I thought the whole one ring quote in the title was kind of appropriate because it’s finger art . And where do you wear rings? “I’ve got one stuck on my penis and I’m freaking out!” HA — been there, done that. Just think about Gollum until you’re limp then slip it off. These are some custom fingernail paintings by DeviantARTist Undomiele entitled ‘Enter Mordor’. At first I thought they were just digital, but there’s a video of her actually painting them after the jump. Granted you probably shouldn’t watch it because it’s entirely out of focus, but it is there for you nonbelievers. Me? I’m here for you true believers. Now on the count of three I want you to all drink your Kool-Aid. Hit the jump for the video if you’re interested. WARNING: Mostly out of focus.

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One Ring To Rule Them All: ‘Enter Mordor’ Finger Art

The TouchFire is a clear silicon “tactile’ keyboard cover for use with an iPad so you can touch-type without looking with better speed and accuracy. It’s a Kickstarter project developed by Steve Isaac and Brad Melon Lemon Melmon, but already at almost 3x its initial financial goal. Mostly because everyone who’s ever typed on an iPad invented this exact same thing in their head but were too lazy to manufacture them. Thankfully, I at least managed to sketch out a product design a couple months ago, so I might actually stand a chance of scoring some royalties. “This…is a bar tab with a stick figure doodle of a woman with giant boobs.” Let me see that! OMG — she’s gonna break her back with those things! Hit the jump for the way-too-long Kickstarter video and a link to the donate page ($45 gets you one when the come out. That’s right — $45 for a piece of molded silicon and a couple magnets. Who do these guys think they are, Apple?!).

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I Invented That!: Screentop iPad Keyboards

This is a line of $20 magnetic nail polishes from Nails Inc. Gosh, I feel like such a sassy lil lady even talking nail polish with you girls! Basically it’s nail paint with iron powder in it (also great for anemic nail-biters) that a magnet can be used to make designs in while still wet. Sure you could just have a professional paint you some designs (or you could buy crackle polish!), but then what would we do when we’re all sitting around in our PJ’s talking about boys? OMG girls — what I wouldn’t do to give Magneto a HJ with this polish on, amirite?! Tehehehehehe! *wig falls off, girls screaming* CODE RED, MAGNETO — RENDEZVOUS AT THE SAFEHOUSE! Hit the jump for a video demonstration and link to product site.

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For The Ladies: Magnetic Fingernail Polish

But I wasn’t! Multi-Touch For the second time, Apple was denied a trademark for the term ‘ multi-touch ‘ by the US Patent and Trademark Office after the Appeal Board upheld the original rejection. God, move on bro — she doesn’t want you! For trademarks, “the greater the degree of descriptiveness the term has, the heavier the burden to prove it has attained secondary meaning.” The trademark attorney pointed out that the term “multitouch” has taken on generic meaning, being used by a wide variety of publications to describe the touchscreen technology on Android phones, tablets, and notebooks. Awwww, don’t cry Apple. You and I both know you were just being greedy anyways. You know what you need to do? Come up with an ever cooler term to describe your multi-touch and trademark that. Fingergangbang. Also, that wasn’t free Holler at my Paypal, son! Apple Denied Trademark for Multi-Touch [macrumors] Thanks to Mitchel and Dan, who both claim they’ve multi-touched hooters before but I suspect Dan’s only brushed up against one with an elbow by accident (it’s cool, I know him IRL).

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REJECTED: Apple’s ‘Multi-Touch’ Trademark

Google was recently awarded a patent for this ’see with your hand’ device, a glove with a fingertip camera/sensors that would allow you to ’see’ what your fingers do (SPOILER: boogers) or control a computer with hand gestures. *flipping the bird, computer downloads virus* “[W]hen a small object is lost, for example, underneath a couch, humans naturally put their hands under the couch to locate the lost object by touch,” the filing says. “While gathering information by touch is in some cases an acceptable substitute for seeing, in many situations it may be desirable to ’see’ the inaccessible environment to better gather information.” Sure you could use a Google Powerglove to retrieve lost Cheetos from under the couch, or — OR — you could use a flashlight and crouch down to look under there with your own two eyes. “YAAAAR — RUDE THIS WRITER IS RUDE.” Sorry — or your own one eye if you’re a pirate. Sweet hook, Captain Emotional. Google patents a glove for ’seeing with your hand’ [geekwire] via Google Patents Glove For “Seeing With Your Hand” [slashdot] Thanks to Thaylor, who’s praying this is NOT the future of p0rn.

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You Will Never Be A Powerglove!: Google’s Recent ‘See With Your Hand’ Patent

This is a gallery of a bunch of bling created by jeweler nOir for DC Comics . That’s the Gotham City ring there, but there’s a ton of other stuff after the jump. They’ve got all sorts of rings , bracelets and necklaces and prices range from ~$50 to several hundred depending on the piece. No, I’m not getting paid to post this. Most of it blows. See? Just kidding, it’s actually alright, particularly the Catwoman and Wonder Woman stuff. The Supergirl stuff sucks though but I’m pretty sure Shaq just bought it all anyways so no biggie. Hit the jump for 16 more pieces from the collections in this order: Batgirl, Catwoman, Supergirl and Wonder Woman. Oh, plus a bonus t-rex ring they make that it’s not too late to buy me for Christmas.

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A Gallery For The Ladies: DC Comics Jewelry

This is a cute geeky chick with lightsaber finger tattoos . Impressive. Just a heads up though: you gotta be careful with those things. Because I used to have one myself. Sent my girlfriend’s vajayjay to the emergency room. Picture Thanks to Jessie, who got samurai sword finger tats and never uses scissors.

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Dangerous Handshake: Lightsaber Fingers

The Gear Ring from Kinekt has functional gears in the middle that allow the bezel to rotate . And that’s pretty much it. No lasers or anything. They’re available in US sizes 9-12 for $165, and may need to be oiled from time to time. Not unlike the Tin Man! Who, fun fact: is not a robot. Don’t get me wrong, I’d still crush his ass on my face like an empty beer can, he just isn’t a robot. No laughing, Lion, you’re next. Hit the jump for a video of the ring in action (with bonus sausage pinky at 0:17!).

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Finger Candy: Gear Ring Turns, That’s About It

This is a tattoo of Pac-Man gobbling his way across somebody’s knuckles . At first I thought it was just done in pen , but after an extensive Photoshop investigation I came to the conclusion that I didn’t care and I’m posting it anyway. BOOYA! Pedantic Title: There Was No Dark Blue Ghost [ugliesttattoos] Thanks to Cinderella, whose glass slippers were actually diamond but she didn’t want to tell anybody that because they might have tried to rob her.

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You Gobble Those Knuckles!: Pac-Man Tattoo

This is somebody’s false fingernails that photobucket user nailchick27 painted with a Super Mario Bros. 3 theme. As you can see, they’re good looking . I can’t say for certain I’d date a girl with nails like that (because I wouldn’t), but I would let her give me a back scratch. Harder. Go on, harder. HARDER. DO IT TILL YOU SEE RIBS! Now smoke a rack, I’m getting hungry. Hit the jump for one more shot of the whole set.

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Scratch Meeeeee!: Super Mario Fingernails