These are two ultra-realistic Beavis and Butthead busts created by makeup effects artist Kevin Kirkpatrick. As you can see, they’re even more terrifying than in cartoon form. Definitely NOT the kind of kids you running around in your neighborhood. Actually, I don’t want ANY kids running around my neighborhood, which is why I’ve been looking to buy in a retirement community. “You just want to drive a go-cart.” A man can dream! Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups, but SPOILER: realistic acne.

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Terrifying: Ultra-Realistic Beavis & Butthead Busts

This is a video of several mosquitoes going to town (sucking blood, NOT boning) on some dude’s arm. Why you’d allow that sort of behavior is beyond me, but I suspect it has something to do with dude hoping one of them is radioactive so he can be become Mosquito Man and supervillain his ass into a bank vault. If you’re squeamish, I don’t really recommend watching it. I can honestly say I’ve never needed to watch mosquitoes sucking in high definition until their abdomens are all bloated and red with freshly-sucked blood. Now that I think about, I don’t need to see that in low definition. Shit, or scrambled like a porn channel you don’t pay for! The point is, I regret watching it. You can’t get malaria just from watching mosquitoes, right? “Can you get pregnant just from watching porn?” Good point, I should get tested. Hit the jump and start feeling like phantom bugs are crawling around all over you.

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GAAAAAAH!: Mosquitoes Sucking Blood In HD

This is allegedly 365 applications of makeup applied to a woman’s face over a 9-hour period. The result, which looks like a cross between Kim Kardashian and a burn victim (which would be a great combo in real life by the way) are terrifying, probably even more so to young children. Personally, I don’t like makeup. Unless we’re talking makeup sex , in which case I’m torn because I really don’t like fighting in the first place. Dammit, I’m a lover not a fighter! Just kidding, I am a ninja fighter. And a fire fighter. And, shit, since we’re all being so honest — I can also turn into a fighter jet . “Like a Transformer?” What the — no not like a got-damn Transformer! *firing missiles* Hit the jump for the gunkification in process.

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Really Terrible: What A Year’s Worth Of Makeup Looks Like Applied In A Single Day

Super Mario enemies : a lot of times you felt bad killing them because half of them were just happy little turtles THAT DIDN’T EVEN ATTACK. Enter artist Mike Puncekar, who shows you what those 8-bit graphics couldn’t: the darker side of Mario’s enemies. This is obviously a goomba here, but hit the jump for nine more, all of which are nightmare-inducing. And speaking of nightmares: I had one last night where a friend, under the pretense he’d found a missing shoe of mine, lured me into this basement and tried to kill me . God — what a girl’s willing to go through for a good pair of pumps amirite?! Hit the jump for the creepfest.

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Super Mario Enemies Frighteningly Reimagined

Seen here with an XBox Kinect for a head and about to grope a patient, ‘Cody’ the robot was used in a study conducted by Georgia Tech to learn about how people respond to a robot’s touch . NOT WELL. Boom — study’s a wrap, let’s go drink. “What we found was that how people perceived the intent of the robot was really important to how they responded. So, even though the robot touched people in the same way, if people thought the robot was doing that to clean them, versus doing that to comfort them, it made a significant difference in the way they responded and whether they found that contact favorable or not,” Although Cody touched the subjects in exactly the same way, they reacted more positively when they believed Cody intended to clean their arm versus when they believed Cody intended to comfort them. In addition, Kemp and his research team tested whether people responded more favorably when the robot verbally indicated that it was about to touch them versus touching them without saying anything. “The results suggest that people preferred when the robot did not actually give them the warning,” said Tiffany Chen, doctoral student at Georgia Tech. “We think this might be because they were startled when the robot started speaking, but the results are generally inconclusive.” Regardless of “intent,” I can guarantee I’d respond the same way no matter what: grab whatever touched me (yes, even a peener), break it off, and beat its owner to death with it. Which, fun fact: is my same MO for alien contact. TOUCH MY BUTT, YOU BIG GREEN PERVERT, I DARE YOU! *poke* Ooh la la. Okay that I could get used to. Hit the jump for a brief video explanation.

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STUDY: How Do Humans Respond To A Robot’s Touch? SPOILER: I’d Scream

Hacking a toy’s remote-contro l mechanism to open your blinds when you wake up in the morning: cool. Hacking a toy’s remote-control mechanism directly into a cockroach’s nervous system to make it turn whatever direction you want it to: WAIT — WHAT THE F***?! By modifying the HEXBug toy “Inchworm” circuitry to deliver pulses, we stimulated the antenna nerves of the discoid cockroach to “trick” the cockroach into turning upon command. Stay tuned! as we make the preparation easier, more reliable, and lighter! Granted we’ve already seen the same performed on flying beetles , but I felt like there was a lot more that went into that. I didn’t know you could just take a toy apart, poke some wires into a cockroach and be good to go. What if the mad scientists find out about this?! SPOILER : MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Get it? Because that’s how they laugh. Hit the jump for the ‘oh God please squash it, please squash it!’ in action.

