Seen here looking exactly how I’d imagine a piece of shit internet troll would (okay, maybe a little older), Darren Burton (aka Facebook user Nimrod Severn), is confronted by a reporter about the offensive (and often racist) comments he leaves on the memorial pages of the recently deceased. Things go about how you’d expect considering Darren is a 41-YEAR OLD with nothing better to do than troll Facebook pages . Trolls, man — they’re why we can’t have nice things. They’re always hiding under their little bridge just waiting to ruin things for everybody who has to pass over them. God, how about you stop being such a nancy and crawl out from under that bridge AND SAY IT TO SOMEBODY’S FACE. “Fine, maybe I will.” Good! “I hate you and I ha…” HOOOOOOOOOOONK! *GW drives 18-wheeler straight through butthole like a mountain tunnel* Did somebody saying something? I had my trucker music up full blast. *peels out in a blaze of chrome mudflap girls* Hit the jump for the damn, just go die bro. Living to troll ain’t f***ing living.

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Reporter Tracks Down Notoriously Racist Internet Troll

This is a video of some idiot trying to run over his girlfriend in a truck after she ducks into a gas station for safety. He misses her, but manages to hit the owner after plowing though the entire store . But the excitement doesn’t stop there, oh no! Captain Roadkill then gets out of the truck, leaves the store, steals another woman’s SUV that was left at the pump, and tries to make a quick getaway BEFORE CRASHING HEAD-ON INTO A BREAD TRUCK because he didn’t look both ways. F***, even Michael Bay couldn’t even make an action scene this exciting! Get it? Because he sucks. Hit the jump for the there ought to be a special place for people like this. “Like prison?” Even specialer.

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Failure At Life Drives Truck Through Gas Station Trying To Run Over Girlfriend

Some moron decided it would be a good idea to attempt stealing holy gas from a church van. Only problem is, Jesus wasn’t having it . BURN HEATHEN, BUUUUURN! Blake King, 24, was reported in stable condition Wednesday in Vanderbilt University Hospital’s Burn Center. Evansville police report King was burned as he was using a cordless drill to drill into the gas tank of a 2001 Chevrolet van on the lot of Abundant Faith Church, 1228 Lodge Ave. Something sparked, according to the police report, catching the van on fire and burning King . The fire leaves the church without one of its two vans, which was supposed to help transport youth members to St. Louis this weekend. Officers arrived and found King, who told them he was burned when he stopped at 1228 Lodge Ave. to help another man who was on fire. Firefighters and fire investigators found a cordless drill next to the van. LOLWUT — cordless drilling a gas tank?!?! Let’s say you somehow managed to not set your dumbass on fire, what were you gonna do when the gas started flowing? Catch it in your mouth and spit it into a bucket? Okay that’s actually pretty good. Police: Man caught self on fire trying to steal gas from church van [courierpress] Thanks to Dakota, who tried electric drilling a dairy truck once and ended up with nothing but a milk mustache. I’m not gonna lie, you look handsome.

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Man Attempts Gas Theft From Church Van, Sets Himself, Van Ablaze

Melissa Catherine Smith-Means (she is too!), 37, of Gaylesville, Alabama, was arrested for child abuse after dragging her unisex child through a Verizon Wireless store using a kiddy- leash . As punishment, Melissa is going to be leashed and dragged down every aisle of a Best Buy. Just sayin’ — it’s Alabama, folks, they do things differently. Like talk and guns. I’ve lived there, I know . Woman Drags Child Through Verizon Store [techeblog] Thanks to trishna87 and gypsyking, who don’t drag anything but their feet. Seriously, stop being so lazy you two.

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You’re Doing It Wrong!: Woman Dragging Leashed Child Through A Verizon Store

Okay, this one is actually legit, but everything after the jump isn’t. They’re the kind of questions that make you want to bathe with a toaster (or SPOILER ALERT : poisonous jellyfish ). I assume some of them are fake, but I sadly guarantee a good portion are serious. And, well, *pouring out a little liquor* it’s been real, humanity. Hit it for a dozen or so of the worst questions ever asked.

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The Worst And Saddest Of Yahoo! Answers