Combining two of my favorite things in the whole entire universe (which, contrary to popular belief, I’m the master of), this is a Legend of Zelda beer pong table constructed from 128 printed screenshots of the overworld from the original game. Would I play on it? Yes. Would I chop the thing in half with a Master Sword replica if I lost? Also yes. Plus chase the winners out into the street and make them dive into traffic from between parked cars. What? I’m a sore loser! Paper-rock-scissors to see who goes first? Hit the jump for one more shot from the other side and a video.

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Legend Of Zelda Overworld Map Beer Pong Table

The Photoblocker is a beer bucket from Norte beer that has a camera flash sensor that causes the bucket to fire its own flash , effectively ruining any photos taken in its direction. Because, as the company puts it, “what happens in the club, stays in the club.” Great news, really (I just puked in a stairwell). The device actually exists and works. It’s been planted in a few regional bars and photoblocked pictures were still uploaded with the subjects well protected. Savvy club owners would do well to look into ways of acquiring more like these…However, there doesn’t appear to be concrete plans to bring the device to North America. There are two videos of the bucket in action after the jump, which seem to encourage infidelity and promiscuous behavior, neither of which I can condone. That said, I would let somebody try to take a picture of me sitting in another dude’s lap just to see it work. Ready? Now pretend like we’re kissing! *click* It didn’t go off, did it? “Nope, waitress took the bucket to refill a couple minutes ago.” Sooooooooo…do we have to get married now or what? Hit the jump for the ads.

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Norte Photoblocker: The Beer Cooler That Prevents Unwanted Photos (But Not Pregnancies)

Your mannequin: he needs an ass and a belt. This is a backpack with two integrated 4-quart beverage containers and really long straws. The mannequin in the picture? He filled his with tea. I’m gonna fill mine with milk and cookies . No, no I’m not. I’m gonna fill one side with bourbon and the other WITH BLOOD. It’s the secret to my power. “What power?” The power of intimidation. You know how many people will still wanna fight after watching a man drink blood? Only the ones you should run away from. Amazon Product Site via Dual Drink Backpack [thisiswhyimbroke] Thanks to Tigi Turnbot, who just tied a piece of rope to the handles of two milk jugs and slung them over his shoulders. Thrifty, I like it.

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Oh Yeah, Real Incognito: The Dual Booze Backpack

This is Geekologie Reader Owain’s killer robot Halloween costume. He’s particularly proud of it because he found a way to still drink while wearing a mask . Clever, Owain. I mean I’m still gonna kill you, but clever. Picture

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"How To Drink And Still Wear A Mask": Geekologie Reader’s Killer Robot Costume

This is a $15 titanium drinking straw from ThinkGeek. While I do appreciate the effort to make it partially bent, it’s rigid so it’s not an actual bendy straw . Which is exactly why I just started manufacturing them out of lead. See — it’s malleable! “Tell me you’re joking.” Joking — about what, malleability?! Obviously you don’t know anything about lead. Hit the jump for one more shot in the style of ‘Viva la sipping revolucion!’ and a product demo of a bunch of citrus fruit and beer cans getting stabbed with the thing.

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Well It’s About Time!: Titanium Drinking Straws

Seen here looking like something I’d kill in a video game, a woman displays the DareDroid 2.0, an interactive dress that rewards ‘Truth or Dare’ participants with cocktails for “legitimate” answers and poison for “illegitimate” ones . Fine, I was lying about the poison thing. That would make it way more interesting though. What?! I’m desensitized, I have a hard time getting kicks anymore! Me: Truth or dare? You: Dare. Me: I dare you to tell me I wouldn’t shoot you. You: You wouldn’t shoo– *BLAM! BLAM BLAM BLAM!* Me: Truth or dare? You: Truth. Me: Have you ever seen so much of your own blood before? You: I only see white. Me: Does it have a beard? That might be God. Truth or dare? You: Dare. Me: Dare you to see how long you can wait before going to the hospital. Hit the jump for several more shots and an explanatory video.

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WTF: A Trivia-Asking, Drink Dispensing Dress

If you’re like me you make gin in the bathtub . It does the trick, but more often than not you end up with a bottle with pubes and a washcloth in it. Plus it tastes like apricot facial scrub. Enter the $1,900 Synergy Home Beer Brewing System. It’s not your granpappy’s moonshine still! It offers no-nonsense looks thanks to professional TIG welded, 304 stainless steel construction, and features swiveling, lockable casters, an FDA-approved lower shelf for pumps and chillers, two 155,000 BTU propane burners with separate controls, a mash tun, hot liquor tank, and a boil kettle — all the tools you need to create pro-quality beer, conveniently placed on four wheels. Plus — PLUS — it looks like a meth lab so when your inlaws come to visit you can stay up the night before so you look all cracked out and when they get there mumble about “getting mixed up with the wrong group of people”. Then, in their daughter’s best interest, they’ll call the police on you. When the po-po arrive you can just explain it’s a beer-brewing kit and you were playing a trick on your inlaws because you hate their guts. After having a good laugh, the cops will notice a half-smoked joint in an ashtray and nail your ass to the wall. Unless you live here in LA, in which case THAT SHIT’S LEGAL AND YOU CAN FINISH IT ON THE COUCH WHILE THEY LET THEMSELVES OUT. Product Site (on Etsy!) via Synergy Home Beer Brewing System [uncrate] Thanks to Chris, who makes beer the old fashioned way: he doesn’t . He goes to 7-11, drops a six-pack of cans on the floor, and then asks the cashier if he can get some sort of scratch-and-dent discount.