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NO: Bionic Cockroach Controlled By Remote

This is a Terminator in a Spongebob skin made out of LEGO . I, for one, am never eating another Krabby Patty for as long as I live. Which, since I’m a sorcerer, is forever. That’s right, I’m gonna put the Krusty Crab out of business! And speaking of Krusty Krabs *drops trou* Give it to me straight, doc, how do I get rid of ‘em? “Holy f*** — I’ve seen smaller Alaskan king crabs!” Sooooooo…sell them to Red Lobster? What’re you trying to tell me? Hit the jump for several more shots, including one from the back showing his inner-workings.

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Spongebob Actually A Terminator In Disguise

That’s right folks, scientists have developed a network that autonomous robots can use to send and obtain directions on how to perform various tasks (i.e. punch through your face). *moves doomsday clock forward to 11:59 and 30-seconds* RoboEarth is an attempt at creating a sort of Google Earth/Internet for robots, a place where standardized navigation and object information can be uploaded, stored, and then downloaded by a bot that needs it. Scientists and researchers from the Technical University of Eindhoven, Philips & the universities of Stuttgart, Mnchen, Zaragoza & Zurich have just made a huge breakthrough with RoboEarth. They have managed to get the TechUnited AMIGO robot (pictured above) to download all the information it needs for a specific task and then carry out this task. The task seems simple, the robot had to pick up and serve a bottle of water to a person. The AMIGO was successful in doing this autonomously. Worried yet? “Nah, I can take ‘em.” Daaaaaaw, that’s cute — but no, you couldn’t. You can’t even take a piss without hosing your own feet, let alone fight a robot apocalypse. But thankfully for you, there’s me. Fear not, ladies and gentleman, you have my personal guarantee that when the robotic shit hits the fan, I’ll be the first person to take up arms, then sneak out the back and blast off into outerspace to colonize another planet with the finest-ass space-honey. Later jerks! Hit the jump for a video demo (set to blaring techno, seriously — whose brilliant f***ing idea was that?!) of the system that’ll kill us all.

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Real Skynet Now Exists, Apocalypse Imminent

Seen here getting eye-f***ed by Ken Jennings, IBM’s supercomputer ‘Watson’ beat the two most successful Jeopardy contestants to date (Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter) during a practice round before today’s taping of the official showdown airing February 14th. Move over butthole-shaped chocolates , you’re getting a robot apocalypse this Valentine’s! Not a single question was answered wrongly, and at the end of the match Watson, who answers questions with a cold computer voice, telegraphing his certainty with simple color changes on his “avatar,” was ahead with $4,400, Ken had $3,400, and Brad had $1,200. Alright, a “win” for silicon for now, but without any Double Jeopardy or Final Jeopardy it’s hard to tell how well Watson will do in a real match. What’s clear is that he isn’t dumb, and it seems like the best chance the humans will have will be buzzing in before Watson can run through his roughly three second decision process and activate his buzzer mechanically. An extra plus for the audience is a graphic that shows the three answers Watson has rated as most likely to be correct, and how certain he is of the answer he selects — we don’t know if that will make it into the actual TV version, but we certainly hope so. It’s always nice to know the thought processes of your destroyer. $1,200, Brad, really? Way to make us all look bad. Geez, even I could have done better. GW : I’ll take, “Woops I just tripped over a power cord and unplugged Watson for the win please, Alex”. Alex : I’m sorry, GW, but you’re still trailing Ken by $36,000. GW : But he’s been masturbating behind his podium the whole time! Ken : KNOWLEDGE. IS. POWEEEEEEEER!!! Hit the jump for a worthwhile video of the practice round in action.

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Damn You, Skynet!: IBM’s Supercomputer Beats Jeopardy Contestants In Warm-Up

Hey, I warned you. NOT UNSEEABLE usually means you don’t want to see it . Remember that time you climbed on top of the bathroom counter and bent over to peek between your legs and get a closeup of your butt in the mirror ? Well it’s just like that. Except all these have two eyes. ZA-ZA-ZA-ZING! Hit the jump for a couple more and a link to the scarring blog.

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NOT UNSEEABLE: Muppets w/ Human Eyes