Because humans shouldn’t be the only ones that get to share ultrasound pictures (your baby looks like a bean!) with their friends, somebody created a Facebook-y website for robots where they can share whatever sadness is going on in their pathetic existences. Sounds familiar! Geekologie Writer: No milk for my cereal, FML. Being a robot just got a little bit more sociable, now that droids have their own social network. At MyRobots.com, which launched today, robot owners can sign-up their automatons, create profiles for them - even include a photo and a name - and then leave them to update their own status. This might be a simple temperature reading - or the results of a clever face-recognition algorithm. But while Facebook is often criticised for emphasising the duller aspects of human life (”Bored. When can I go to the pub?” or “I need pizza”) , the exchange of seemingly mundane status updates between robots (”I am overheating and need a rest” or “I am a vacuum cleaner and I am stuck”) could make them a lot smarter. Wait — so Facebook for robots is actually making them smarter but Facebook for humans makes people f***ing retarded? Why do I get the feeling I’m getting the short end of the stick here? “That’s not a stick — it’s a robot peener .” SO COLD. Facebook for robots helps droids get smarter [newscientist] Thanks to Wilmersama, who I’m putting in charge of infiltrating the social network and collecting recon on what kinds of music these f***ers are listening to on Spotify.

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Wonderful: Robots Get Their Own Facebook

According to Facebook , there are only 4.74-degrees of separation between you and any other user on the planet, making our world that much smaller and natural resources that much scarcer. “That’s not how that works.” You shut up! “When considering even the most distant Facebook user in the Siberian tundra or the Peruvian rainforest, a friend of your friend probably knows a friend of their friend,” wrote the Facebook data team in a blog post explaining its research. [The average degrees of separation] used to be six. But thanks to the increasing popularity of social networking, humanity has become more connected over time. Where in 2008 the distance from any one Facebook user was, on average, 5.28 hops, it’s now 4.74, the company’s researchers said. First of all, there’s no such thing as a 0.74 degree of separation. You have to round that up to the next number unless Facebook is counting amputees in which they’re the most insensitive social network in the world. Not that we didn’t already know that . So yeah, there are only FIVE (5!) people separating you and I on Facebook. You know what that means? There are only five people we have to kill before we can be together . I’m gonna wear your skin like a windbreaker! Facebook Claims 4.74 Degrees of Kevin Bacon [foxnews] Thanks to LeftRightLeft, who, despite the name, is actually a terrible marcher. Can skip like nobody’s business though.

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We’re Practically Friends!: Only 4.74 Degrees Of Separation Between You And Any Other Facebooker

Facebook just got outed for including (non Girl Scout ) cookies that have the potential to track a user’s movement across the interwebs even when signed out of the site . I…feel violated. Get it? I just sat on a dog toy! When Australian programmer Nik Cubrilovic first blogged on Sunday about how Facebook logout didn’t seem to actually, uh, log out, the company went into damage control mode, insisting that “Facebook does not track users across the web,” which was pretty funny given that Facebook has a tracking feature its CEO literally calls “Facebook Across the Web.” The company also said, “logged out cookies… are used for safety and protection…” Except it turns out one cookie wasn’t used for “safety and protection,” as a Facebook engineer has admitted to Cubrilovic now that the press storm is subsiding. One cookie, “a_user,” continued to report your user ID back to Facebook after you logged out, until you shut down your browser entirely. The cookie was only visible to Facebook, but the site could have used it to track your visits to other sites if it wished, since a great many websites feature “Facebook Connect” widgets that load content from facebook.com — transmitting cookies to Facebook each time they do so. Oh shishi Facebook, you bein’ bad! *calling Zuckerberg* Hey Zuck — it’s me, the Geekologie Writer. THE GEEKOLOGIE WRITER, DAMMIT, DON’T ACT LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW WHO I AM! Huh? No Y, it’s with an I-E at the end. Listen Zuck, let me cut to the chase — I’m calling about something really serious today. I need you to float me $10-million. Why You Never Really Log Out of Facebook [gawker] Thanks to Joe and JoeLickASac, who, wow, two different Joes on one tip, what the chances of that happening?! “Not small enough to be worth mentioning.” Oh.

