This is knock-off phone whose logo was made to resemble OPPO’s. Which it does, loosely. But it also spells poop . So that, combined with the phone’s model name, makes it the Poop Love. *brainstorming advertising campaign* The Poop Love: dropping dueces, not calls. Nailed it! Presenting The Poop Phone [crunchgear] via The worst name for a knockoff cellphone, ever [engadget] Thanks to Zeke, who once broke up with a girl after finding out she carried around a Snot Love. A booger eater? Gross!

Link:
I Still Want One: Worst Knock-Off Phone Ever

Balloon Boy’s father, best known for being a jackass loser (and raising boys that look suspiciously like girls, picture related), has gotten into the inventing game, and just released his first POS, the $20 “Bear Scratcher”, a tree branch you screw to the wall and scratch your back on like an animal . A bear specifically. Uh, shouldn’t you be in prison getting your back scratched with penises? “If you itch like a son of a twitch, than you need my latest invention,” shouts a wild-eyed Mr. Heene before rubbing his back feverishly against the Bear Scratch. “Arrrrgh!” he yells, while a twangy country jingle playing in the background praises the device. And Mr. Heene’s Web site promises that hundreds more “very cool gadgets” are coming in the future, for those people — most predictably, the news media — that can’t help but scratch an itch for Mr. Heene’s misadventures. First of all, nobody wants anything that looks like a giant turd hanging on the wall of their home. And secondly — $20 for a tree branch? What do you mean “patent pending”?! How is a stick even an invention?! GOD’S CREDIT BALLOON BOY’S DAD IS STEALING GOD’S CREDIT. Painful commercial for the POS after the jump.

More:
Shouldn’t You Be In Jail?: "Balloon Boy’s" Dad Selling POS ‘Bear Scratch’ Back Scratchers

First the TRON/Marvel mash-up marketing campaign , and now an official line of overpriced TRON garbage for womens . *posing nude on light-bike * I had no idea the ladies were so excited about this movie ! Apparently, there is a market for geeky gear for the ladies too, and Disney is all up on it with some new TRON items. The first product is a pair of spiked platform sandals that cost $795 that would be perfect for any stripper working Comic Com. Those shoes aren’t the only items in the collection from various designers. The price for the gear ranges from $90 to $2,600 and includes earrings and belts. I have to mention the belts if for no other reason than the designer is Han Cholo and the buckle is a golden light cycle. The most expensive piece in the collection is a sterling silver necklace with the icon symbol from the TRON flick. There are pictures of the belt and necklace after the jump, both of which look like complete and utter shit. I’m talking real booboo. So bad even stupid rich people will think twice before buying it. Don’t get me wrong, they still will, but not without a second of hesitation while they’re whipping out the plastic. And speaking of whipping out the plastic — strap-ons: not as cool as they sound. Hit the jump for the rest of the crap.

View post:
Milking It Dry: Disney’s Line Of Official TRON Garbage, Including $800 Hooker Heels

This is a picture of someone who’s been vacuum -packed. Sounds freaky deaky , I know. And that’s because it is freaky deaky . Apparently people like the way it feels. See? Those frozen chicken cutlets don’t have it so bad after all! There’s a video of a human vacuum-packing in action after the jump, and I’ve got to admit: I wouldn’t mind trying it. On you. Tell me, how do you feel about getting dumped in a river afterward? Hit the jump for one more shot, a video of the WTF’ery, as well as a NSFW link (some see-through) to Kink Engineering with even more ZOMGOODNESS.

Continue reading here:
I’m Not Surprised (But Still Deeply Disturbed): A "Han Solo Frozen In Carbonite" Fetish

John Matthews is a man. A man who used to have a little worm eating its way around his eyeball before a doctor PEW PEW PEWed that little SOB with a laser . Lasers: what CAN’T they do? That was a trick question, lasers can do everything. John Matthews loves to hunt turkeys and travel to foreign places like Mexico. During one of those adventures, something crawled inside his body. When two dark spots appeared in his vision and his eyesight became a little hazy, he headed to the doctor. Soon after making the diagnosis, Dr. Folk armed himself with a laser and put the worm in the cross-hairs. John was awake the whole time and said he was thinking, “Hurry up and kill the thing. Good luck shootin’, doc…I saw something wiggling and I asked if the worm was wiggling. The doc said, ‘Yes.’ I said, ‘I can see it.’” Dr. Folk said, “When you hit it with the laser, it got very upset. As upset as a worm can get, I suppose…The thing was just thrashing around violently. It would be like one of those titan movies or something.” The worm is dead. It will decompose over time. Now, John must do computer exercises to strengthen his eye. His vision has improved, but may never return to normal. My God that’s disgusting. As a matter of fact, I’m *this* close to popping both my eyes out with the spoon I just used for yogurt so I don’t ever have to experience that. Seriously, what could possibly be worse than a worm eating your eyeball? Having square eyeballs? F*** that sounds painful. Worm eats Cedar Rapids man’s retina [thegazette] Thanks to FDSY, who’s from Cedar Rapids and is convinced at least half the populace has worms in their brains. I’ve never been there but I believe it.

