In b4 ‘I’d do her’. NOTE: Two bad words at 0:45. This is a video of Madelaine Zammit (who looks suspiciously like a cross between Jewel and Leelee Sobieski — can science do that now? Can two womens have a baby?) singing a song about Facebook . It’s okay. The best parts are 1. her accent and 2. the song between 0:40 - 1:00. If you only have time to watch twenty seconds, watch those ones. If you only have ten seconds to watch, well, you’re working waaaaay too f***ing hard for a Friday. God, what’s next — NOT taking a nap after lunch?! Hit the jump for the video. BFF Geekologie on Facebook HERE.

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Australian Girl Singing Facebook Song

Facebook , which can’t even manage to function properly because of all the other worthless bullshit they’ve added to the site, has decided to drop another turd on the pile, this time in the form of ‘Tag Suggestions’, facial recognition software that, after your face has been identified once in a friend’s album, will search the remaining pictures trying to find you. Nice try Facebook — too bad I’m a ninja! *karate-kicks copier* Sarah Jacobsson Purewal, of PC World magazine, said: ‘Opting out won’t keep Facebook from gathering data and recognizing your face - it’ll just keep people from tagging you automatically.’ She also warns: ‘Facial recognition technology will ultimately culminate in the ability to search for people using just a picture. ‘And that will be the end of privacy as we know it–imagine, a world in which someone can simply take a photo of you on the street, in a crowd, or with a telephoto lens, and discover everything about you on the internet.’ Admittedly, that thought is kind of scary. Granted not as scary as the dream where your parachute doesn’t open or your teeth fall out, but still pretty bad. Well, at least to a normal person. You wanna talk about the REAL end of privacy? I’ve had to drop a deuce in a jail cell before with eight other dudes trying to pretend they aren’t watching — this is f***ing NOOOOOOOTHING. Geekologie on Facebook and Twitter Facebook now knows what you look like as it rolls out face recognition by stealth [dailymail] Thanks to Danielle and Tom, who don’t show their faces on Facebook for fear of ol’ Zuckerberg falling in love and online-stalking them. Haha, that reminds me of the time I online stalked myself to impress my friends. They weren’t.

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Facebook, Now With More Facial Recognition

According to a recent study, Facebook is visited more often than pr0n sites in the UK, indicating either 1. people are actually getting sexed in real life (unlikely) or 2. masturbate using only their imaginations. Haha, who hasn’t convinced themselves a cloud looks like a naked lady, amirite? The internet research company says that in January sites like Facebook accounted for 12.46% of all online traffic. That’s the equivalent of 2.4 billion hits or one eighth of all web visits. In comparison entertainment websites, including pornographic ones, accounted for 12.18% of traffic. It’s the first time social networking has overtaken entertainment in terms of popularity. Of those, social network site Facebook accounted for more than half, or 56%, of visits. Whoa whoa whoa — but Geekologie is an entertainment website! You can’t just go lumping it into a category filled with smut. “Why, because it’s worse than smut?” What the — I am insulted! “Really?” No, not at all. But sometimes I do like to pretend I’m a classy lady. *drinking with pinkie-finger raised* Oh butler — be a doll and fetch my pearls and Summer’s Eve vajay-spray, will you? Facebook more popular than porn for UK users [bbcnews] and Geekologie on Facebook (why not?) Thanks to TK 745, who’s convinced he saw a steamy lesbian scene in a bonfire once. Damn! What kind of firewood did you use?

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Facebook More Popular Than Pr0n In The UK

Proving that the Geekologie fanpage’s precious status updates might not be as safe as previously thought, an unknown hacker took control of Mark Zuckerburg’s official Facebook fanpage this week, probably by guessing his password, “administrator”. Good one Mark, but I would’ve gone with “IOWNTHISBITCH111″. Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg’s fan page was hacked Tuesday — a high-profile breach on a site that constantly faces scrutiny about its handling of its members private data. “It’s not clear if he was careless with his password, was phished, or sat down in a Starbucks and got sidejacked while using an unencrypted wireless network,”….”However it happened, it’s left egg on his face just when Facebook wants to reassure users that it takes security and privacy seriously.” While the method of attack is still unclear, it’s crystal clear that Mark Zuckerburg has 2,836,752 more Facebook fans than Geekologie, making me question my entire existence. WTF DOES HE HAVE THAT I DON’T?! “Hepatitis?” You said it not me! Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook page hacked [cnn] and Geekologie’s Presence on the Faceybooks Thanks to Evil Ares, who, while certainly evil, isn’t ‘hack-a-Facebook-fanpage’ evil. Good to know.

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Why Am I Not Surprised?: Mark Zuckerberg’s Official Facebook Fanpage Gets Hacked

Really? I thought it was for idiot-morons. I unfriended and blocked everyone on my Facebook buddy-list that plays that shit a long time ago. It was like 200 people. What?! I know a lot of moms ! Amazon Product Site via Things That Are Real of the Day [thedailywh.at] Thanks to Nick, who left Mafia Wars for Farmville and made a New Year’s resolution to leave Farmville for living a real f***ing life. I’m holding you to it, Nick.

