Finally. God, I couldn’t even tell you how long I’ve been looking for a decent dino skeleton in a tiny bottle. I’m lying, I actually do know how long. It’s been like, the time between when I first got the tip in my inbox and clicked the link. So like, 30-minutes (I made a sandwich in between!). Etsy seller TinyWorldInABottle sells just that, tiny worlds in bottles (but not real ones like that cat that carried a universe around in its collar in Men in Black). Actually, they don’t actually sell worlds, they’re just little scenes. And speaking of little scenes: ACT 1 (Friday, 5:00PM — a disheveled plumper in a dirty kitchen with a bottle of bourbon) GEEKOLOGIE WRITER WOOP WOOP — Friiiiiiiiiiiday! I’mma drink till I pass out. (GW drinks till he passes out, possibly will vomiting to add a sort of ‘Is he gonna survive?’ twist ending) FIN Hit the jump for several closeups (they’d have to be otherwise you can’t see shit!) along with a bottle of seaturtles hatching and another with three dinos. Yow yow!

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Finally, Some Decent Dino Skeletons In Lil’ Jars

Johan Huibers, who may or may yes need to stop eating spicy food before bed, had a dream that part of his native Holland flooded . So what did he do — wake up and have a cup of coffee? Hell no — he started construction on a “full-size” replica of Noah’s Ark . I, uh, I would have done the coffee thing. Or — OR — gone back to sleep until I had a good dream. The almost-finished vessel you see pictured above is actually Huibers’ second whack at making an ark of his own. The first was a half-sized replica, though this time the Dutch construction company director decided to go whole hog. It’s even seaworthy, and Huibers plans for his ark to float along the Thames in London ahead of the 2012 Olympics. Though we really have no way of knowing, Biblical scholars peg Noah’s Ark as being somewhere around 300 cubits in length, 50 wide and 30 high. In feet, that translates into a vessel 450 feet long — or about the same as a Romulan Bird-of-Prey — and 75 feet wide and 45 high. Johan’s second ark took three years and $1.6-million of his own dough to complete, but, from the look of it, would only take one un-extinguished cigarette to burn to the waterline . What do you know — I guess Noah really did have good reason for leaving the dinosaurs behind! Get it?! Because their sexy asses be smokin’. Mm mm mmm — just thinkin’ about ‘em makes me feel like I got curry in my penis! Hit the jump for an NBC news report.

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Johan’s Ark: Man Dreams Of Apocalypse, Builds Functional (It Floats) Noah’s Ark Replica

Geekologie’s illustrator in residence Jesse Starr created these velociraptor awareness bumper stickers to remind motorists to share the road with our reptilian brethren. Because you never know, that could have been one of my illegitimate dino-babies you just ran over. The full-size bumper stickers are $4.75 and available over at Daily Stickers (gosh, I hope they have scratch & sniffs!) Get one and show your support for dinos. It’s already bad enough our cars run on the creamy black remains of their ancestors. Why do you think all the dinosaurs were so angry in Jurassic Park? Because the park rangers tied rope around their balls like rodeo bulls, silly! Product Site and Jesse’s Facebook

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Velociraptor Awareness Bumper Stickers

Jurassic Park better change their lunch menu. In a report that shouldn’t surprise anybody who’s traveled back in time to have sex with them, numerous species of dinosaurs previously thought to be carnivorous may, in fact, have been herbivorous. Pfft, like I haven’t seduced a coelurosaur with a veggie-wrap before. Lindsay Zanno and Peter Makovicky of the Field Museum in Chicago used statistical analysis to conclude that 90 species of theropod dinosaurs ate a plant-based diet, especially among coelurosaurs, the most bird-like dinosaurs. Through their analysis, the researchers found that 44 theropod species distributed across six major lineages ate plants and that the ancestor to most feathered dinosaurs and modern birds had probably already stopped eating meat only during the Cretaceous Period, some 145 million to 65 million years ago. In light of the large number of plant eaters during that period, the carnivorous diet of T Rex, Velociraptor and other meat-eating coelurosaurs should be viewed “more as the exception than the rule,” Dr Zanno said. “It’s time to start seeing these animals in a new evolutionary context,” Dr Zanno said. Not only is it time to start seeing these animals in a new evolutionary context, it’s time to start seeing them naked in my bed. YOU BETTER BRING AT LEAST ONE THIS YEAR, FAT MAN! US paleontologists say most bird-like dinosaurs ate plants [theaustralian] Thanks to Peter, who takes everything these “scientists” say with a grain of salt. Also, the rest of the salt and the margarita it came with.

