[Note to self: remember to delete this tomorrow] So the server spazzed out last night and the last backup was Tuesday afternoon but we’ve managed to repopulate all of yesterday’s eight missing posts (from sea to shining sea the Navy Laser/Gun combo to the Wet Water Homoerotic Hockey or whatever) by painful reconstruction from a Google Reader cache. It was a real kick in the ass to do though so you WILL go back and read them all and you WILL laugh or so help me God I will murder you. Ooooooooor cry my little eyes out. Haha, sike! I have big eyes. Cry my big-ass eyes out. A special thanks to Julien, Alvin and Brittany, who all helped made the impossible possible.

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Yesterday’s Posts Are All Back Up Now

I live in LA and am officially never fixing anything ever again. This is the security camera footage of a local hardware store in Christchurch, New Zealand during a recent magnitude 6.3 earthquake . As you will see, it’s not the place you want to be when the world starts shaking. Standing in a doorframe making sweet, sweet love to a special ladyfriend, yes. I can see it now: “God, you WOULD let an earthquake do all the work!” HAHA — damn bro, now that’s f***in’ lazy! (Double entendre — count it) Hit the jump for the STAY OUT OF THE HAMMER AISLE. (Action starts around 1:00, watch without volume)

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Where Not To Be During An Earthquake: Hardware Store Edition

Tuesday, January 28, 1986. I was only four at the time and didn’t watch the launch on live TV like so many others, but I do remember learning about it soon after and the profound effect it had me as an aspiring astronaut. We live, we die, we learn . In remembrance of (clockwise from back left) Ellison Onizuka, Christa McAuliffe, Gregory Jarvis, Judith Resnik, Ronald McNair, Dick Scobee and Michael J. Smith. See you amongst the stars. Space Shuttle Challenger Disaster on Wikipedia

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25 Years Ago Today: The Challenger Disaster

BP recently admitted to Photoshopping a picture of their Houston-based oil spill command center to make it seem like the workers there don’t just play Minesweeper and make dead sea turtle jokes all day. Little did they know. You can’t fool the American public. ROFLOL! BP acknowledges it posted on its website an altered photo that exaggerates the activity at its Gulf oil spill command center in Houston. The picture posted over the weekend showed workers monitoring a bank of 10 giant video screens displaying underwater images. Spokesman Scott Dean says Tuesday that two screens were blank in the original picture and a staff photographer used Photoshop software to add images. He says the photographer was showing off his Photoshop skills and there was no ill intent. Damn, Mr. Photoshop! Copying an image from one monitor and pasting it on another? NOW YOU’RE JUST SHOWBOATING. Has Adobe approached you about teaching classes yet? No? Shocking . Kidding, it’s because you blow. BP’s altered photo distorts spill center activity [comcast] and BP moving into Photoshopping? [jcjanderson] Thanks to Lord Tarl and Jim, who Photoshopped a picture of themselves cutting BP’s peener off with a pair of lobster claws. I’ll admit, it’s erotic in a BSDM sorta way.

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BP Photoshops Picture To Make Oil Spill Command Center Look More Command-y

Note: This picture is small and I had to crop it click HERE to see the sadness in depressing high-resolution. This is a shot of a wave crashing in Orange Beach, Alabama . As you can see, it looks like absolute crap, which really got me thinking: there’s probably a lot of whale shit in the ocean , and I should stop drinking beach water. But it’s so salty! Eyewitness: BP oil spill [guardian] Thanks to Uncle Fester, who may or may not have touched Pugsley inappropriately (geez, just look at the guy).

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So Much For Bodysurfing: Alabama Oil Waves

There are good ideas and there are great ideas . This is a f***ing terrible one. Nuking the oil leak to cover that shit in rubble and seal it off. Plus birth Godzilla! (which, admittedly, I am for) A plan proposed to detonate a nuke to seal off that troublesome oil well is gaining support with each of BP’s failures. The Russians apparently used the tactic five times between 1966 and 1981. They went four for five. Will it ever happen? According to an anonymous source at the Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico — y’know, the guys and gals who created the Bomb in the first place — no. “It’s not going to happen,” continuing on with “Technically, it would be exploring new ground in the midst of a disaster — and you might make it worse.” Listen: I know James Cameron may be some kind of expert on submersibles and underwater filming, but if you’re considering atomic warheads you’re gonna need me on the team . Because I’m an atomic expert. Just sayin’, one time I nuked a hotdog for three minutes before it exploded. Nuking the oil spill, a ‘crazy’ plan that’s gathering steam [dvice]

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Smart Thinking: Okay Forget James Cameron, Let’s Just Nuke That Oil Spill! (Yes, Seriously)