So Porsche has decided to go forward and produce the Spyder 918 hybrid , which, up until now, was strictly conceptual . Did I mention it’ll cost around $650,000? Because it will. Yeah, I just pre-ordered two. Didn’t I, Hot Wheels? High rolla, HIGH ROLLA! A 3.4-liter V8 petrol burner is combined with electric motors to put out 500bhp, while featuring the mind-altering acceleration to go from a standing start to 62mph in just 3.2 seconds. Topping out at 198mph and offering a very respectable 78mpg fuel economy… The cost? That hasn’t been officially announced yet, but estimates peg it around the $650,000 mark. Don’t worry, though — it’ll be eligible for the $7,500 federal tax credit. Well thank God for the federal tax credit. I know that’s what I’m concerned about when I’m wiping my ass with diamond-studded toilet paper. Did I mention my commode is solid gold? Which — you know how they say you can’t polish a turd? They’ve never seen one sparkling at the bottom of my bowl. Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the “yes, yes I would have sex with that car.”

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Porsche Producing $650K Spyder 918 Hybrid

Note: The additional (high-res) shots of the facility can be seen HERE , HERE and HERE . These are super-secret spy shots taken from inside Apple’s $100 million iPhone testing facility. Okay so they’re not actually secret, Apple released them today . Unless you wanna pretend they’re super-secret spy shots, in which case that spy was me and I did that shit James Bond style plus a bunch of voluptuous-ass womens afterward. No, no I didn’t either. I accidentally shot myself in the leg Plaxico Burress style and was propositioned by a toothless whore on the bus ride to Cupertino. Me being a much classier version of Bond aside, it’s sad as shit when your $100 million testing facility releases a phone that loses its signal when you hold it wrong. Just sayin’, you could have tested that shit in my closet. Apple’s Antenna Design and Test Labs [apple] Thanks to the blue batter, Christopher and Jessica, who all have assistants who hold their phones for them and won’t hesitate to fire them if they drop a call (or the phone in a toilet).

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No Cameras Beyond This Point: A Peak Inside Apple’s $100 Million iPhone Testing Facility

Now I know what you’re thinking , “But I don’t remember buying an underwater plane”. And that’s because I’m talking about Virgin Group, Richard Branson’s company , not virgin, you. You’re poor, remember? Guests on Necker Island, a retreat in the British Virgin Islands, will be able to dive underwater in a submarine dubbed the Necker Nymph for $25,000 a week. But that’s only after shelling out around $300,000 for a one-week stay on Necker, the private island owned by billionaire and Virgin Group chairman Richard Branson. Guests on Necker Island, a retreat in the British Virgin Islands, will be able to dive underwater in a submarine dubbed the Necker Nymph for $25,000 a week. But that’s only after shelling out around $300,000 for a one-week stay on Necker, the private island owned by billionaire and Virgin Group chairman Richard Branson. I guess that would be pretty cool, but it’s still a bit pricey. And by a bit pricey I mean you could pay scientists to splice porpoise and human DNA together and have sex with a mermaid for cheaper. Which I’m considering. Branson goes 20,000 leagues under the sea [cnnmoney] Thanks to Spartacus, who was like the Dale Jr. of Roman chariot races.

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Virgin Adds ‘Underwater Plane’ To Fleet

Nobody should own a $135,000 Goldmund Eidos Reference Blue Blu-ray player. That’s the bottom line . I mean, there are children in Africa who don’t even have Laserdisc players. So how someone could knowingly spend six figures on a Blu-ray player makes me sick. BLAAAAAAH! There, I hope you’re happy now. This 66-pound behemoth has such beautiful design, we’re thinking it would be right at home in an art gallery. But does it make the Blu-ray movies look any better? Only those with golden eyes and ears will know for sure. Those precision spring-loaded legs, a completely isolated power supply and fancy Goldmund Magnetic Damping drives the price up into the stratosphere, along with that ritzy Goldmund name. I’ve never heard of the Goldmund name, so that doesn’t mean anything to me. I guess I’m not an audiophile. Although, admittedly, I did experiment with a girl’s ear once in college, but it just wasn’t my thing (she got an inner-ear infection and dumped me). Hit the jump for one more shot of the ridiculousness.

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Crimes Against Humanity, Alternatively, Why I Decided To Rob You: A $135K Blu-Ray Player

The Human Regenerator is a $553,400 piece of monkey shit that’s supposed to make you live longer or something. Personally, I think it looks suspiciously like Superman’s tanning bed of solitude. The Human Regenerator is a Quantum-Pulse-Device that imitates and generates the cellular body’s natural frequencies ranging between 0.0005 and 38,000 Hz. Through intensive treatment with the body’s own healthy frequencies, the organism is regenerated in a natural way. This process is enhanced by specially treated silicium and aluminum depots, which with the help of right spinning protos have an anti-aging effect. Furthermore, longitudinal waves are used as a filter to create more human-like waves, therefore adding pure positive energy to the body. Very convincing technology there. Unfortunately, only 50 of the devices are being made, and “will be offered to a small circle of prominent figures of our time.” But if you showed up with $500K, I guarantee you could get one. And also, maybe some hooker action. Which, let’s be realistic, will do a lot more for you than Quatum-Cell-Coding ever will — provided you wrap it up. Otherwise, cooties bro. Product Website Thanks to Mushishi, who’s also selling a cellular regenerator that looks suspiciously like a microwave oven with no door.

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Worth $500K?: The Human Regenerator