This is a video of Russian archer Iza Privezenceva blasting arrows at a rate of around one per second and, for the most part, hitting her target…which was a rug and not a poseable foam orc like I was hoping. Impressive, Iza — BUT CAN YOU DO THIS?! *firing arrow* “Shoot a man through the eyeball with an apple on his head?” Haha, is that what happened? I’m not wearing my contacts. Hit the jump for Quick Draw McGraw in action.

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Um, Legolas…Is That Your Sister?: Quick Fire Archery

Your trunk and license plate: they’re doing it wrong. This is a video of some guy crashing his kit-car Cobra at 130MPH on a racetrack . He survived with only minor injuries to a knee and some bruised ribs. Pluuuuuus… “Plus what?” Admit it! “Admit what?” Admit you shit your pants too! “I didn’t though!” *BRAAAAAAAAP, squirt* Oh shi-shi. “What the f***?!” See bro? Everybody does it — now just admit it. Hit the jump for the please keep your arms in the vehicle at all times.

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130-MPH Race Car Crash From The Inside

This is a video of a modern slot car race, and let me tell you — it probably should’ve been shot with a high-speed camera . Me? I probably should’ve been shot with a rifle. You can see two cars going by in the bottom portion of the screencap I took, and they just look like little blurs . Kind of like my face right now. *shaking head* “Why are you doing that?” I’ll look ugly if I stop! “Well you’re vomiting.” Does it look handsome?! “No, it looks like cereal.” Haha, that’s cat food. Hit the jump for the video, but the action doesn’t start till 0:55. Green car flies off the track around 1:08.

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Zoom Zoooooom!: Modern Slot Car Races Are FAST

This is a timelapse of a 30-story, state of the art hotel being built in China in a meager 15-days. Wow. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t stay there. Get it? I don’t have the money for a hotel! I’ll sleep in the rental. Constructed in Dongting Lake in Hunan province, the hotel is 170,000 square feet and can withstand a 9.0 earthquake reports Treehugger. According to the International Business Times, the prefabricated modules were put together in a factory and then placed on steel structures at the construction site. The Chinese company behind the speedy design and building is Broad Group, a firm which previously built the 15-story Ark Hotel in Changsha, China, in just six days. Meh, I built a 30-story LEGO tower in a single weekend once. “And what happened to it?” WTF do you think happened — it collapsed before I was finished. Then I used the pieces to make a relatively anatomically correct LEGO woman. “Why?” I dunno, but if she tries to tell you that baby is mine she’s lying! Hit the jump for the video, but feel free to skip around. WTF do I care? I don’t. About anything . I’m battling depression. :/

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Timelapse Of 30-Story Building Built In 15 Days

Seen here giving the camera their best serious but cool, MIT researchers Andreas Velten and Ramesh Raskar pose in front of a Coke bottle filled with highlighter fluid or something. I don’t know, physics and I don’t always get along. That’s how I’m able to levitate . Just kidding, it’s magnets and wires. Anyway, these two studs have developed a means of capturing shots at 1/1,000,000,000,000th of a second, enabling photography of the movement of light itself. SU-SU-SU-SCIENCE!: Basically, nanosecond laser pulses are shone on an object. In front of the camera is a narrow slit, so that only a thin slice of the laser light can be seen at one time — the technical name for this device is a “streak camera.” The laser pulses, with very complex timing circuitry, are then picked up by an array of 500 sensors in the camera — but only one “scan line” at a time (thanks to the narrow slit). Using mirrors, the camera’s angle of view is changed over time until each of these one-dimensional slices can be built up into a complete 2D image. This process, which takes about an hour, has led to one of its creators — Ramesh Raskar — to dub this trillion-FPS wonder “the world’s slowest fastest camera.” There’s a video of the two creators explaining the technology after the jump that I was *this close* to being able to wrap my head around. Get it? Because my head is long like a jump rope. One time I even tripped a purse-snatcher, then used my head to tie him to a light pole until the cops arrived. True story 100% lies. Hit the jump and get your laser light photography show on.

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MIT Develops A ‘Trillion Frames Per Second’ Camera

This is Traxxas’ new 1/7-scale electric XO-1, the first ready-to-run (no assembly required) R/C car capable of doing a real (not scale) 100MPH fresh out of the box . But you’re gonna need an actual raceway to drive the thing, because a Wal-Mart parking lot isn’t gonna cut it at 100MPH. The speed demon goes 0-60 in 2.3 seconds and 100 in 4.92. That’s…pretty fast . So fast you probably won’t even see it hit the wall. It costs $1,100 and requires an iPhone or iPod Touch to plug into the controller to unlock its 100MPH potential and provide a real-time tuning/data-tracking utility. Oh man, all this R/C car talk is really taking me back. My brother Frank and I used to build them from kits growing up. His were always turned out badass, but mine…mine never seemed to work. “Because you’re an idiot.” My brother Frank, ladies and gentlemen! Hit the jump for a video of the thing being demoed on an actual racetrack.

