Remember the original Jian sword dancing video ? Of course you do, you’ve been practicing those moves in the bathroom mirror with a curtain rod ever since you saw it. Well this is a new one. Except this one’s soundtrack is even better and the gramma actually gets her own scene . Granted she doesn’t actually do any dancing, but I once saw a great aunt throw a hip out dancing at a cousin’s wedding, so it’s probably for the best. Why Aunt Verla thought she could still drop it like it’s hot is beyond me, but I suspect it was all the wine talking . Please, you ain’t got these skills! *trips over dog trying to booty-clap all the way into the kitchen for a snack* Hit the jump, get your nunchucks out of your desk drawer, and follow along. But be warned: girl almost cuts the dog in half at 2:16.

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Jian Sword Dancing, Now With More Gramma Participation!

A video of robots struttin’ their asses to the Bee Gee’s classic, ‘Stayin’ Alive’? Of course. This IS the internet , people. Hit the jump for the video.

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Boston Dynamic’s PETMAN And Big Dog Strutting To The Bee Gee’s ‘Stayin’ Alive’

Awkward move is awkward for brothers. This is a Super Mario themed swing dance routine being performed by Morgan Day and Emily Wigger at the National Jitterbug Championship or something. They didn’t place. It’s still pretty good though. Granted not as dramatic as you could make a Zelda themed swing routine , but I also don’t want to risk somebody desecrating the Zelda franchise for me. So…we get this. Watch it, don’t watch it, I’m on my third birthday beer and it’s 8:24. Hit the jump for the bideo.

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The Ol’ Super Mario Swing Dance Routine

This is a video of the Ironettes’ recent performance at Japan Expo 2011 in Paris, France (you know, the Japan Expo — in France ). For those of who who aren’t familiar with the Ironettes (as seen in Iron Man 2), they’re just like the high-kicking Rockettes, except dressed as incredibly poorly- armored Iron Ladies. Fun fact: shiny spandex won’t stop a bullet. “Yeah — or me from oglin’ that ass!” Gee, let me guess — you have a picture of you with the Dallas Cowboys/Insert Other Team (BUT NOT PENIS) Here cheerleaders hanging up in your man cave. “How’d you…” BECAUSE YOU’RE A TEXTBOOK PERVERT, DUMMY. Hit the jump for the HD iron-ass shakin’ performance.

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Here, Pervert: Ironettes Perform At Japan Expo

I’m dancing, I’m dancing! This video is all over the tubes and I was trying to avoid posting it but now I’m afraid I won’t stop getting the tip unless I do (and probably still will so I really don’t know why I’m doing this besides accidentally drinking decaf this morning). So here it is: a video of a motorcycle crash after which the two bikes intertwine their handlebars and make sweet, sweet circular love. “Yeaaaaaaah, that’s not how motorcycles do it.” Yes it is too. “You don’t know anything about sex, do you?” Yes huh I do! An older kid on the bus said it was like shooting fireworks out of your pecker. “And you believed him?!” Would I have sprayed my pubes with flame-retardant if I didn’t? “That’s hairspray.” I’m rockin’ a new ‘do! Hit the jump for the have seen video.

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Motorcycle Crash And Subsequent Bike Dance

Note: Jump probably NSFW on account of cartoon fantasies coming to life. Anime characters: they’re smokin’ hot, amirite? WRONG!! THEY’RE ALL LIKE 12 YOU F***ING SICKOS. “Hello, police? Yeah I’ve got a whole website of perverts here that need your attention. Oh — and bring extra tasers .” *quick, GW, distract them while the cops get here!* Anyway, the anime-themed show took place at Bordello Bar here in LA (per usual) and the characters and shows they’re from are, in this order: Sailor Moon from Sailor Moon, Pikachu from Pokemon, Ichigo Momomiya from Tokyo Mew Mew, Lust from Fullmetal Alchemist, Trixie from Speed Racer and Rei Ayanami from Neon Genesis Evangelion. I posted a couple shots of each after the jump, but you’ll have to head over to LA Weekly to see them all. *WEE-WOO! WEE-WOO! WEE-WOO! WEE-WEE!* HAHA — ENJOY THE CLINK, PERVERTS!

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Cartoon Cosplay: An Anime Burlesque Show

Note: Video of the chart-bottoming performance after the jump. Can you tell which one is the robot ? SPOILER : back left. Just kidding, it’s the one with the silver legs , moron. Or is it? I thought they all were to be honest. If you’re just joining us, you may not have heard of Yamaha’s HRP-4C (older posts HERE , HERE and HERE ). Well here she is again, this time working it on stage Britney Spears style provided Britney is a no-talent hack who can’t do anything but waddle around on stage waving her arms, which is by far the most accurate comparison I’ve ever made. Now, does anybody else think there might actually be a person in that robot costume? Let’s set it on fire and find out. Hit the jump for the Japanese Pussycat Dolls.

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GAH, BURN IT!: Japanese Singing/Dancing Robot (Now With More Back-Up Dancers!)

Did I really get drunk at lunch and spend the last two hours asleep on the john ? You know I did! And since my brain never recovered from the nap (plus my legs fell asleep and I beat my face on the towel bar standing up), here’s a little burlesque cosplay action to end the week. LA Weekly reporter/photographer Erin Broadly sent me these shots from the recent ‘Ladies of Sci-Fi Burlesque’ show at Bordello (do you need a gaffer next time?) including “Pris from Blade Runner , Ripley from the Alien franchise, Maria from Metropolis , Aeon Flux, Barbarella and Metroid’s Samus Aran.” I posted a SFW shot or two from each act after the jump, but you’ll need to check out LA Weekly’s coverage for the full 42-picture set (some NSFW ). So yeah, if you need me I’ll be drunk for the next 72 hours. Did I say 72? Because I meant 48. No, no I didn’t either. Somebody’s writing tyrannosaurs wrecked on Monday! Hit the jump for a bunch more and link to the entire gallery.

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Sci-Fi Strippin’: More Cosplay Burlesque Action

I remember seeing this video (the original Japanese commercial for The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past ) a long time ago, and you’re probably gonna yell at me because you sent it to me years ago, but you know what? I’m not gonna let it get to me. You can’t make me feel bad. But you can make me a sandwich. And you know what? YOU’RE GOING TO. Triangle cut, no crust, no pubes. Youtube via Zelda dance [wtfjapanseriously] Thanks to Spikey DaPikey and Dan, who actually perform that dance at clubs and impress all the womens.

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Old: Legend Of Zelda Dance-Fest Commercial

I’m pretty sure half the people that sent this in thought it’s an actual robot , but being the astute robot slaya that I am, it wasn’t hard for me to tell this is just a jackass in a robot costume. Don’t get me wrong, I’d still burn that bitch like a witch (or doobie), he just doesn’t pose the threat an actual robot would. Or DOES he? *pew pew!* He doesn’t. Youtube and Youtube (longer, 9:00 video) Thanks to Rich the destroyer, paul, KennethJ, Ted, Mungo9000, chris, Albert, Tuggis, karrameg, Steven, hatcher, Big Bug, parking block and Wendy, who actually knew it was a person the whole time and just wanted to scare me.

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Fake, But Still Burn It With Lasers (You Never Can Be Too Safe): A Scary Dancing Robot