Fish , long thought to make terrible tradesmen (but delicious sticks), can apparently use tools . Rocks are tools, right? “URG!” …Thanks for your input, Grok, but your dingaling is showing . I’m serious, people are starting to stare. Me? I’ve been staring the whole time. Scientists have recently discovered that several species of wrass will pick up clams with their mouths and then spit them at rock “anvils” to smash them open and get at all that yummy slime inside. Mmmm, slimy shit . And to think this whole time I’ve been steaming them to get them to open. Gaaaaaaah, outsmarted by fish again! Hit the jump for a fish demonstrating his clam-crushing skills.

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God, Build Your Own Aquarium: Fish Use Tools

This is a parody of an Epic Meal Time episode in the World of Warcraft . They did a pretty good job. Plus at the end there’s a chick with cotton candy hair eating something while making faces. That part was confusing. Actually, it was all confusing. Not gonna lie folks, I’m not very smart. SIKE! I got an 84 on my IQ test — that’s a solid B! *raising the roof* “The test goes to 180 — that’s not very high.” Oh man, I was though . I told them my name was Batman and ate two pencil erasers. Hit the jump for the video.

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World Of Warcraft ‘Epic Meal Time’ Parody

The Eatensil is exactly what it sounds like . “An edible pencil?!” Okaaaaaaaay , maybe not. They really should have called it the Chopsitckpizzacuttersporknifewoodenthingybottleopener, which, I think we can all agree, really rolls off the tongue . Also, marbles when your mom pries your mouth open after asking if you’ve been eating your toys again. But I like they way they feel in my cheeks! One time I even got to go to the emergency room after stuffing four Hotwheels wheels up my nose! True story. The Eatensil: For All Those Times You Need a Pizza Cutter on the Go [gizmodo] Thanks to Gretel, who should have left a trail of uncooked spaghetti noodles or something instead of bread.

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Eatensil: A Swiss Army Knife For The Kitchen

I hate eating . It takes up precious time plus I’m fat . But what if homecooked meals were easier to make? THEY ARE, THEY’RE CALLED HOT POCKETS. But did that stop MIT cohorts Marcelo Coelho and Amit Zoran from conceptualizing this ‘Cornicopia’ digital food printer ? Oh hell nah son! this 3-D printer concept is a personal food factory that fuses the digital world with the realm of cooking by storing, precisely mixing, depositing, and cooking layers of ingredients with no waste. Cornucopias’ printing process begins with an array of food canisters filled with the “cook’s” foods of choice. After a meal selection has been made using the device’s multi-touch translucent screen, users are able to see their meal being assembled while simultaneously manipulating real-time parameters, such as calories or carbohydrate content. Each ingredient is then piped into a mixer and then very precisely extruded, allowing for very exact and elaborate combinations of food. Once each ingredient has been dropped, the food is then heated or cooled by Cornucopia’s chamber or via the heating and cooling tubes located on the printing head. Mmmm, that sounds….like Taco Bell. Great, now I want a cheesy gordita crunch. Oooh — and a Mexican pizza. Shit do they still sell Choco-Tacos? Because I will straight up crash my roommate’s Vespa through the drive-thru window if they do. Want anything? Four chalupas and a Baja Blast? YOU’LL GET NOTHING AND LIKE IT! Hit the jump for several more renderings.

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Print Me A Pizza!: MIT’s Digital Food Printer

You ever wanted to eat a PB&J out of R2’s head? Who hasn’t? And now you can thanks to this $11 lunchbox . Whoa,11?! You can’t even get a handjob candy bar for $11 anymore! There’s also Boba Fett and Darth Vader models (plus a ton of others) available if the little astromech droid isn’t doing it for you. He’s definitely doing it for me though. And by it I mean filming Leia while she changes. And no beep-booping — you blew our cover last time. Hit the jump for another shot of R2 and the other boxes.

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You’ll Never Have To Give Up Your Lunch Money Again: Sweet Star Wars Lunch Boxes

NOTE : Full-res version HERE . The latest in nutritional flow charts (after fast food , beer and breakfast cereal ), comes the candy edition. Now I don’t know about you, but when I’m hankering for something sweet, there’s only one thing that does the trick: candy dots . Kidding, those are by far the shittiest candy ever made. Jesus, it’s not even candy — just mostly ripped paper. What Should I Eat Candy Edition [topcultured] Thanks to Drew, who’s genuinely pissed the chart claims Whoppers taste like chalk.

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Cavities!: ‘What Should I Eat?’ Candy Chart

The latest in flowing charts posted here on Geekologie, this graphic guides you through the process of determining if a dropped food item is still worth eating. Of course, it’s completely inaccurate. When it comes to eating shit off the floor there’s really only one question you need to ask yourself before popping it back in your mouth: is it actually shit? Dropped Food. Should You Eat it? [flowingdata] Thanks to twellve, who lives (and may die) by the 5-second rule.

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Flowchart: It Fell On The Floor, Should I Eat It?

Let’s face it: kids were born to make your life a living hell and wreak havoc on your house and mental health whenever possible (note: this is all speculation, I don’t actually have any kids. ANYMORE — they’re all growed up!). So why not minimize the damage the little imps can do to your kitchen with a $10 Gyro Toddler Food Bowl? “No matter which way the handles of this bowl are turned, the food in the middle stays upright.” Awesome. Wait — is that caramel corn? TODDLERS DON’T EAT CARAMEL CORN? What are you, trying to kill the little bastard? Cause you know they fetch a pretty penny on the black market. I mean, I’VE HEARD. Firsthand (meet me behind the Dollar General). Gyro bowl makes it harder for kids to make a mess [dvice]

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Gyro Kid’s Bowl Makes Spilling More Difficult

I’ve known about Baconnaise for a while but I’ve been getting this tip pretty steadily for like a year now so I guess I can’t keep it all to myself anymore. Baconnaise: bacon flavored mayonnaise. From J&D foods (who also make bacon lube and BaconSalt (see the salt after the jump), a 3-pack of 15-ounce jars in on sale from Amazon for the low, low artery clogging price of $11. And with the combined power of Baconnaise and Baconsalt, you really can make anything taste like bacon ! And I do mean anything. Oh hoooooney! Hit the jump to see the salt.

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Make Anything Taste Delicious: Baconnaise