I don’t know, but it doesn’t sound good . I better finish my rocket double-time before this thing goes and swallows up the solar system. WHO’S COMING WITH ME? I have room for three. Plus snacks. Operators of the world’s largest atom smasher on Friday ramped up their massive machine to three times the energy ever previously achieved, in the run-up to experiments probing the secrets of the universe. The European Organization for Nuclear Research, or CERN, said beams of protons circulated at 3.5 trillion electron volts in both directions around the 17-mile tunnel housing the Large Hadron Collider under the Swiss-French border at Geneva. The next major development is expected in a few days when CERN starts colliding the beams in a new round of research to examine the tiniest particles and forces within the atom in hopes of finding out more about how matter is made up. Not to put a damper on your weekend, but we’re all as good as dead. So you know what that means — drink like you’ve never drank before!* *Geekologie accepts no responsibility for alcohol poisoning but will take all the credit if you manage to score some awkward, drunken sex. Atom Smasher Sets 3.5-Trillion Volt Energy Record [foxnews] Thanks to hybridsix, who promises to sabotage the machine with more bread. Smart, hybridsix, way to buy us some time.

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What Does That Even Mean?: Large Hadron Collider "Sets 3.5-Trillion Volt Energy Record"

I don’t want to ruin the premise of this little video for you but basically the infamous Star Wars word crawl from the beginning of all the movies starts falling to earth and the Enterprise has to come save us. Woops . I’m not good at keeping secrets either. Youtube Thanks to bowzee, who may or may not be Bowser’s feminine brother.

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We’re All Gonna Die!: Star Wars Vs. Star Trek

This is a video of a bunch of different robotic hands showing how dexterous they are at bouncing balls , gripping things, throwing things, catching things and a bunch of other fun stuff robots shouldn’t be allowed to do. I mean, what is this, robot gym class? Next thing you know they’re gonna be whipping your ass with a wet towel in the locker room. WHICH IS ONLY FUN WHEN TWO GROWN MEN DO IT. Am I right guys? Love that game. Youtube Thanks to Chris and Aroinak, who once shot a bot in Reno and didn’t even stick around. Way to go guys, there could have been more.

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Robotic Arms Have Come A Long Way. A Long, Much More Deadly Way (Hold Me)

Wow, they’re not even trying to make them look cute anymore. The Japanese born ROBOTOPS is a construction robot whose name is spelled in all caps because IT MEANS BUSINESS. The killing business. The four-legged, two-armed robot is actually a kind of automated mobile crane with 29 functioning joints for picking off humans, and of course the occasional piece of construction material. Using a high quality three-chip CCD camera, the robot can be operated remotely for particularly dangerous jobs. And no, I didn’t alter that quote at all. Finally, people are starting to get the picture. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one that sees a problem here. Seriously, Japan — you know I love you (manga, sushi, worn panty vending machines), but this shit has got to stop. Because if not, well, Godzilla . Just sayin’, we share a special bond (read: intercourse). Japanese construction firm unleashes insectoid robot crane on humanity [dvice] Thanks to cougar78, Aaron and John, who know the only good robots are the little guys from Batteries Not Included . Am I right? No, that was a test and you all failed.

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No, No, No: Japanese Killer Construction Bot