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Faceybooks: Never Not Tracking That Ass

Facebook , the social networking giant best known for consistently making its site shittier and more confusing to use, is now home to 140-billion photos , 4% of all photos ever taken . AND WITH ANOTHER 70-BILLION TO BE ADDED THIS YEAR ALONE. I…find that kind of depressing. Like seeing a dead bird on the way to work. Facebook easily dwarfs all other picture-hosting sites, and contains more than 10,000-times the photos in the Library of Congress. Granted most Facebook photos are garbage that nobody wants to see and shouldn’t be remembered anyway, but that’s not my point. My point is this: Myspace . I just uploaded like 400 peener pics to my old profile. COME ON TOM, WE GOT THIS! How many photos have ever been taken? [1000memories] (with a ton more info on the history and number of photographs taken to date, etc.) via Facebook’s Huge Trove Of Photos In Context [businessinsider] Thanks to Stephanie, who agrees in five years there won’t even be a Facebook anymore. Buttbook, absolutely. OMG — Booty booty booty booty rockin’ everywhere! And Geekologie on Facebook (just sayin — I’ve got pictures!)

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Facebook Hosts 4% Of All Photos Ever Taken

According a questionable study conducted by the The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, the 70% of teenagers that use social media websites like Facebook and Twitter are almost “twice as likely to use marijuana, three times as likely to drink alcohol, and five times as likely to use tobacco” (previously: be insecure, narcissistic, and have low-self esteem ). Possibly because they interact with other people besides mom and dad. The other 30% are home-schooled. Oh — this questionable study just in: social media didn’t exist when I was growing up, and look how I turned out. SPOILER : A f***ing mess. Some experts say kids see images of teens drinking and using drugs online, which takes the shock value out of bad behavior and leads some to think it’s what everyone is doing. Some viewers on our Facebook page say they monitor their kids’ social networking habits closely so they know what’s happening on the websites. ” I will look through dressers, clothes, Facebook, PC’s, whatever I want to make sure my child is safe,” writes Kelly. “They will hate me now, but one day they will love and thank me.” First paragraph: there are experts, and then there are the experts that actually believe this shit. The second group are f***ing idiots. Third paragraph: or just always hate you. That’s a very real possibility. Ha — building relationships based on trust. I’M IN YOUR UNDERWEAR DRAWER LOOKING FOR WEED, LOLOL! Teens who use social media mostly likely to drink and use drugs, says study [king5news] Thanks to Evil Ares, who’s evil and uses the persuasive power of peer pressure to coerce his friends into doing things for him. Join in the debauchery on Geekologie’s Facebook and Tweeter

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Study: Social Media-Using Teens More Likely To Drink, Smoke, Do Drugs (And Prolly Sex!)

In b4 ‘I’d do her’. NOTE: Two bad words at 0:45. This is a video of Madelaine Zammit (who looks suspiciously like a cross between Jewel and Leelee Sobieski — can science do that now? Can two womens have a baby?) singing a song about Facebook . It’s okay. The best parts are 1. her accent and 2. the song between 0:40 - 1:00. If you only have time to watch twenty seconds, watch those ones. If you only have ten seconds to watch, well, you’re working waaaaay too f***ing hard for a Friday. God, what’s next — NOT taking a nap after lunch?! Hit the jump for the video. BFF Geekologie on Facebook HERE.