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R/C Car Does 100MPH Right Out Of The Box

Something traveling faster than light itself?! Einstein is spinning in his grave! Jk jk, he was cremated and his ashes scattered. But scientists at CERN (as in, I’m conCERNed about the wack-ass experiments you’re always conducting!) claim they’ve detected subatomic neutrinos traveling faster than the speed of light’s 299,792,458 meters/second. LIES! Neutrinos sent through the ground from Cern toward the Gran Sasso laboratory 732km away seemed to show up a tiny fraction of a second early. The result - which threatens to upend a century of physics - will be put online for scrutiny by other scientists. “We tried to find all possible explanations for this,” said report author Antonio Ereditato of the Opera collaboration. “We wanted to find a mistake - trivial mistakes, more complicated mistakes, or nasty effects - and we didn’t,” he told BBC News. Pfft, let me take a look at these so-called “results”. *examining* HA — right here, Antonio — you forgot to carry the 3! I swear, scientists these days. Speed-of-light experiments give baffling result at Cern [bbcnews] Thanks to joshua m., regular Josh, Rob, jordan (that’s three J tipsters!) and Candice, who are all smart enough to know the only thing that could possibly be faster than light is darkness. Know what I’m sayin’? I’m sayin’ nighttime is the righttime.

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Scientists Claim They’ve Detected Neutrinos Traveling Faster Than The Speed Of Light

Police in Vancouver, British Columbia impounded 13 exotic sports cars after their drivers decided to race them to dinner on the highway at speeds in excess of 120MPH. No word on what restaurant they were going to, but that shit must be f***in’ goooooooood. What the racers, who police said are all under age 21 , won’t get is harsh punishment. “Each driver will be charged with Driving without Reasonable Consideration and receive a violation ticket with a specified penalty of $196. Additionally, these drivers will be responsible for all associated towing and storage charges,” according to the RCMP press release. That’s because police didn’t actually catch them in the act and acted only on witness accounts. They weren’t caught on radar, video or seen by a police officer, Superintendent Norm Gaumont, RCMP officer in charge of traffic enforcement for the Lower Mainland, told the Surrey Now newspaper. The cars: 2007 Ferrari 599 2010 Lamborghini Gallardo 2010 Lamborghini Gallardo 2009 Lamborghini Gallardo 2009 Audi R8 2012 Nissan GT-R 2010 Nissan GT-R 2010 Nissan GT-R 2010 Maserati Turismo 2010 Maserati Turismo 2011 Mercedes SL63 2011 Mercedes SLS 2005 Aston Martin DB9 Whoa whoa whoa — THEY WERE ALL UNDER 21?! God I hate rich, spoiling parents. You know why? Because they raise dickweeds . Me? I’m a vaginaflower. Like something straight out of a Georgia O’Keefe painting. Still, I can’t help but feel bad for the kids driving the 2010 GT-R’s. I mean come on, those things are only worth like $70K now. HAHA — YOUR PARENTS ARE POOR AND DON’T LOVE YOU! Kidding, KIDDING (but only about the poor part). Police grab $2 million worth of cars after Canadian street race [cnn] Thanks to comfort eagle, always so relaxing to watch soaring high, high up in the sky.

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$2M In Sports Cars Impounded After 2 Fast ‘N Furious Canadians Street Race To Dinner

Fun for the whole family! (except children under 48″) This is a picture of Japan’s new Takabisha roller coaster at the Fuji-Q (NOT Suzie-Q) Highland amusement park near Mount Fuji. It features a 121-degree drop so, not only will you be ejected from your seat, but hit by the coaster car afterward . You hear that, Disneyland?! There’s a new happiest place on earth AND IT’S CALLED HEAVEN. …the Takabisha roller coaster boasts the world’s steepest freefall: A gut-melting 121 degrees capable of inducing g-force levels equivalent to those experienced by fighter pilots. The 141-foot, 62mph drop is merely the cherry that tops a 2-mile-long roller coaster cake filled with seven major twists and turns Count me in — I f***ing looooooove puking. Helps remind me I’m alive. Also, that I boozed as hard as I could. GO BIG OR GO HOME! Ooooooooor to the hospital to get my stomach pumped. That charcoal taste is growing on me. Hit the jump for two videos of the dizziness. The first from the ground, the second from the front seat. Now I don’t feel so good.

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Blowing Chunks:121-Degree Rollercoaster Fall

Oh shi-shi. I love how in the video he keeps grabbing where it used to be like a new one’s gonna magically appear or something. Because, SPOILER: it’s not going to. Just like starfish tentacles, steering wheels do not grow back. “But GW — starfish tentacles do grow back.” Oh really? Then why didn’t this one? “That’s your penis.” Ahhhhhhhhh. I’ve heard a lot about these things. Hit the jump for the short but comical video.

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Steering Wheel Breaks Off During Drag Race