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Finally!: A Professional Homebrew Beer Kit

Hrey whas this brutton do? Space beer , not to be confused with beer made with ingredients grown in space , is beer designed to be consumed in space by future space-tourists. Why does space deserve it’s own beer ? I dunno, but I’m getting pretty jealous about it! The reason why space-goers need their own beer is two-fold. First the carbonation in the beer poses a problem for those zero-G gulpers. Without the buoyancy force that the drink has on Earth, the carbon dioxide, which is dissolved in the beer, doesn’t form bubbles-and who wants to drink a flat beer? Second astronauts often face issues with a deadening of their taste buds. To overcome this tasting deficiency, the Australian company that made the brew decided it should be a stout, with the normal flavors enhanced. The brew was bottled in early September and is expected to make its inaugural flight in November, aboard a plane that flies in long parabolic arcs to create periods of weightlessness. The beer will be tested for its qualitative taste and drinkability (hopefully not by the pilot). The brew is a joint venture between Saber Astronautics Australia and 4-Pines Brewing Company, and, if all goes well, will even be available here on earth for you non-space cadets. But that’s not what I came to tell you about, I came to tell you about getting drunk in space. DON’T TALK SHIT TO ALIENS, THEY WILL BLOW UP EARTH. Next on Space Tourist Menu: Space Beer [cbsnews] Thanks to Fortune, who’s so rich he has a magazine named after him. Share the wealth, bro!

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Space Beer: For Out Of This World Drankin’

This is a Nintendo cartridge that’s been stuffed with a breathalizer unit and synced to a homebrew NES game so you can blow into it and find out just how boozy you are. Fun for the whole family! (Except grandma, she’s a mean drunk). DrunkenNES is a for-real NES game lovingly constructed with machine code by Batsly [Adams], music by chiptune artist Kris Keyser and art by Motherboard photographer Emi Spicer. A regular NES cartridge has been loaded with an actual breathalyzer mechanism, which Batsly says he bought from a hardware store. He hacked it into a corded controller that connects to the console just like a normal joystick. After blowing into it for several seconds, the game calculates how slizzered you’ve gotten and awards you with one of several ‘results’ screens like Buzzed Bee and Party Kitten. Best party game ever? Yeah, I’d say so. Very cool. Of course the fact that you’d have to tote a whole NES around pretty much limits its practicality to at-home use only. Which, correct me if I’m wrong, is the one place it doesn’t how drunk you get. Unless you’re one of those drunk-texters, in which case, God, enough with the penis pictures already, I’m on a pay-per-text plan! Just kidding, but do try to consolidate. Hit the jump for a drunk cameraman filming a drunk breathalizer user. Barfy!

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NES 8-Bit Breathalizer Is An Actual Game

According to a story by NPR’s This American Life , the 125-year old top-secret Coca-Cola Classic recipe was accidentally leaked in the photo accompanying a 1979 Atlanta newspaper article about the soda giant, but nobody noticed it until now. You’re going down, Coke! Well, as soon as this last batch of bathtub gin finishes fermenting. THEN IT IS ON. Same goes for you, Fanta! You think I won’t make some bomb-ass tastin’ grape soda? I LIVE FOR THAT SHIT! And while companies like Pepsi have deduced the general ingredients on their own, none have unlocked the “Merchandise 7X flavoring” that gives Coke its unique taste and bubbly burn. “The company has always said, and as far as I know it’s true, that at any given time only two people know how to mix the 7X flavoring ingredient,” Mark Pendergrast, historian and author of For God, Country and Coke told This American Life. “Those two people never travel on the same plane in case it crashes; it’s this carefully passed-on secret ritual and the formula is kept in a bank vault.” The recipe: Fluid extract of Coca: 3 drams USP Citric acid: 3 oz Caffeine: 1 oz Sugar: 30 (unclear quantity) Water: 2.5 gal Lime juice: 2 pints, 1 quart Vanilla: 1 oz Caramel: 1.5 oz or more for color The secret 7X flavor (use 2 oz of flavor to 5 gals syrup): Alcohol: 8 oz Orange oil: 20 drops Lemon oil: 30 drops Nutmeg oil: 10 drops Coriander: 5 drops Neroli: 10 drops Cinnamon: 10 drops Alcohol, huh? No wonder I like it so much. Of course, I’d like it even more if half the can was bourbon. Which, at least the way I drink them, actually are. You think I can’t pour Maker’s Mark into a Coke can? Oh I can pour Maker’s into a Coke can . It’s called a steady hand funnel. Remember: where there’s a will (and drinlkling problem), there’s a way. Plus a long history of drunk in publics. OCCIFER NOOOO! Is This the Real Thing? Coca-Cola’s Secret Formula ‘Discovered’ [time] Thanks to The Superficial Writer , who used to have the secret family recipe to Bush’s Baked Beans but lost it in a drinking contest. Well technically I stole it during a drinking contest, the point is it’s mine now. MY HEART NEVER HAD IT SO GOOD.

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Coca-Cola’s Secret Ingredients Discovered?