This is a video of a kid’s mom refusing to buy him more Pokemon cards at Toys R Us, and the kid losing his Pokemind in the middle of the store. At first I thought it was fake because why would you be film yourself talking at the checkout of a toy store , then I realized the kid had already started his downward spiral into hysteria BEFORE the film started rolling. Now I’m not saying if I were that kid’s mother I’d have breasts I would’ve made him walk home, because that’s how you get your kids abducted. No, I would have tied a rope around his waist and made him tow the car home. That way I could keep an eye on him. *tapping head* Always thinking, this one. Hit the jump for the wrap it up public service announcement.

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Pokemon Card Freakout At Toys R Us, Kid Throws Snorlax-Sized Hissy Fit

I’m assuming you all saw the first video of a Hunchback Frankencat . But if not don’t worry, I posted that one after the jump too. What I did NOT post after the jump was ‘NO BILLS’. You think I give a shit if you tack a New Kids on the Block poster up in the comments? I do not. That’s your area, you can decorate it however you like. Unless it’s tagging the walls with ‘FIRST’ a million times, in which case I will lock you all in there and set the f***ing building on fire. Hit the jump for the videos.

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See You In My Nightmares: Another Creepy Hunchbacked Rear-Leg-Walking Demon Cat

This is a Wiimote -controlled fire-breathing robot pony being put through its paces (turning head, breathing fire) at the recent Detroit Maker’s Faire by its two mohawk’d creators. The pink one clearly stealing the other’s thunder aside, there is absolutely no reason why anybody should ever make a Wii-mote controlled fire-breathing robot pony (link is to a unicorn — MY BAD). As a matter of fact, even thinking about making one should be punishable by law. AND brainwashing. *toothpicking eyelids open* Now hold still, this won’t hurt a bit. *blasting with pepper spray* Haha, I’m not really sure how the whole brainwashing thing works so I’m improvising. Now, repeat after me: robots are the enemy. “MY EEEEEEEEEEEYES!!” That is not what I said. *shaking can* Hit the jump for the short video of the ‘would not ride into battle’.

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Every Girl’s Dream: Fire-Breathing Robot Pony

Excuse me if I’m writing this while I puke in my shoes but I mean, c’mon, a guy can only take so much . Chick looks like she’s wearing my shower drain around her neck. The human hair necklace…is made by artist Kerry Howley who wants to “make discarded hair attractive again.” NEWS FLASH, KERRY HOWLEY: I don’t know what 17th century castle dungeon you just crawled out of but discarded hair was never attractive in the first place. “Fingernail clippings?” Go — just go. Hit the jump for three others in case this one wasn’t disgusting enough for you.

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Waaaaaay Too Pubey For Me: Hair Necklaces

Honey, I’m sorry, but I don’t even feel comfortable making love with those bottoms in the same room as me . Created by Pale Horse Design and sold by Iron Fist Clothing each matched bikini set ($30) is sure to shrink any man’s turtle at the beach even smaller than it already is (the water’s cold, God!). Because if I know women (and I know women), there’s one thing they’re looking for when swimsuit shopping : A BIKINI THAT’LL MAKE THEIR PRIVATES LOOK LIKE A F***ING MONSTER. *develops body-image issue* Product Site via Monster Bikinis of the Day [geeks.thedailwh.at] Thanks to Claire, who agrees topless is the new bikini.

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Yikes: Monster Bikinis With Toothy Bottoms

British men, upset that woman get to have all the ’sticker crystals on your privates’ fun, have finally gotten their wish with Pejazzles: peel-off Swarovski crystal stickers for your wiener. LOOK LOOK — mine says ‘RAWR’! ‘Women don’t necessarily want a rough and ready man. Some prefer a man who’s groomed and takes care of himself. It’s each to their own,’ But can a man really be taken seriously while decorated with Swarovski crystals - especially ‘down there’ ‘Men wear diamond watches and bling earrings - this is no different ,’ I’m gonna go ahead and go out on a sturdy limb wiener here and argue that, no, penis crystals ARE actually different. Not sure how many times you failed the analogies portion of standardized tests, but my guess is every single one. I can see it now: Question 37. Diamond watches : bling earrings : : diamond cufflinks : WIENER JEWELLLLS!!!!11 After vajazzling comes pejazzling [dailymail] Thanks to ross and Manda, who agree the last thing any guy needs is a bunch of plastic penis stickers coming off inside their girlfriend.

