Man Attempts Gas Theft From Church Van, Sets Himself, Van Ablaze

Some moron decided it would be a good idea to attempt stealing holy gas from a church van. Only problem is, Jesus wasn’t having it . BURN HEATHEN, BUUUUURN! Blake King, 24, was reported in stable condition Wednesday in Vanderbilt University Hospital’s Burn Center. Evansville police report King was burned as he was using a cordless drill to drill into the gas tank of a 2001 Chevrolet van on the lot of Abundant Faith Church, 1228 Lodge Ave. Something sparked, according to the police report, catching the van on fire and burning King . The fire leaves the church without one of its two vans, which was supposed to help transport youth members to St. Louis this weekend. Officers arrived and found King, who told them he was burned when he stopped at 1228 Lodge Ave. to help another man who was on fire. Firefighters and fire investigators found a cordless drill next to the van. LOLWUT — cordless drilling a gas tank?!?! Let’s say you somehow managed to not set your dumbass on fire, what were you gonna do when the gas started flowing? Catch it in your mouth and spit it into a bucket? Okay that’s actually pretty good. Police: Man caught self on fire trying to steal gas from church van [courierpress] Thanks to Dakota, who tried electric drilling a dairy truck once and ended up with nothing but a milk mustache. I’m not gonna lie, you look handsome.

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Man Attempts Gas Theft From Church Van, Sets Himself, Van Ablaze

Hurt People, So Funny!: Best Fails Of 2009

Because there’s nothing more enjoyable than watching jackasses hurt themselves attempting feats of stupid , this is a compilation of the best (and most painful) fails of 2009. It’s chock full of future Darwin Award recipients, and I wouldn’t be surprised if half these jokers don’t make it to 2011 (please exit the gene pool ladder left). Although, as a guy who’s shattered his arm twice and now has a Luke Skywalker arm, I want to cut it off and be human again. Best Fails of 2009 [collegehumor] Thanks to Fran, who has never broken a bone, but has cracked a few skulls.

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Hurt People, So Funny!: Best Fails Of 2009

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