Want a poster-size print of yourself riding a dinosaur ? Of course you do, it’s like every child’s grown man’s dream. Well it is mine at least. And now thanks to Dinoprints, you won’t have to do the Photoshopping yourself! $50 gets a 24″ x 36″ print of yourself riding a t-rex , spinosaurus or wooly mammoth, with more dinosaur options on the way. You just take a picture of yourself in the proper straddling pose, upload it, and Dinoprints takes care of the rest. “You’re gonna make it look like you’re banging one, aren’t you?” Pfft — please . I’m gonna make it look like I’m banging two. Hit the jump for a gallery of the possibilities. You can even use a pet!

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Yes!: Poster-Size Prints Of You Riding A Dinosaur

This is a video of Geekologie Reader Simon spending a lot of time and effort to build a 12-pound warhammer for a friend’s birthday , making him a far better friend than any of mine. “Because you don’t have any?” GOOD ONE, DINGLEBERRY. Did you come up with that one all by yourself? “Nope — I had a friend help.” Ugh, of course you did, Mr. Popular. God I’m so f***ing alone. Hit the jump for the woodworking in progress.

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Geekologie Reader Made 12-lb Warhammer For Friend

Oh man, the fear we could strike in my neighborhood with this thing. In other hovering news, this is an immaculately conceived restored 1965 Marine Corps Huey gunship for sale on eBay . You and I are going to buy it together and take turns going on neighborhood patrol. Oooooooor just sitting in it playing helicopter hero because we both lost our pilot’s licenses trying to land on top of 7-11. GW & FRIEND TO SNACK BASE — PREPARE THE CHIPS & SODA AIRLIFT, OVER. IT IS BEING SOLD WITH NO DATA PLATE AND NO RECORDS. ENG, TRANS AND BLADES ARE MISSING SERIAL NUMBERS. ALL GUN MOUNTS, AMMO CANS, CHUTES, GUNS, AND 2.75 ROCKET PODS ARE INCLUDED IN THE SALE. ALL GUNS ARE NON-FIREING DUMMY’S. THIS HELICOPTER WAS HANGER KEPT MOST OF ITS LIFE. BEING SOLD AS A STATIC DISPLAY THAT RUNS. RECORDS HAVE BEEN LOST. SLOW FUEL LEAK, VERY SLOW HYDROLIC LEAK. (they all leak). NO EXPORTING WITHOUT PROPER PAPERWORK PERIOD. (EUC ). THIS MIGHT BE THE ONLY CHANCE YOU WILL HAVE TO BUY A RUNNING & F***** GUNSHIP AT A STATIC DISPLAY PRICE. *NOTE* HELMETS ARE NOT INCLUDED IN THE SALE. No data, no serial numbers — they’ll never be able to trace us! The non-firing dummy guns is a shame but I’m sure we can replace them with firework mortars or something. Also, no helmets included? WHO NEEDS A HELMET?! Flying a helicopter with a helmet is like riding a bicycle with a mouth guard and knee pads: overkill. Several more shots, a video of the bird starting, and a link to the auction after the jump.

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Let’s Go Halvsies!: 1965 Huey Helicopter On eBay

Guy: I AM Ezio Auditore. Girl: I’m smexy! Is Monteriggioni like macaroni? When you get right down to, there are very few things I need in the world. The love of a lady with knockers bigger than mine (shit, or smaller — just no penis) and a cool $10-million and I’d be set. That’s only two things — come on Santa! You fat f*** . But the list of things I want , that thing goes on for miles. Nautical ones (they’re a little longer!). Aaaaaaand includes this $55 ‘Monteriggioni’ Assassin’s Creed hoodie . I actually see a lot of Ezio in myself, you know? Plus every time I walk into a room I visualize how I’d silently stab every one of them without anyone else noticing? Because I do that. Jk jk, but one time I did bust ass and then hold the door closed. *leap-of-faiths off cubicle divider* Hit the jump for closeups.

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WANT: Assassin’s Creed ‘Monteriggioni’ Hoodie

This isn’t the first lifesize papercraft Link we’ve seen, it’s just the first one we’ve seen outdoors . Created by DeviantARTist stuioofmm (aka Michaela Something), it’s always nice to see a character in their natural element . Mine? My natural element is in the middle of a epic battle box of Girl Scout Cookies. :/ Link is a life size papercraft model standing around 5′5. He is made completely from 250 gsm paper (about 4x stronger then normal paper). He has foam core supports in the top and bottom of his pants, top and bottom of his boots and a ring in his waist. There is also some in the back of his shield, and in the handle of the master sword. Link is made from 250+ pages, the initial template is 198, but there are layers of strips of paper inside for support, and 831 pieces. I worked on him constantly for a month, working approximately 12 hours each day but sometimes that number could go up to 20. Not gonna lie, when I first saw a thumbnail picture I thought he was a giant piata. “Haha — you would, GW!” I would what — hit that? All night long. Or him me, I don’t care. I swing every which-way, including blindfolded . What can I say, I’m kinky. “Pfft, blindfolds aren’t even kinky.” They are when you’re banging tree-people! Hit the jump for several more shots and a link to the artist’s DeviantART with high-res versions.