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Your Wiener, Now With More Stick-On Crystals

They look f***in’ delicious. These freaky-ass ‘Transylvanian Naked Neck Chickens’ (yes, really) are chickens with a genetic mutation that gives them turkey-like necks. Or did one bang a giraffe? I’m on to you, Old MacFrankenstein! The scientists said the effects of the genetic mutation were enhanced by a vitamin A-derived substance produced around the bird’s neck. This causes a protein, BMP12, to be produced, suppressing feather growth and causing the bird to have its bald neck, according to researchers at the Roslin Institute at Edinburgh University. The team said the findings could help poultry production in hot countries because chickens with naked necks were better equipped to withstand the heat. You know what other kind of chicken is better equipped to withstand the head? Nuggets. Seriously, they actually taste better if you cook them instead of just sucking on them frozen. But not by much! Experts unravel ‘churkey’ appearance mystery [bbcnews] via Meet the weird bird that’s half-chicken, half-turkey [io9] Thanks to kelly, who wants to know if they’ll still run around for awhile if you cut their heads off. THEY BETTER!

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Freaky Chicken/Turkey ‘Churkey’ Mutants

So apparently there are several species of fungi from Brazilian rain forests that can take over an ant’s brain , control it, and then kill it. Now I know what you’re thinking, and no, you really shouldn’t sell this info to a mad scientist. Originally thought to be a single species, called Ophiocordyceps unilateralis, the fungus is actually four distinct species–all of which can “mind control” ants–scientists announced Wednesday. The fungus species can infect an ant, take over its brain, and then kill the insect once it moves to a location ideal for the fungi to grow and spread their spores. Some of the fungi species create thin “infection pegs” that stick out from a victim’s body and infect passing ants… Other fungus species develop explosive spores on infected ants’ bodies. When other ants come near the cadavers, the shooting spores can hit the unwitting passersby, turning them too into zombie ants. DAMN MOTHER NATURE — YOU’RE EVEN MORE F***ED UP THAN I THOUGHT! And that’s saying a lot because I haven’t forgotten about seahorses and giraffes. I mean, mind-controlling fungus? You’ve got to admit, that’s a little over the top. Also, me on this swingset. Aaaaaaaaand I’m inside-out. Zombie Fungus Rears Its Ugly Head [nationalgeographic] Thanks to Zombeertroll, Shin, Exebech, Albertboltz, Jonathan and Bill, who aren’t afraid of zombie ants because they always roll with magnifying glasses. BUT WHAT IF IT’S CLOUDY?!

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No Picnic Is Safe!: Ants Get Mind-Controlled By Killer Fungi And Turned Into Zombies

Remember BigDog from Boston Dynamics? Ha, how could you forget , it haunts our dreams at night (well at least mine anyways). And now the creators have been awarded a grant from DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) to build ‘Cheetah’, a smaller, faster-than-human version capable of hunting. Basically, a fully-functional killer version of this guy . Greaaaaaaaat. *jams a porkchop between your buttcheeks* As the name implies, Cheetah is designed to be a four-legged robot with a flexible spine and articulated head (and potentially a tail) that runs faster than the fastest human. In addition to raw speed, Cheetah’s makers promise that it will have the agility to make tight turns so that it can “zigzag to chase and evade” and be able to stop on a dime. Aside from its unspecified military applications, Cheetah’s makers see it galloping to the rescue and building a brave new future in the fields of “emergency response, firefighting, advanced agriculture and vehicular travel.” So — is anybody here still convinced the robot apocalypse is just a make-believe story I tell my dogs before bed so they don’t get off the couch in the middle of the night? If so, raise your hand. Skynet — please take all these @$$holes first and give the rest of us a fighting chance. Now — who knows the best way to kill a robotic cheetah? *pointing* You, with the glasses. “With kindness?” Yeaaaaaaaah, you try that. Then, while it’s busy tearing all your limbs off, I’ll shoot it with a rocket launcher. ROCKET LAUNCHER, MORON, ROCKET LAUNCHER WAS THE ANSWER. Darpa’s Cheetah-Bot Designed to Chase Human Prey [wired] Thanks to Kristen and jdivo, who want to know if you throw a robotic cheetah if it always lands on its feet. SPOILER : No. It lands on your face. With its claws out. Then your face disappears.

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BigDog’s Creators Get DARPA Grant To Build A Faster, Human-Hunting Robotic Cheetah

That’s not actually a griffin. I think it’s a cat ass with chicken legs and an eagle’s head . Still, it does look like one though. And if anybody came over for dinner you could probably convince them it’s one. Oooooooor threaten to poison their drink and lock them in the basement, depending on your approach to dinner parties. Me? I usually pass out drunk before the guests arrive and never hear the doorbell. The fire alarm when the stove catches fire, yes. Sarina Brewer is a taxidermist that specializes in stuffed mythical and otherwise freaky beasts. For example, hit the jump for a shot of ‘Frankenpussy’, a cat dressed up like Frankenstein with an eye-patch, peg-leg and smoking a cigar. Wow, that ninth life’s a doozie! Ha, and Fluffy was worried about dying in vain. Hit the jump for Frankenstein cat and a link to Sarina’s website that made me a little too uneasy to surf around looking for more pictures.

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Stuffed Griffins? Mummified Cat Paw Earrings? We’ve Got Those: Custom Creature Taxidermy