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Sadly A Real Book: ‘Farmville For Dummies’

Note: Full-res version of the chart available HERE . I don’t really care if you friend your parents on Facebook or not but you should join the GEEKOLOGIE FAN PAGE to receive up to the minute details on my drinking. That said, you should never friend your parents on Facebook unless they’re not savvy enough to realize you put them on the most restricted profile possible. I’m talking like nothing is clickable and a profile picture doesn’t even show up. Because the last thing you want to do is hurt your parents’ feelings. They did make you after all. Mistakenly, but still. Flowchart: Should You Friend Your Parents on Facebook? [coolmaterial] via Should You Accept Mom & Dad’s Facebook Friend Request? [mashable] Thanks to Fally, who told her parents she forgot her Facebook password and doesn’t use it anymore. Good one!

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Should You Friend Your Parents On Facebook — The Flow Chart (SPOILER: No, Never)

Living in LA, I’m no stranger to the homeless . Like, literally — they’re my kind of people: crazy as f*** and willing to piss on anything . That said, dude you got a Dell ! I would have opted for a refrigerator box , but hey, to each their own. One time I traded a clove to a bum for a cupped handful of cognac. True story. He May Be Homeless, But At Least He Has Facebook [gizmodo] Thanks to zombiepartz, who once gave a bum $4 and told him to spend it all on booze. I do the same!

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Bookmark Geekologie!: Homeless Computing

Facebook just announced they’re jacking up the maximum size of photos you can upload from 720 pixels to 2048. What does this mean? It means your photos can now be 8x as large. Geez, it’s not rocket surgery. I had to get my mom to sign me into AOL this morning and even I understand it. There’s also gonna be a new and improved photo viewer and easier tagging and uploading as well. Barrel roll! So expect higher-res shots of margaritas and pretty ladies appearing on the Geekologie Facebook page soon. And, if you’re really lucky, maybe one day I’ll post a picture of my sessy ass. Kidding folks, I’m ugly as sin. One time I uploaded a mirror shot of myself on Myspace and Tom unfriended me . Oh yeah? Screw you and your stupid whiteboard. YOU DON’T KNOW EQUATIONS! More Beautiful Photos [facebookblog] via Facebook Introduces High-resolution Photo Sharing [ubergizmo] and Geekologie on Facebook Thanks to Shannon, who looks great in high res unlike some of us . You guys, I’m talking about you guys.

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Oh Goody: Facebook Photos Now 8x Larger

Cups, get it? Like bras . Except the booboo looking strippers in the picture actually set beverage cups on the hood (which I wouldn’t stand for). They don’t call me hawk-eyes for nothing you know. Is that a Wendy’s next door? A South Carolina police officer feared his cop car was looking dirty, so he took it to a stripper-sponsored “Tits n Tats” car wash to get his cruiser shined. There are pictures. They ended up on Facebook. He got fired. “I think he took his personal car there first and then he went in his police car,” Caldwell said. “I don’t think he was trying to be malicious. I think he used completely poor judgment.” Haha, he took his personal car and then came back for more in the cruiser. That’s hilarious. I would have just taken my personal car twice. Or — OR — stolen a car . Sure you miss out on the dash-cam footage, but that’s a small price to pay for being able to set it on fire later and blame on a drug cartel. Haha, what do you mean forensics found titty residue on the windshield? *whistling* Do Not Post Pictures of Strippers on the Hood of Your Cop Car on Facebook [gawker] and Geekologie’s Facebook Page (where I will continue to post boozy pics to my heart’s content) Thanks to Jessica, who isn’t one of the girls in the photo and boy is her dad happy about it.

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I Said No Cups On The Car!: Police Officer Takes Patrol Car To Strip Club Car Wash, Pictures Posted On Facebook, Officer Fired

Seen here using a remarkably small font for a 400-year old, Ivy Bean, the world’s oldest Twitter user, has passed away . Her tweets , and old-lady aroma, will be missed. From the two-story care home where she lived in the northern English city of Bradford, 104-year-old Ivy Bean would tell her nearly 57,000 Twitter followers around the world what she did each day — from eating fish and chips to sitting in the garden. Bean’s online activity drew headlines in recent years because of her age, and she had been called the world’s oldest Twitter user, though that is difficult to verify. She became a member of Facebook at age 102, but she quickly migrated to Twitter because it was easier, she said, and because she could have more followers. She had maxed out her friend limit on Facebook. Earlier this year, Bean tweeted that she had 25,000 pending friend requests. Wait — WHAT?! This ol’ lady had 25,000 Facebook friend requests and I have to sell my ass on the street like a f***ing hotdog vendor to get you to join the Geekologie Facebook page ? WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON’T?! Style and grace? Okay what else? Dentures? Pfft — you think I won’t knock all my teeth out?! Somebody gimme an ice-skate, I’m about to ‘Cast Away’ this shit. R.I.P. Ivy Ivy Bean, ‘world’s oldest Twitter user,’ dead at 104 [cnn] and The Geekologie Facebook Page , WHICH YOU WILL JOIN Thanks to DC_Dewd, who may or may not have cybered with her at some point (he says he did).

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Don’t Cry, Fail Whale: World’s Oldest Twitter User Passes Away At Ripe Old Age Of 104