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Lifesize Papercraft Link From Legend Of Zelda

There comes a time in every young man’s life when he receives his first soldering iron . To me, that day feels like it was just yesterday. “That was yesterday — you f***ing stole it out of my toolbox .” Haha — finders keepers! About 1983, when I was fifteen, I dropped my dad’s red Bakelite soldering gun and broke the casing. Of course he was upset, so I did my best to “fix it.” So I took my original Star Wars Han Solo pistol and gutted it to hold the soldering gun components. I even ran the lightbulb up into the scope on top. The button on the handle worked well for the trigger switch. Ten years later, when the old house was sold, the gun wound up in my belongings. To this day, when an underpowered iron just won’t do, I pull out the “Han Solderer” and get the job done. Half of me likes the mod, the other half is ill over the fact that I gutted my vintage Star Wars toy. What’s done is done. Sure you gutted your vintage Star Wars toy, but you made it even better . Just like I did with this gutted deer carcass. See? Before it was just a deer. But now — now it’s a gutted deer carcass sleeping bag . Tauntaun tie-in? I think so! A picture of what the original 1977 Blaster toy looked like before modification after the jump.

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Now You’re Soldering Solo Style!: Vintage Han Solo Blaster Toy Modded Into Soldering Iron

Dinosaurs : everybody in their right mind wants one for a pet . But can we have them? Noooooooooooo, scientists are all, “f*** your dreams — we don’t care about you! We’re too busy making money for pharmaceutical companies by developing drugs that cure one thing and give you six others.” Enter this series of dinosaur pet costumes from Animal Planet, probably the closest you’ll ever come to watching a real pet dino run around your house eating cats. Ooooooor licking its own butthole and then trying to give you a kiss. DAMMIT CHLOE, NO — I SAW WHERE THAT TONGUE JUST WAS! And for the record, yes, it did make me love you a little less. Hit the jump for a worthwhile triceratops dog hat and turtle costume.

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Canine Cosplay: Pet Dinosaur Dog Costumes

Note: Larger shots of each poster after the jump, high-res versions available at the artist’s site. This is a small series of Super Mario propaganda posters from Bowser’s camp encouraging Mushroom Kingdomites to join his reptilian republic against his plumber enemies. Two f***ing plumbers! You have thousands of loyal (albeit dumb as question blocks) subjects and you can’t even manage to kill two measly pipe-layers? That’s some sad shit, Bow-Bow. Maybe you should, I dunno, give up on marrying the princess and settle down with a nice koopa troopa. “NEVER — PEACH WILL BE MINE!!” Dude — she doesn’t even like you. That makes you a creeper. Have you ever considered pursuing Birdo? She got that crazy-ass mouth, I’m just sayin! Hit the jump for closeups of each poster and a link to the artist’s website with even higher-res versions and 11″x17″ versions for sale ($30 apiece/$80 for all four).

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Calling All Koopas: Mario Propaganda Posters

Seen here looking suspiciously like the Batamaran (see what I did there? I combined bat and catamaran) I drew for part of my Bat-fan fiction (I’m doing it again!) graphic novel, Juliet Marine’s ‘Ghost’ stealth boat makes an appearance off the coast of New England. It floats on a layer of gas generated beneath it to reduce friction and cruise faster, up to 60MPH. Unless an engine’s leaking, then it floats on a layer of oil and dead birds. :/ Gregory Sancoff, president and chief executive officer of Juliet Marine, said the U.S. government is interested and his company is working with a defense contractor to build a 150-foot model. The friction reducing gas technology, called supercavitation, works by generating a low-pressure zone around the ship’s surface. The Ghost keeps a low radar profile the same way stealth planes do, by making the radar waves bounce off of its surface. Admittedly, I would captain one of those. And, okay, probably straight into a pier. Get it? Because it’s so stealth . I f***ing forgot I was even driving a boat! “Stealth” Boat Could Revolutionize Naval Warfare [nbcnews] Thanks to Jeff and Ferris, who agree the stealthiest boat isn’t a boat at all — it’s a sub. $5 footlongs FTW.

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Look Out Batboat, There’s A New Stealth Boat In Town! (Or, Okay, International Waters)

This is the Wacom ‘Inkling’ ($200, mid next month), a special receiver and pressure sensitive ink pen that records your actual drawings for digital import and computer manipulation AS EITHER BITMAP OR VECTOR GRAPHIX!!!11 Some people might say it’s magic, and those people would be 150% correct. While there are other ink-to-digital pens out there, the difference here is Wacom’s pressure technology. Recording 1024 levels of pressure, the Inkling will capture ever nuance in your drawings. This is how it works: Take the stylus and receiver out of the neat portable box. Clip the receiver on top of any paper notebook and start drawing. Don’t worry about space: the receiver can store thousands of pages, according to Wacom. When you are done after a day, connect the receiver to the computer via USB and browse all your drawings, exporting the ones you like to Photoshop or Illustrator or any typical graphic format, from TIFF to JPG. Not gonna lie, I could see myself drawing a whole lot of penises with one of these. Like easily OVER NINE THOUSAND. Quintuple digits. Enough to fill a swimming pool. Hit the jump for an official video demonstration.

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Wacom ‘Inkling’ Records Everything You Draw, Digitally Imports As Vector/Bitmap Graphics