Want a poster-size print of yourself riding a dinosaur ? Of course you do, it’s like every child’s grown man’s dream. Well it is mine at least. And now thanks to Dinoprints, you won’t have to do the Photoshopping yourself! $50 gets a 24″ x 36″ print of yourself riding a t-rex , spinosaurus or wooly mammoth, with more dinosaur options on the way. You just take a picture of yourself in the proper straddling pose, upload it, and Dinoprints takes care of the rest. “You’re gonna make it look like you’re banging one, aren’t you?” Pfft — please . I’m gonna make it look like I’m banging two. Hit the jump for a gallery of the possibilities. You can even use a pet!

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Yes!: Poster-Size Prints Of You Riding A Dinosaur

Jason Giddings’ Kickstarter project to develop multi-touch glass keyboards and mice has been fully funded and he expects to have them to market as early as April of next year. You can still donate $250 for a keyboard , $150 for a mouse or $350 for both though. Or you can just ogle the designs and think to yourself how nice it would be to have a keyboard that pubes can’t get stuck between the keys of. Come on — you bathroom laptop users know what I’m talking about! “I’m completely shaven.” Whoa — TMI, bro! Hit the jump for a shot of the mouse and a brief video.

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Glass Multi-Touch Keyboard & Mouse Coming Soon

I actually posted The Deli Garage’s food spraypaint last year , but that was before they were advertising the shit WITH GOLDEN CHICKENS . Which — you think they lay golden eggs? God, where were you on this, McDonalds? Just think: “Strike it rich in taste this fall with our all-new golden nuggets !” That one was free, the rest are gonna cost you….IN McRIBS. The tasteless (both kinds!) paint comes in gold, silver, pink and blue and costs $35 a can. Wait — $35 A CAN?! Craft glitter it is. Hit the jump for a couple more delicious-looking metallic treats and a link to the product page.

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No Longer Just Huffable: Edible Spraypaint

Seen here looking suspiciously like the Batamaran (see what I did there? I combined bat and catamaran) I drew for part of my Bat-fan fiction (I’m doing it again!) graphic novel, Juliet Marine’s ‘Ghost’ stealth boat makes an appearance off the coast of New England. It floats on a layer of gas generated beneath it to reduce friction and cruise faster, up to 60MPH. Unless an engine’s leaking, then it floats on a layer of oil and dead birds. :/ Gregory Sancoff, president and chief executive officer of Juliet Marine, said the U.S. government is interested and his company is working with a defense contractor to build a 150-foot model. The friction reducing gas technology, called supercavitation, works by generating a low-pressure zone around the ship’s surface. The Ghost keeps a low radar profile the same way stealth planes do, by making the radar waves bounce off of its surface. Admittedly, I would captain one of those. And, okay, probably straight into a pier. Get it? Because it’s so stealth . I f***ing forgot I was even driving a boat! “Stealth” Boat Could Revolutionize Naval Warfare [nbcnews] Thanks to Jeff and Ferris, who agree the stealthiest boat isn’t a boat at all — it’s a sub. $5 footlongs FTW.

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Look Out Batboat, There’s A New Stealth Boat In Town! (Or, Okay, International Waters)

Excuse me if I’m writing this while I puke in my shoes but I mean, c’mon, a guy can only take so much . Chick looks like she’s wearing my shower drain around her neck. The human hair necklace…is made by artist Kerry Howley who wants to “make discarded hair attractive again.” NEWS FLASH, KERRY HOWLEY: I don’t know what 17th century castle dungeon you just crawled out of but discarded hair was never attractive in the first place. “Fingernail clippings?” Go — just go. Hit the jump for three others in case this one wasn’t disgusting enough for you.

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Waaaaaay Too Pubey For Me: Hair Necklaces

Alright folks, I have IN MY POSSESSION three Tokyoflash Kaidoku word-watches to give away (one white & purple, two black & blue). All you have to do to enter is leave a comment in the comments section and include a valid email address (in the email address box dummy, not in your actual comment!). ONE ENTRY PER EMAIL ADDRESS . Contest ends Tuesday, July19th at 9:00PM Pacific. Winners will be chosen via random number generator and, if I see you entered more than once with the same address, not only will you be disqualified, but I’ll send a surly man to break your legs backwards with a baseball bat . Shit, he might even steal your XBox! Craigslist hires: they’re unpredictable. Good luck (you’re gonna need it). Official Tokyoflash Product Site Geekologie Contest Rules

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FREE SWAG!: Tokyoflash Kaidoku Giveaway

