Seen here using a remarkably small font for a 400-year old, Ivy Bean, the world’s oldest Twitter user, has passed away . Her tweets , and old-lady aroma, will be missed. From the two-story care home where she lived in the northern English city of Bradford, 104-year-old Ivy Bean would tell her nearly 57,000 Twitter followers around the world what she did each day — from eating fish and chips to sitting in the garden. Bean’s online activity drew headlines in recent years because of her age, and she had been called the world’s oldest Twitter user, though that is difficult to verify. She became a member of Facebook at age 102, but she quickly migrated to Twitter because it was easier, she said, and because she could have more followers. She had maxed out her friend limit on Facebook. Earlier this year, Bean tweeted that she had 25,000 pending friend requests. Wait — WHAT?! This ol’ lady had 25,000 Facebook friend requests and I have to sell my ass on the street like a f***ing hotdog vendor to get you to join the Geekologie Facebook page ? WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON’T?! Style and grace? Okay what else? Dentures? Pfft — you think I won’t knock all my teeth out?! Somebody gimme an ice-skate, I’m about to ‘Cast Away’ this shit. R.I.P. Ivy Ivy Bean, ‘world’s oldest Twitter user,’ dead at 104 [cnn] and The Geekologie Facebook Page , WHICH YOU WILL JOIN Thanks to DC_Dewd, who may or may not have cybered with her at some point (he says he did).

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Don’t Cry, Fail Whale: World’s Oldest Twitter User Passes Away At Ripe Old Age Of 104

The Tokyoflash Instant Trend concept can pull tweets and Facebook updates from your phone via Bluetooth connection. What time is it? Who cares, one of my friends is having bowel trouble! Oh — oh — join this Facebook group for a $500 Macy’s gift card! If you like the design you can go to Tokyoflash to vote for it, and, if enough people do, they’ll actually manufacture the thing sans child labor . Which is a lot more than I can say for my line of sundials . Did I mention I’m selling really awesome sundials? Yeah they’re fair trade and organic and all that jazz. Hit the jump for a bunch of shots of the watch doin’ its thang, as well as how to actually read the time.

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Tokyoflash Concept Brings Tweets To The Palm Of Your Hand Your Hairy-Ass Wrist

That’s right folks, gang members are taking to popular social networking sites to brag about crimes, issue threats to rival gangs, and score bitches/drugs/skrilla. Basically everything Facebook and Twitter were invented for. When a gang member was released from jail soon after his arrest for selling methamphetamine, friends and associates assumed he had cut a deal with authorities and become a police informant. They sent a warning on Twitter that went like this: We have a snitch in our midst. “We are seeing a lot more of it,” Johnston said. “They will even go out and brag about doing shootings.” Gang use of Twitter and Facebook still lags behind use of the much-older MySpace, which remains gang members’ online venue of choice. Ah, I was wondering who still used Myspace. It’s the gangs, huh? I guess I better delete my old profile before somebody threatens to pop a cap in my ass. Just sayin’, I’m trying to keep this ass cap-free (can pull-tabs still okay). Gang members moving to Twitter, Facebook [msnbc] Thanks to FDSY, who had this to add, “LOL @ bloods. OMG those crips are str8 up d34d”

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Gang Members Increasingly Using Facebook And Twitter, Losing Significant Street Cred

First of all, the only Facebook group you really need to join is Geekologie’s (and NOT The Superficial’s ). But if you’re into joining every group possible you can join this guy’s , whose girlfriend has agreed to let him pirate -theme their house if he gets 1,000,000 fans. I’ve always wanted to be a pirate, and the onlyway I can truely do this is to live aboard a pirate ship, as I am tied into a house and a mortgage with this house, and I dont live anywhere near the sea, the only thing I can do is to turn my house into a massive pirate ship. I already have enough money to buy some wooden slats from B&Q, I just need to get my girlfriend to agree to remortgage the house so that I can afford decking, and masts, and eventually sails. If 1 million people joined this group it would help her understand that this isnt such a bad idea, and lots of people would do it as well, and it would help my dream come true. If you can leave a piratty message on the wall, it would also help. I was going to join but then I saw dude already has 988,756 fans, so he’s practically there. And by ‘there’ I mean on my shit-list. NOBODY OUT PIRATE-HOUSES ME! Facebook Group Thanks to Nikki, Dan, AJ and Lemrin, who all live in ninja-houses and have vowed to burn dude’s pirate house to the ground to prove their stealthy supremacy.

