This is a bust (like taytays!) created by artist Ryan Renders of Darth Vader and Skeletor’s lovechild. Now I’m not sure who was the top and who was the bottom in the relationship, but Skeletor doesn’t wear anything but a hood and a loincloth — you do the math . “Yeah but Vader gets all soft at the end of Return of the Jedi — he was probably the bottom.” Okay you are getting way too in depth on this. Hit the jump for some close-ups.

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Evil Incarnate: Darth Vader x Skeletor Mashup

Two dudes dressed as Jedis battling it out on electric cellos with lightsaber bows while Darth Vader gets his dark side loving rocks off in the background? This is the internet folks, it was practically made for shit like this. Back me up, Al Gore. “POLAR BEARS ARE DYING.” Oh Jesus, not this again. Hit the jump for the I always wanted to play the cello. “You mean skin flute?” I mean skin flute.

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WTF Did I Just Watch?: Star Wars Cello Battle

Another day, another person playing the Imperial March on pieces of obsolete computer equipment (another 3.5″ floppy attempt HERE and a hard drive version HERE ). Admittedly, this is probably the best-sounding one to date. My last date? She sounded like a banshee screaming like someone just cut her off. She actually tried ordering dinner at the restaurant when I was in the restroom pleasuring myself to my own reflection and when I came out everybody had turned to stone. You know what I did? I stole all their wallets. That’s really the only reason I dated her. That and her apartment had hot water and electricity. Hit the jump for the short but sweet video.

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Vader’s Imperial March On 3.5" Floppy Drives

Because there’s LITERALLY F***ING ZERO Star Wars merchandise George Lucas won’t license if you line his pockets enough, here’s a hairdryer styled after Darth Vader’s iconic mask. It’s perfect for the person that’s been hoping to add a little Star Wars flair to their bathroom, but is afraid a C-3PO electric toothbrush will just make them look desperate (and it will). Plus your girlfriend’s gonna loooooooove this thing. “This is a hair dryer , I asked for a hair straightener . Does this look like a CHI to you?” “But baby — it’s the Vade. ” “I guess you didn’t want to see me in those Leia hairbuns after all.” They sell CHI’s at that mall kiosk, right? If I park in a fountain I can be back in 20. Hit the jump in case you simply can’t live the rest of your life without seeing the back of a conceptual Darth Vader hairdryer.

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But He Was Bald: A Darth Vader Hairdryer

Setting the record for the longest (length-wise) LEGO production set to date, the 8-pound, 3,500-piece, 50″ Executor will go on sale September 1st for a cool $400. And I’d be tempted to build one except A) it costs $400 and B) that’s a lot of money that C) I don’t have. So yeah, looks like I’ll be watching my roommate put his together. Maybe he’ll let me snap a couple bricks into place. Me : Hey bro, mind if I put a couple pieces together? Him : Yes, actually I do. Me : Oh come on — who bought the beer you’re drinking? Him : I did. Me : And who’s been drinking it all? Him : You have. Me : Sooooooooooo…? Lego Super Star Destroyer 10221 [thebricklife] (with a ton more info, pictures and an interview with the designer. Thanks to Roger Wilco, who — damn I miss those games. Fly shotgun in my rocketship on Faceybooks and Tweeter

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Longest Production LEGO Set To Date: Darth Vader’s Super Star Destroyer, The Executor