View original post here:
Don’t Read Before Lunch: Man Finds Worm In Eyeball, Doctor Blasts It To Death With Laser

Another day, another deathbot . I didn’t realize just how quickly humanoid robot technology was progressing until I watched the video of HRP4 here in action. I found it frightening to say the least. I found a turd in the back of my pants to probably say too much. The HRP4 is the latest and greatest in helper robot technology. Developed by AIST and Kawada Industries, this five-foot-tall robot weighs in at 86 pounds and is excited to serve you. The HRP4 has full arm articulation and simple hand movements, giving it a grasping force of 1.1 pounds. It has facial recognition built in, so it’ll know who you are, and it also reacts to voice commands. Now I have no idea how strong a grasping force of 1.1 pounds actually is, but I guarantee it’s enough to choke you out in your sleep. Thank God I’m a light sleeper, amirite? Seriously, I haven’t slept without the lights on since I was twelve. And not just because I used to be visited by a ghost, but in hindsight it did look a lot like my uncle wearing a bedsheet. Worthwhile skip-aroundable video of iRobot in action after the jump.

More here:
DO NOT WANT: Creepy Humanoid Robot

No, despite what Apple may have convinced their minions, it’s never been cool. ESPECIALLY NOT FOR F***ING CHICKEN WRAPS. But did that stop KFC ? Hell finger-lickin’ no! Strapped for cash but sick and tired of the same old cheap eats? Remix your value menu routine with KFC’s new iTwists - delicious, snack-size wraps packed with KFC’s famous chicken and exciting flavor for only 99! Each iTwist features a 100% all white meat Extra Crispy strip, fresh lettuce, and a blend of 3 cheeses, all wrapped up with a signature sauce in a colorful, flavorful tortilla. Try one of our 2 new iTwists today for only 99 each! Kickin’ Jack - Sundried Tomato Tortilla and Spicy Pepperjack Sauce Sweet n’ Spicy - Cheddar Tortilla and Sweet n’ Spicy Sauce My God that sounds delicious aside, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess KFC’s marketing team is a bunch of out-of-touch iDiots. See what I did there?! Haha, you should be embarrassed for me! Official Site (iTwist currently only available in limited test markets) Thanks to Mark IV, who — what are you, number 16? I’ve never been good at letter numbers.

Read more:
Adding An i Is Still Cool?: The KFC iTwist

Barbie Video Girl is a new $50 doll with integrated video camera so girls can make movies of themselves playing in their bedrooms from Barbie’s point of view. This is going to end badly. You dun goofed, Mattel! The Barbie Video Girl Doll ($50, Mattel, for ages 6 and up) looks just like a regular Barbie, but a closer look reveals a camera in her pendant, and a postage-sized color screen on her back, peaking through her blouse. Powered by two AAA batteries (one in each leg), the doll can record up to 30 minutes of Webcam quality AVI video, with a three-button interface. You can watch your recordings on the doll’s screen, but with no sound. Or you can transfer them to your Macintosh or Windows computer by way of the included mini-U.S.B. cable. Granted I would have killed for a He-Man cam growing up so I could have filmed myself playing naked Master of the Universe, but you know what? So would’ve my uncle. Product Site via Lights, Camera, Barbie? [gadgetwise] Thanks to Kate, who sent me a stuffed dino with a camera in the eyes. Nice try, Kate, but I always blindfold him.

Original post:
Bad Ideas: Barbie Video Girl Has Integrated Video Camera

Want to pretend you’re a giant robot ? I will f***ing kill you. But if you’re determined to die by my hand go ahead and pick up a pair of $85 Giant Cardboard Robot Arms from Etsy seller giantcardboardrobot , then give me a call . I’ll be waiting drinking. Arm yourself with giant cardboard robot arms! Perfect for giant robot hugs, super high high-fives, & terrorizing small children. Customize them just for you! Cover them in stickers, paint them, glue stuff to them, or add lights. Treat your new arms as your cardboard canvas. Each arm is approximately 5′ 6″ in length (about 3 feet longer from where your hands will grab), 9″ x 9″ in width. The arms allow for both 90 bending motion in the elbows as well as 360 rotation of the wrist. The arms break down into easily assembled component parts. You know what they say about a guy with giant cardboard robot arms, don’t you? He’s trying to compensate for something . Probably not having a soul, since that’s what differentiates man from machine. I will burn your heartless ass alive, Wannabe-Bot! Now transform and roll out back while I find the lighter fluid. Hit the jump for three more shots and another link to the seller’s Etsy if you’ve really decided it’s your time to go.

Read the original post:
You’ll Only Burn Faster, Card-Bot!: Giant Cardboard Robot Arms Available On Etsy

Free booze : want. Bullet earphones : do not want. These Teknines Nine Millimeter Earphones from MUNITO look like bullets but they are in fact earphones. The copper alloy cases are gold plated and the cords are covered in Kevlar, and yes you will look like a pathetic wannabe gangster if you go out and spend the $250 it costs to get a pair. $250?! Are you out of your gotdamn mind?! I’ll tell you what — you bring me twos shotgun shells and I’ll make you some real earbuds . Plus every pair comes with a free story! One about you and I getting a little farm together and livin’ off the fat of the land. Plus raising rabbits! (That’s when I blow your brains out) Teknines: 9mm Earphones Let You Pay Lots of Money to Look Like a Fool [uberreview]

Go here to see the original:
You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me: Bullet Earbuds