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Australian Girl Singing Facebook Song

Facebook , which can’t even manage to function properly because of all the other worthless bullshit they’ve added to the site, has decided to drop another turd on the pile, this time in the form of ‘Tag Suggestions’, facial recognition software that, after your face has been identified once in a friend’s album, will search the remaining pictures trying to find you. Nice try Facebook — too bad I’m a ninja! *karate-kicks copier* Sarah Jacobsson Purewal, of PC World magazine, said: ‘Opting out won’t keep Facebook from gathering data and recognizing your face - it’ll just keep people from tagging you automatically.’ She also warns: ‘Facial recognition technology will ultimately culminate in the ability to search for people using just a picture. ‘And that will be the end of privacy as we know it–imagine, a world in which someone can simply take a photo of you on the street, in a crowd, or with a telephoto lens, and discover everything about you on the internet.’ Admittedly, that thought is kind of scary. Granted not as scary as the dream where your parachute doesn’t open or your teeth fall out, but still pretty bad. Well, at least to a normal person. You wanna talk about the REAL end of privacy? I’ve had to drop a deuce in a jail cell before with eight other dudes trying to pretend they aren’t watching — this is f***ing NOOOOOOOTHING. Geekologie on Facebook and Twitter Facebook now knows what you look like as it rolls out face recognition by stealth [dailymail] Thanks to Danielle and Tom, who don’t show their faces on Facebook for fear of ol’ Zuckerberg falling in love and online-stalking them. Haha, that reminds me of the time I online stalked myself to impress my friends. They weren’t.

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Facebook, Now With More Facial Recognition

According to a recent study, Facebook is visited more often than pr0n sites in the UK, indicating either 1. people are actually getting sexed in real life (unlikely) or 2. masturbate using only their imaginations. Haha, who hasn’t convinced themselves a cloud looks like a naked lady, amirite? The internet research company says that in January sites like Facebook accounted for 12.46% of all online traffic. That’s the equivalent of 2.4 billion hits or one eighth of all web visits. In comparison entertainment websites, including pornographic ones, accounted for 12.18% of traffic. It’s the first time social networking has overtaken entertainment in terms of popularity. Of those, social network site Facebook accounted for more than half, or 56%, of visits. Whoa whoa whoa — but Geekologie is an entertainment website! You can’t just go lumping it into a category filled with smut. “Why, because it’s worse than smut?” What the — I am insulted! “Really?” No, not at all. But sometimes I do like to pretend I’m a classy lady. *drinking with pinkie-finger raised* Oh butler — be a doll and fetch my pearls and Summer’s Eve vajay-spray, will you? Facebook more popular than porn for UK users [bbcnews] and Geekologie on Facebook (why not?) Thanks to TK 745, who’s convinced he saw a steamy lesbian scene in a bonfire once. Damn! What kind of firewood did you use?

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Facebook More Popular Than Pr0n In The UK

Proving that the Geekologie fanpage’s precious status updates might not be as safe as previously thought, an unknown hacker took control of Mark Zuckerburg’s official Facebook fanpage this week, probably by guessing his password, “administrator”. Good one Mark, but I would’ve gone with “IOWNTHISBITCH111″. Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg’s fan page was hacked Tuesday — a high-profile breach on a site that constantly faces scrutiny about its handling of its members private data. “It’s not clear if he was careless with his password, was phished, or sat down in a Starbucks and got sidejacked while using an unencrypted wireless network,”….”However it happened, it’s left egg on his face just when Facebook wants to reassure users that it takes security and privacy seriously.” While the method of attack is still unclear, it’s crystal clear that Mark Zuckerburg has 2,836,752 more Facebook fans than Geekologie, making me question my entire existence. WTF DOES HE HAVE THAT I DON’T?! “Hepatitis?” You said it not me! Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook page hacked [cnn] and Geekologie’s Presence on the Faceybooks Thanks to Evil Ares, who, while certainly evil, isn’t ‘hack-a-Facebook-fanpage’ evil. Good to know.

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Why Am I Not Surprised?: Mark Zuckerberg’s Official Facebook Fanpage Gets Hacked

Really? I thought it was for idiot-morons. I unfriended and blocked everyone on my Facebook buddy-list that plays that shit a long time ago. It was like 200 people. What?! I know a lot of moms ! Amazon Product Site via Things That Are Real of the Day [thedailywh.at] Thanks to Nick, who left Mafia Wars for Farmville and made a New Year’s resolution to leave Farmville for living a real f***ing life. I’m holding you to it, Nick.

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Sadly A Real Book: ‘Farmville For Dummies’