Because I’ll continue getting this tip for days to come if I don’t post it, here it is — a parody of the New York Times article about President Obama announcing that terrorist Osama Bin Laden was killed, except with Darth Vader announcing the death of Obi-Wan Kenobi instead . One tipster (Jim) even went as far as to included this note, “Post it up pretty boy. Or else i’ll come to your house and start krumping in your living room.” Jim clearly appreciating my delicate facial features aside, the last thing I need is a krump-fest in my living room while I’m trying to write. An excerpt: In a late-night appearance in the East Room of the Imperial Palace, Lord Vader declared that “justice has been done” as he disclosed that agents of the Imperial Army and stormtroopers of the 501st Legion had finally cornered Kenobi, one of the leaders of the Jedi rebellion, who had eluded the Empire for nearly two decades. Imperial officials said Kenobi resisted and was cut down by Lord Vader’s own lightsaber. He was later dumped out of an airlock. You can hit the link to read the much-more in depth article, which, admittedly, was fairly humorous and very well written. Not unlike Geekologie. “Pfft — in your dreams you grammarless hack!” Again with the trying to hurt feelings — what happened to you when you were growing up to make you like this? “I banged your sister!” HA — that would explain it (sorry, Stacy). Obi-Wan Kenobi Is Dead, Vader Says [galacticempiretimes] Thanks to The Honorable Grant Lemasters, sammy, Erin, Plarix, Stormtroopah, Nick, TK 745 and Jim, who agree MOST news is just a parody of what actually happened. Hey I’m with you.

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Vader Announces Death Of Terrorist Obi-Wan

“Luke, I may be broken, but I’m still your father — please don’t piss on my chest panel.” This is a broken urinal dressed up to look like Darth Vader . Because if there’s one thing that’s gonna prevent a man from pissing all over a broken urinal , it’s dressing it up like a Star Wars villain. *straining to pee with more Force* Hit the jump for one more closeup in which you can see the photographer’s face (NOT penis) in a reflection.

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*Whipping Out Lightsaber* I’ll Show You What I Think Of The Dark Side!: A Darth Vader Urinal

Cheer up bro, that’s a good lookin’ samwich! Because you should never make people wait to see the 1-minute commercial you’re paying $6-million to air during the Super Bowl, this is Volkswagen’s Star Wars inspired ad. I don’t want to ruin it for you, but I’m pretty sure that kid not only tried to Force-choke a baby-doll , but his dog as well, indicating some rather serious psychological issues that should probably be addressed before it’s too late to turn back to the light. “He’s Vader, man, it’s already too late.” IT’S NEVER TOO LATE! “Ever tried the Taco Bell drive-thru at 3AM on a Wednesday?” GAAAAAAH, you have a point. Hit the jump for the commercial you can now ruin for everybody else during the actual Super Bowl.

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VW’s Star Wars Super Bowl Commercial

This is the entire script for the original Star Wars (aka “the first one”, aka “A New Hope”) colored to resemble Darth Vader’s evil (but still very handsome) visage (in a similar style to this Godfather version ). It was created by Geekologie reader David Johns, easily placing him in the top 10% of Geekologie Readers in terms of productivity . Well? Are YOU a 10%’er? SPOILER : Absolutely not — don’t even kid yourself. Note: I was going to host the better-than-desktop-background ultra high-res version but decided to let David’s server do all the heavy lifting (No need to thank me, Dave). Hit the link below to grab it. David’s Website Thanks David, now how about one made out of Geekologie articles with a picture of me bein’ all sensual seductive? I smell a 2011 calendar idea!

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Darth Vader Face Made In Star Wars Script

Alternatively, “Luke, I am your fonter.” God I hate myself for that . And, well, pretty much everything else I’ve ever done. Anyway, because some Geekologie Readers have to go home and give themselves glitterstim enemas if I don’t meet their daily quota of Star Wars posts, here’s a small gallery (read: three pictures) of characters created entirely out of different fonts by Italian ad firm H-57 Creative Station. This is Darth Maul or somebody here, but there’s a Cylon and a Fraggle after the jump. Huh? ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY GEEK CREDENTIALS?! Fine — fine, this is Darth Vader , and there’s a Stormtrooper and Yoda after the jump. What isn’t after the jump is the X-Wingding Fighter I just spent two hours making in Photoshop. I’ll email you a copy for $1 though. Ass Xerox for $2. Hit the jump for the other two.

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Use The Fonts, Luke: Star Wars Typography