Forget my ultimate shoe, I want a pair of those! Seen here looking way too much like a shoe bomb to not be one, ForceShoes were designed to record every movement of a victim’s foot to determine the severity of impairment following a stroke. But now they want to use them to make you THE ULTIMATE PAIR OF SNEAKERS . *slam-dunks Subway napkin I’ve been using to pick boogers all morning* The sandals are not a fully commercial product yet, but researchers from the University of Twente believe there is potential for applications other than medicine. For example, SmartShoes could be used in the area of ergonomics. “You can use the shoe to form an objective impression of the physical burden placed on people in their work situation. This is something that insurance companies are very interested in”, says Prof. Peter Veltink, who leads the research group behind the device. Other possible applications include analyzing performances of top-level athletes or other sportsmen. Sure researchers could do that, or we could just all commit to only wearing sandals. You know, LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE hippies. Speaking of which — did I ever tell you I used to date a chick who never shaved her armpits? Of course not, I WAS EMBARRASSED. Hit the jump for one more shot of the shoes on in case you were wondering what kind of accessories they might go with. SPOILER: Velcro calf-bands.

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Goofy Sandal Records Your Every Move In A Quest To Build You THE ULTIMATE SHOE

This is a short video of a house in the Haight-Ashbury neighborhood (of hey man, got any acid? fame) in San Francisco with a secret garage door that opens out of a couple seemingly boring windows, making it that much easier to accidentally park your car in a neighbor’s basement. This apartment building in the Haight-Ashbury neighborhood of San Francisco has recently been remodeled to include four precious car parking spaces while maintaining the historical Victorian facade. Damn, that’s one hell of an improvement FOR AN APARTMENT BUILDING. I’ve been waiting seven months for the landlord to replace the exhaust fan in my bathroom. You know how embarrassing it is knowing your friends can hear you busting ass when you’re on the can? No seriously, I’m asking — I’ve never had friends over. I tried inviting a pizza delivery guy in one time but he was all “no homo” and I was all “DOUBLE SAUSAGE!” Hit the jump and be impressed. Obviously still needs a touch up though.

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Clever, Veeeery Clever: Hidden Garage Door

Want a wedding band created using the same ‘mokume gane’ technique as authentic samurai swords ? You’re in luck! But also out of luck because you’re getting married . There’s only one way out of this: I’m gonna have to cut your ring finger off. Ready? HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YA! *you bleeding* Perfect, looks like I got it right above the knuckle. Now let’s do the left hand. Mokume gane is…a metal working technique developed in Japan approximately three to four hundred years ago, in which two or more layers of metal are permanently joined together in alternating layers to form a stack (or billet). In the traditional Japanese technique the bond was achieved by diffusion welding of the layers in a charcoal forge. On this laminated billet patterns of the different colored alloys were created by a combination of cutting, twisting, and forging of the laminate in ways to expose the various layers. The patterned billet was then formed into finished work by applying standard forging and fabrication techniques. No word on price, but you know what they say, “If you have to ask, you’re obviously poor and security’s watching on CCTV to make sure you don’t steal anything.” Quick, pocket some throwing stars and run! James Binnion Metal Works Product Site via I’d Like My Ring Samurai Style [gizmodo] Thanks to Jake, who agrees the ring is definitely less mighty than the sword (the One Ring excluded of course).

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Just As Deadly: Samurai Sword Wedding Ring

The Dell Inspiron Duo: not only are it’s initials D.I.D., it’s a netbook and tablet all in one thanks to its unique swivel screen. Ten dollars says I break it the fist week. Fist week? I thought it was foot month! Boy, did Dell show just off the craziest device on stage at Intel’s IDF 2010 day two keynote. What started as a tablet device converted to a netbook just by opening to the keyboard and literally swiveling the screen from within the frame. This hybrid’s got a 10-inch screen, houses a dual-core Atom N550 and runs Windows 7 Premium…No price given and Dell isn’t providing us any more details, but it should be released by the end of this year. Damn, too bad I just hot-glued my iPad to my MacBook Air, amirite? Kidding, I don’t have an iPad or Macbook. What I do have is a library card, which entitles me to free computer use till 8PM. I’m bloggin’ from the berry, ya’ll! Dell’s Atom-powered Inspiron Duo: 10-inch netbook / tablet hybrid with a crazy swivel [engadget] Thanks to Marlene and christopher, who don’t like swivel stools because they get motion-sickness. Awh, bless your little vomity hearts.

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It’s A Netbook, It’s A Tablet, It’s A Transformer