These custom painted Metal Gear Solid shoes were made by UCLA student and artist Jacob Patterson (no relation to Robert Pattinson) and shown off at the E3 convention. I want like four for each foot . You know, because I have big feet. Ladies, that wink was for you. He is apparently going to talk with Kojima and team to discuss the possibility of mass-producing these shoes via the Puma brand. So if things go well expect to be able to buy these at a store near you sometime in the future! Well I usually only wear flip flips and aqua socks, but I’d make an exception for these bad boys. And speaking of bad boys — I’ve been one lately. Now which one of you lovely ladies wants to ride on my motorcycle . And by motorcycle I mean lawn mower. And by ‘ride on’ I mean cut the backyard. Any takers? Come on — I’ll make lemonade! Hit the jump for two closeups.

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I Want: These Custom Metal Gear Solid Shoes

These are bacon loafers by Keds. They are fully customizable by choosing different colors for the thread, elastic, midsole, etc., and will set you back $60 (I made these ones as bacon-y as possible and if you argue that I should have made the elastic red instead of pink you’re wrong, pink is the color of raw bacon and I love it). Unfortunately, it appears they’re only available in women’s sizes (because women love sizzling meat — am I right, girls?), which is a problem seeing how I’m a size 12 *wink* . Long story short, I’m sawing all my toes off. Product Site Thanks to naas, who doesn’t need to buy a woman bacon shoes to get his meat around her feet. YOW YOW!

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Fried Footwear: Mmmm, Bacon Loafers