Um, all soda cans are spray cans if you shake them first. Because tilting a can back/not poking your eyes out with a straw takes skill and dexterity that today’s youth are lacking, soda is now available in spray-cans. Think spray-cheese , but then think soda. Then think both of them together day after day and you’ll understand why I look the way I do. *BELCH* It took a team of 40 researchers and developers to come up with this new soda delivery system, which apparently dispenses a product with a texture that’s a cross between a soft drink and Reddi Wip. Yum? To activate Turbo Tango, the packaging instructs users to “Hold upright and squirt in your mouth (and nowhere else).” 40 researchers that should be awfully f***ing ashamed of themselves aside, this shit sounds pretty pukey. Don’t get me wrong — I’m all for having things sprayed in my mouth, I just don’t know how I feel about this. Yes, yes I do: sticky. What?! I have bad aim! Soda follows Cheez Whiz into spray cans [dvice] Thanks to The Cook, who makes a mean cheesy-ramen. Get all hopped up on Sunny-D with me on Faceybooks and Tweeter and then we can run around in the woods behind my house and playing commando or whatever

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Shoot It In My Eyes!: Soda, Now In Spray-Cans

Perky Jerky is beef jerky with caffeine added (via guarana) to help keep you awake and focused on trying to look busy and not like you’re just reading Geekologie. Perky Jerky caffeinated beef jerky is the world’s first performance enhancing meat snack. Put simply, we’ve combined the most tender and flavorful beef jerky, with an extra dose of energy (caffeine, from the Guarana we add) to provide a jerky experience you won’t find anywhere else. Performance enhancing meat snack . I dunno about all that. But if you want to try it, a 2 oz bag will set you back $5. Alternatively, a 2 oz bag of good weed would be like $700. So, yeah, cheaper than good weed. Product Site Thanks to Ryan, Mr. Robbot and Towhee Monster, who get their energy the old fashioned way, directly from the sun . Transform and photosynthesize!

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Beef Jerky: Now With More Caffeine