How To: Disappoint A Friend On Their Birthday

Send a ball , that’s how. Or nothing. Honestly, I’d prefer nothing. At least you won’t piss my mailman off (he already f***s up all my packages). Send a Ball, the online store that lets you create personalized inflatable balls for any occasion, made its ABC Shark Tank debut tonight. Here’s how the business started: “One day I [co-founder Michele) was in Osco, saw a BIN of bouncy balls, grabbed one and thought “I can mail this”. Took a sharpie, addressed it to my BFF Sharon, wrote “Have BALL with your new baby”, went to the post office and mailed it.” Balls start at $20 and include shipment to anywhere in the US. Which, for a $1 ball and $1 worth of postage, is a 1,000% markup. Which I think we can all agree, is the American way. Also: fat with a false sense of entitlement. News video with two annoying chicks after the jump.

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How To: Disappoint A Friend On Their Birthday

Yeah, But Can It Fly?: Amphibious WaterCar Does 60MPH On Both Land And Sea

The $200,000 WaterCar is the lovechild of a Corvette that fell in love with a cigarette boat. But, like having sex with a mermaid , everyone will tell you it was just a manatee. Get a Corvette engine, rig it up with a Dominator Jet drive, and then strap it into a floating car, and you get the WaterCar Python, the fastest and highest-performing amphibious vehicle in the world. If zipping over the water at a top speed of 60mph doesn’t float your boat, it’ll accelerate on land at a neck-snapping 0-to-60 speed of a mere 4.5 seconds. Call me old fashioned, but I like all my vehicles single-purpose. If it drives on the road, I don’t want it in the ocean or sky. I mean, that’s just more stuff to go wrong. And wrong, my friends, is the opposite of right. And two Wrights made an airplane. ZING! Thanks for that one, dad. Hit the jump for several more shots and a video of the thing in action (worthwhile stuff starts at 0:50).

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Yeah, But Can It Fly?: Amphibious WaterCar Does 60MPH On Both Land And Sea

Holy: Farmer Grows Buddah Shaped Pears

In this week’s ” growing things that look like other things ” news, a Chinese farmer has learned how to grow Buddah shaped pears . But are they sacrilegious to eat? Hao Xianzhang, a local famer, spent six years to perfect the process by growing the pears inside moulds, local media reported. The pears cost around 50 yuan (7.32 USD) each. Pfft, that’s nothing. One time I grew an apple that looked like I cut a hole in it and smoked weed out of it. BECAUSE I DID. Who has the green thumb now, bitches?! Hit the jump for two more shots of the holy fruit.

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Holy: Farmer Grows Buddah Shaped Pears

Crimes Against Humanity, Alternatively, Why I Decided To Rob You: A $135K Blu-Ray Player

Nobody should own a $135,000 Goldmund Eidos Reference Blue Blu-ray player. That’s the bottom line . I mean, there are children in Africa who don’t even have Laserdisc players. So how someone could knowingly spend six figures on a Blu-ray player makes me sick. BLAAAAAAH! There, I hope you’re happy now. This 66-pound behemoth has such beautiful design, we’re thinking it would be right at home in an art gallery. But does it make the Blu-ray movies look any better? Only those with golden eyes and ears will know for sure. Those precision spring-loaded legs, a completely isolated power supply and fancy Goldmund Magnetic Damping drives the price up into the stratosphere, along with that ritzy Goldmund name. I’ve never heard of the Goldmund name, so that doesn’t mean anything to me. I guess I’m not an audiophile. Although, admittedly, I did experiment with a girl’s ear once in college, but it just wasn’t my thing (she got an inner-ear infection and dumped me). Hit the jump for one more shot of the ridiculousness.

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Crimes Against Humanity, Alternatively, Why I Decided To Rob You: A $135K Blu-Ray Player

Retro Styling: Cassette Tape Wallets

These cassette tape wallets from designbloom are wallets made out of old cassette tapes . Pretty clever, but they cost $43. So if you’ve ever wanted to try making something yourself, now’s your chance. Just make me one. With a Def Leppard tape. Bitchin’? BITCHIN’! cassette wallet [designboom] Thanks to phil, who keeps his money in his socks BECAUSE HE’S OLDSCHOOL.

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Retro Styling: Cassette Tape Wallets

Own Your Very Own (Miniature) Bat Signal

Want your own miniature bat signal ? Now’s your chance — a limited edition of 500 are being sold for $260 from Entertainment Earth . The miniature replica Bat-Signal features a sturdy metal construction and stands about 12-inches tall. It’s got a built-in cooling fan and can be swiveled and tilted to give you the best shot at making contact with the Dark Knight. Of course, since the light can only project the Bat symbol about 16-feet, don’t expect him to show, unless he happens to live in your bedroom closet. Now I’m not saying you should cut a bat out of black contact paper and slap it on a pre-existing lamp, but, I mean, recession. $4 bat signal: 1, $260 bat signal: 3. Wait a minute — 3? Damn you, style points! desktop bat-signal hails bugs not bats [technabob]

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Own Your Very Own (Miniature) Bat Signal

House From Ferris Bueller’s Day Off For Sale

The Highland Park, Illinois home of Ferris Bueller’s best friend Cameron is currently available for $2.3 million if you’re interested. The house is best known for its cantilevered plate-glass garage that Cameron sends his dad’s Ferrari through after kicking the shit out of it. The Ben Rose Home - site of the famous movie “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” Cantilevered over the ravine, these two steel and glass buildings - which can never be duplicated - have incredible vistas of the surrounding woods. This is a unique property designed by A. James Speyer and David Haid, both notable architects of the 20th Century. Anybody seriously interested? And if so, want to adopt a blogger? Just saying, I’ll do the dishes. And, hopefully, the maid . Pool boy too! Ferris Bueller’s Ferrari House For Sale [retrothing] Thanks to wulk, who knows that people who live in glass houses shouldn’t own Ferraris.

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House From Ferris Bueller’s Day Off For Sale

Questionable: The Outdoor Dog Crap Flusher

The Powerloo is an outdoor dog crap flusher that ties into your home plumbing’s sewer line and flushes special biodegradable bags of dog shit down the drain so you don’t step in it while you’re playing badminton with Bubbles and the gang. It costs $1000. The Powerloo: pick it up, flush it down! Pick up your dog waste, hands free and flush it away with the Powerloo. Did that make any sense? Does having a bag over your arm constitute hands free? Because if not, when was the last time you saw a bag of dog shit walk across the lawn and throw itself away? Exactly, that summer you tried PCP. The prosecution rests. Product Site via Powerloo dog toilet won’t teach Fido to flush [dvice]

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Questionable: The Outdoor Dog Crap Flusher

Artist Folds Paper To Create Pictures

German artist Simon Schubert folds pieces of paper into beautiful pictures of, uh, stairwells. Each piece takes about a week’s worth of work and can sell for up to $6,000. *gathering neighborhood kids in a wagon* Arts and crafts time at the Geekologie Writer’s house! “Most of the people who see the work are surprised that the pictures are created by folding paper, they don’t believe it when I tell them. “Many of them think I’ve used paint or pencil to create the affect of light and shade. But when they realise the pictures are actually folded they are quite impressed.” Impressive, Simon, it’s too bad I’m about to flood the market with child-folded ripoffs! Isn’t that right, kids? Kids? *dink dink dittle dee dink dittle dee dink dee dink dee dink * DAMN YOU, ICE CREAM VAN! Hit the fold for a bunch more.

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Artist Folds Paper To Create Pictures

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