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Guy Needs 1M Facebook Fans And Girlfriend Will Let Him Turn House Into A Pirate Ship

Okay so I just noticed I left the “r” out of “your” in that Facebook update but that’s what happens when you stay up till 5 am binge drinking , you know? Also, waking up with strange bruises and an even stranger man in your bed (seriously brah, it’s 10:30 — time for you to go). Anyway, worst burglar ever: The popular online social networking site Facebook helped lead to an alleged burglar’s arrest after he stopped check his account on the victim’s computer, but forgot to log out before leaving the home with two diamond rings. [The victim] told police that someone had broken into her home through a bedroom window. There were open cabinets in her garage, and other signs of a burglar. The victim later noticed that the intruder also used her computer to check his Facebook status, and his account was still open when she checked the computer. Wow, that’s almost as bad as the time I broke into a house and accidentally spelled my name out on the fridge in alphabet magnets. Almost — but this guy is way stupider. Burglar leaves his Facebook page on victim’s computer [thejournal] Thanks to Joshua, nancypantz, Brian and Fally, who ONLY break into people’s places to check their status updates.

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Pathetic: Burglar Stops To Check Facebook On Victim’s Computer, Forgets To Log Out

This is a excerpt from a Facebook conversation (hit the jump to read the rest) between some crazy old lady and who she believes to be her son, but isn’t. I have no idea whether it’s fake or not (I don’t think it is), but that’s not the point. The point is that this a perfect example of why older parents shouldn’t be allowed to operate computers (or motor vehicles, unless they’re driving me to the mall with my friends). And I’m not just saying that because my stepfather walked in to use the computer during one of my more risque webcam shows, but he did. And started dancing. Yeah, it was awkward. But only in the beginning. Hit the jump for the rest of the conversation.

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Why Parents Shouldn’t Be On Facebook. Alternatively: Your Mom Just Friended Me

Available on a t-shirt for $20 . [via Kevin Kelly ]

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The Venn Diagram of Social Media

The head of England’s Roman Catholic Church is worried that social networking is costing people &mdash especially teenagers &mdash their social skills. Is he right? In an article published yesterday in the UK’s Telegraph , Archbishop Vincent Nichols , the man in charge at the Roman Catholic Church in England and Wales, blamed the Internet for causing things like bad community relations, shoddy friendships, and child suicides. “Too much exclusive use of electronic information dehumanizes what is a very, very important part of community life and living together,” he said. And then: “Among young people often a key factor in them committing suicide is the trauma of transient relationships.They throw themselves into a friendship or network of friendships, then it collapses and they’re desolate.” He was speaking in response to a recent incident in which 15-year old girl killed herself after a bout of bullying on Bebo . I get where he’s coming from, kinda. There is something deeply impersonal about the way information is relayed on social networks. In the past year, I’ve found out about half a dozen engagements, four weddings, two divorces, two deaths, and scores of newborn babies via Facebook updates. When I want to know what my friends are up to, I check their Twitter feed. Twitter is also where most intelligent daytime discussions take place &mdash why bother meeting someone for coffee to discuss current affairs when you can do the same with two hundred people at once on Tweetdeck? I don’t remember any phone numbers anymore, let alone addresses or birthdays &mdash Facebook has all those answers, too. Maybe the Internet really is making me socially retarded. It must be even worse for kids who are growing up now and have never known an analog era. I understand the Archbishop’s concern, although I do think he’s overreacting, especially with the transient relationships stuff. Relationships are transient everywhere, not just online &mdash in fact, hating and un-friending can be just as hurtful, if not more so, when they take place in the real world. By the way, it appears &mdash although I haven’t been able to verify whether this is his actual account &mdash that the Archbishop himself is on Facebook . So is the Roman Catholic Church . So if you want to ask him what he meant by “transient relationships,” you could just send him a direct message. Or we can discuss it here in our very social online forum. Even better, grab a colleague or two, invite them out for a drink, and have a face-to-face conversation about it. Advisor is a new weekly column about how to juggle technology, relationships, and common sense. Got a story to tell? Email it to mango [at] tokyomango [dot] com.

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Advisor: Don’t let social networking ruin your social skills