Wait — IT’S 2011?! Thanks bionic contact! Because the University of Washington obviously doesn’t take threats written on bar napkins and addressed to “you Terminator loving pencil-peens” seriously, they’ve decided to proceed with their bionic contact experiments and have successfully applied contact lenses to rabbits that can display one “pixel” worth of information. So basically just a blinking light. But rabbits don’t even know Morse code! In the future, contact lens systems may receive data from external platforms (e.g. mobile phones) and provide real-time notification of important events. As contact lens based biosensors advance, they may alert the wearer of physiological anomalies, such as irregular glucose or lactate levels. With more colors and increased resolution, contact lenses may display text, be used with gaming devices, or offer cues from navigation systems. Our long-term goal is to create a display that can be comfortably worn in the form of a contact lens, which will include a pixel array, focusing optics, an antenna, and circuitry for power harvesting, radio communication, and pixel control. Sure they could do all that, but all they’ll really do is make it even easier for kids to cheat on tests. And — AND — allow hackers to take control of your eyeballs . I can see it now: “p@y M3 $1-Milli0n 0r i’LL bUrn Y0ur F***Ing 3y38@ll5 0U7 0F Y0ur h3@D.” Literally, I SEE that now. Nice try, haxor, but I don’t even have a million dollars! *eyeballs sizzling* EEEEEEEEEEEE!! *running into bank with a grocery bag over my head* In the future, you might read e-mail on digitally enhanced contact lenses [cnn] Thanks to Thaylor and chris, who actually think this is a great idea and regret getting LASIK.

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Contacts That Beam Info Directly Into Your Eyeball

So apparently somebody started a rumor that the Navy SEALs that stormed Osama Bin Laden’s compound were rocking night-vision contact lenses. Personally, I don’t believe it. And not just because I know who started the rumor, but I do and he’s a dirty liar PLUS I’VE SEEN HIM EAT WET CAT FOOD ON A BET. Per speculation: The blink powered night vision contact lenses allow a person to see clearly in low- light environments by enhancing ambient light up to 200 per cent. These lenses use plasma technologies to eliminate the cumbersome and expensive image-intensification tubes used in convention night-vision goggles. The advantages of using the contact lenses above night-vision goggles are 1) full peripheral vision, 2) more comfortable interface, 3) a more cost-effective system, and 4) less disorientation with use. As a lot of people have pointed out, the problem with night-vision contacts is what happens when somebody turns the lights on: you go blind . Unless, of course, the make-believe lenses can auto-adjust instantaneously. *eyeroll* Aaaaaaaand I just blinked a contact out on the bathroom floor. “Dammit GW — are you blogging from the can again?” What — It was a rough night! Hi-Tech Night Vision on bin Laden Raid [kitup] via Are soldiers testing night vision contact lenses? [slashgear] Thanks to Drake, who wants to be reincarnated as a cat so he can lick his own b-hole see in the dark.

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WANT: Top Secret Night-Vision Contacts

This is a series of eyeball closeups taken by Suren Manvelyan . Why anybody would want to take a bunch of freaky macro eyeball pictures is beyond me, but I suspect Suren is trying to steal souls. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF POTIONS ARE YOU MIXING, WIZARD?! Hit the jump for a ton more ookiness.

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Windows To The Soul: Eyeball Closeups

Note: Jump is very NSFW and very NOT UNSEEABLE . Textbook definition of cannot be unseen . You have been warned. “Honey, look — it’s Homer !” “Oh my God that’s amazing! The only thing that could possibly make it any better is if it wasn’t my wife doing it. I think we should see other people.” Hit the jump for the very NSFW version ( SPOILER : boobie eyes!).

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Homer’s Completely NSFW Doppelganger

Note: Video is after the jump because fanboys are already crying and this is only a picture. This is a video of the new iPhone 4 getting shot by a Navy Seabee with a 50-caliber sniper rifle . It’s pretty cool to watch , even if dude does barely clip the thing. Now I’m not saying he’s a poor shot and I would have put a bullet right through the middle of the screen, but only because I don’t want him posting up in the building across the street with a picture of my face taped to his rifle. Kidding — your ass couldn’t hit the broad side of a ba– *BOOM* Hit it for the video.

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BOOM, HEADSHOT SCREENSHOT!: New iPhone 4 Getting Sniped In Slow-Motion

Note: This picture is small and I had to crop it click HERE to see the sadness in depressing high-resolution. This is a shot of a wave crashing in Orange Beach, Alabama . As you can see, it looks like absolute crap, which really got me thinking: there’s probably a lot of whale shit in the ocean , and I should stop drinking beach water. But it’s so salty! Eyewitness: BP oil spill [guardian] Thanks to Uncle Fester, who may or may not have touched Pugsley inappropriately (geez, just look at the guy).

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So Much For Bodysurfing: Alabama Oil Waves

LED eyelashes are exactly what they sound like: LEDs that attach to your eyelashes and light up to freak everybody out. I would wear them but my eyes are perfect the way they are. Read: eyepatched . YAAAAARR! Now, somebody put my cutlass in my hand and point me toward the liquor store: I’m feeling plunder-y. Hit the jump for one more shot of the ridiculousness.

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LED Eyelashes: No, That’s Not Weird At All