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TIME TO CHANGE THE HISTORY BOOKS: T-Rex, Raptor Relatives Were Plant Eaters

About sex than a dino orgy ? There aren’t any . Are you getting this, the birds and bees ?! Your shit doesn’t even make sense! I’ve NEVER seen a bird and bee do it. The closest I’ve come is one wasp making sweet, stingy love to another, much deader wasp in the window sill. And one may have actually been a hornet! Hit the jump for more dino-on-dino action (this time in a conga line!).

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What Better Way To Teach Your Children…

Okay, so here’s the gameplan: you run to the bank for singles while I stuff my pants with chicken . One two three, BREAK! Geekologie’s Facebook Page Thanks to Jonathan and Julien, who don’t send tips as much as post them on Geekologie’s Facebook page. Hey I know, that tip form can be tricky.

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So Hot: The Sexiest Thing I’ve Seen All Day

Dinosaur metal: arguably the best thing to come out of music since the skin flute . Toot toot tootle toot! Hevisaurus was a band made up of members from legendary band Dio and Sonata Arctica. Their goal was to recrod heavy metal for children. After an intense brainstorming session, someone thought of buying a bunch of dinosaur suits and the idea stuck. The music itself is in Finnish, but the lyrics usually deal with popular children’s stories and, you know, dinosaurs. Because that’s the heart of metal. There’s a worthwhile video of a Hevisaurus concert after the jump, and I’ve gotta admit: I rocked out with my dino-loving peener lighter out. Damn yeah I set the couch on fire! And as soon as I finish this I’m calling the fire department. Hit it for the concert video.

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(Awesome) New Music Genre: Kid’s Dino Metal

How often do I ask you for anything? Almost never, right? Well now I’m asking you for something. Where can I buy and/or get the materials to make this dinosaur necklace ? Because I want one. And, even if my girlfriend doesn’t know it yet, she wants one too. I think if I could just stroke those lucky dino bones while I write, this blog would stop sucking so hard. And by sucking I mean suckling . Nipples. GEEKOLOGIE IS THE TITS. Cool Dinosaur Necklace [collthings] Thanks to Mel and Tiff, who had matching dino-bone anklets until I hid under their car and cut them off when they were unlocking the doors. I got dragged 8 blocks but it was worth it. And to Jessica, who kicked the knife out of my hand and backed over me.

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Help: Where Can I Buy This Dino Necklace?

Turns out the ferocious T-Rex (who, I would like to mention, is a brutal lover) actually started as a tinier , much more manageable size. OMG — I’m going to grow them in my roommates closet! Also, weed. About 125 million years ago a tiny version of Tyrannosaurus rex roamed what is now northeastern China. Tiny, that is, by T. rex standards — you still wouldn’t want to meet it face to face. Described by paleontologist Paul Sereno as “punk size,” this early predator stood about nine feet tall. It just seems small compared to the giant T. rex that evolved millions of years later and was as much as 100 times more massive. “It really is the blueprint for the later (T. rex) dinosaurs,” Sereno said, “it was a blueprint that was scalable.” The Geekologie Writer is currently seeking funding for a dinosaur farm. I will pay both interest and dividends on your investment. If interested, please send non-consecutive, unmarked bills in a Christmas card to: The Geekologie Writer 541 The Anti-Robot Way Dinotopia, Never Never Land (NOT THE RANCH) 8675309 Thanks, I look forward to taking your money and having sex with dinosaurs doing business with you. Early, smaller version of T. rex discovered [googlenews] Thanks to Amanda, Aaron, Kelly, Ryan, Henry, Brent, darkfall13, shawno, Jackie, Ian, Dianne, delinear, Priscilla, Nate, Lynz, CertifiedHobo, Dane, ech0z, Jose, Bethy and e., who I’m totally gonna solicit as babysitters once the operation is underway.

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Tyrannosaurus Rex Ancestor Was Smaller, More Manageable Size (Read: Swooooon)

Ugobe, the makers of the $350 robotic dinosaur “Pleo”, have filed for Chapter 7 .

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Pleo extinct