motion. That shit’s a no-go. Hit the jump for six more superbabies.

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Superhero Embryos: Would NOT Want To Birth

They look f***in’ delicious. These freaky-ass ‘Transylvanian Naked Neck Chickens’ (yes, really) are chickens with a genetic mutation that gives them turkey-like necks. Or did one bang a giraffe? I’m on to you, Old MacFrankenstein! The scientists said the effects of the genetic mutation were enhanced by a vitamin A-derived substance produced around the bird’s neck. This causes a protein, BMP12, to be produced, suppressing feather growth and causing the bird to have its bald neck, according to researchers at the Roslin Institute at Edinburgh University. The team said the findings could help poultry production in hot countries because chickens with naked necks were better equipped to withstand the heat. You know what other kind of chicken is better equipped to withstand the head? Nuggets. Seriously, they actually taste better if you cook them instead of just sucking on them frozen. But not by much! Experts unravel ‘churkey’ appearance mystery [bbcnews] via Meet the weird bird that’s half-chicken, half-turkey [io9] Thanks to kelly, who wants to know if they’ll still run around for awhile if you cut their heads off. THEY BETTER!

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Freaky Chicken/Turkey ‘Churkey’ Mutants

That’s not actually a griffin. I think it’s a cat ass with chicken legs and an eagle’s head . Still, it does look like one though. And if anybody came over for dinner you could probably convince them it’s one. Oooooooor threaten to poison their drink and lock them in the basement, depending on your approach to dinner parties. Me? I usually pass out drunk before the guests arrive and never hear the doorbell. The fire alarm when the stove catches fire, yes. Sarina Brewer is a taxidermist that specializes in stuffed mythical and otherwise freaky beasts. For example, hit the jump for a shot of ‘Frankenpussy’, a cat dressed up like Frankenstein with an eye-patch, peg-leg and smoking a cigar. Wow, that ninth life’s a doozie! Ha, and Fluffy was worried about dying in vain. Hit the jump for Frankenstein cat and a link to Sarina’s website that made me a little too uneasy to surf around looking for more pictures.

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Stuffed Griffins? Mummified Cat Paw Earrings? We’ve Got Those: Custom Creature Taxidermy

This is a video of a gorilla at the Port Lympne Wild Animal Park in Kent, England that likes to walk around like a human. Now I’m not saying this guy is obviously the missing link evolutionists have been looking for, but I’m also not saying he isn’t. But what I AM saying is just between you and I, so if you tell anybody I’ll kill you. My grundle has a face. Hit the jump to see your great-great-great-great-grandfather in action.

Excerpt from:
The Missing Link: Gorilla Stands Up And Walks Like A Human (NOT An Egyptian)

Note: The additional (high-res) shots of the facility can be seen HERE , HERE and HERE . These are super-secret spy shots taken from inside Apple’s $100 million iPhone testing facility. Okay so they’re not actually secret, Apple released them today . Unless you wanna pretend they’re super-secret spy shots, in which case that spy was me and I did that shit James Bond style plus a bunch of voluptuous-ass womens afterward. No, no I didn’t either. I accidentally shot myself in the leg Plaxico Burress style and was propositioned by a toothless whore on the bus ride to Cupertino. Me being a much classier version of Bond aside, it’s sad as shit when your $100 million testing facility releases a phone that loses its signal when you hold it wrong. Just sayin’, you could have tested that shit in my closet. Apple’s Antenna Design and Test Labs [apple] Thanks to the blue batter, Christopher and Jessica, who all have assistants who hold their phones for them and won’t hesitate to fire them if they drop a call (or the phone in a toilet).

The rest is here:
No Cameras Beyond This Point: A Peak Inside Apple’s $100 Million iPhone Testing Facility