It’s 9PM and you just finished downloading your 2,000th bootleg movie when you hear a a siren. Holy shit, the cops are coming for you. What do you do? Well if you’re anything like me you don a fake beard and Italian accent and dive out the nearest window crapping your pants. Other, much more prepared individuals might try drilling their hard-drive to destroy any incriminating evidence. Which is where these handy-dandy laptop stickers come into play. You just place them on your laptop over the hard-drive (see your computer’s schematic for exact location), that way you know where to put the drill when the time comes. Just a heads up though: if the po-po bust in while you’re still making holes they may shoot you after mistakenly confusing your drill for a plasma pistol. And another heads up: if the po-po bust in while you’re still making love to yourself you 100% will be made fun of before you can even zip up. Even worse if it was anime or furry porn. Which brings me to my next topic of emergency preparedness: cyanide capsules. Media Artist Contingency Plan (with the sticker design to print out if you want. Alternatively, make a big X in Sharpie with the words ‘X MARKS THE SPOT’) via Protect Your Hard Drive Secrets With a Simple Sticker [technabob] Thanks to Kev, but not Kevin Arnold from “The Wonder Years’ (trust me, I emailed him to make sure), who wants to know what you’re supposed to do after you realize the cops weren’t coming for you after all and were just chasing a speeder but here you are with 10 drilled holey hard drives. Don’t look at me — you were the one that was all high and paranoid!

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Laptop Stickers Show You Where To Drill To Destroy A Hard Drive In Case Of Emergency

Some moron decided it would be a good idea to attempt stealing holy gas from a church van. Only problem is, Jesus wasn’t having it . BURN HEATHEN, BUUUUURN! Blake King, 24, was reported in stable condition Wednesday in Vanderbilt University Hospital’s Burn Center. Evansville police report King was burned as he was using a cordless drill to drill into the gas tank of a 2001 Chevrolet van on the lot of Abundant Faith Church, 1228 Lodge Ave. Something sparked, according to the police report, catching the van on fire and burning King . The fire leaves the church without one of its two vans, which was supposed to help transport youth members to St. Louis this weekend. Officers arrived and found King, who told them he was burned when he stopped at 1228 Lodge Ave. to help another man who was on fire. Firefighters and fire investigators found a cordless drill next to the van. LOLWUT — cordless drilling a gas tank?!?! Let’s say you somehow managed to not set your dumbass on fire, what were you gonna do when the gas started flowing? Catch it in your mouth and spit it into a bucket? Okay that’s actually pretty good. Police: Man caught self on fire trying to steal gas from church van [courierpress] Thanks to Dakota, who tried electric drilling a dairy truck once and ended up with nothing but a milk mustache. I’m not gonna lie, you look handsome.

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Man Attempts Gas Theft From Church Van, Sets Himself, Van Ablaze