Seen here making me work up a sweat just looking at them (fear AND the thought of exercise), two robots compete in the first (and hopefully last) Robot Marathon in Osaka, Japan. It’s a full, 26-mile marathon that kicked off today (Thursday for you SHAMEFUL, NON-DAILY READERS) and is expected to last until Sunday, because, well, just look at those little legs. That’s the shit they try to serve on 25 wing night! The contestants are expected to take four days to complete the course, which involves 423 laps of an indoor track. Operators are allowed to change the robots’ batteries and motors but if the machines fall over they must get up by themselves. The race is being organised by local authorities and a local robotics firm, which hopes the marathon will become an international event in the future. Organisers say they expect the race to be won not by the fastest robot but by the one that can withstand the most wear and tear. Hey, you wanna know who’s not gonna win the race? Humanity. I don’t care if it takes a robot 4 days to walk 26-miles, you know what they have that we don’t? Endurance . Just sayin’, I collapsed on my way to the fridge this morning and I started from the kitchen floor. I’m light-headed and pukey by the end of every Geekologie article! Hit the jump for — *searching Youtube* yes, hit the jump for a video of the action.

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The Race For Your Life: Robot Marathon Gets Underway In — You’ll Never Guess! — JAPAN

Another day, another deathbot . I didn’t realize just how quickly humanoid robot technology was progressing until I watched the video of HRP4 here in action. I found it frightening to say the least. I found a turd in the back of my pants to probably say too much. The HRP4 is the latest and greatest in helper robot technology. Developed by AIST and Kawada Industries, this five-foot-tall robot weighs in at 86 pounds and is excited to serve you. The HRP4 has full arm articulation and simple hand movements, giving it a grasping force of 1.1 pounds. It has facial recognition built in, so it’ll know who you are, and it also reacts to voice commands. Now I have no idea how strong a grasping force of 1.1 pounds actually is, but I guarantee it’s enough to choke you out in your sleep. Thank God I’m a light sleeper, amirite? Seriously, I haven’t slept without the lights on since I was twelve. And not just because I used to be visited by a ghost, but in hindsight it did look a lot like my uncle wearing a bedsheet. Worthwhile skip-aroundable video of iRobot in action after the jump.

More here:
DO NOT WANT: Creepy Humanoid Robot

Damn, how sexy is that?! If you answered, “wow, not one bit, I think I even vomited a little”, congratulations, you might still have some taste and decency after all. I always thought iPhones were feminine anyways with their smooth lines and all. No, the last phone made with any REAL balls was my old Pronto pager. That thing was a hoss! Besides, what happens if you accidentally lick your iPhone’s balls when you’re making a call? You look super gay. Well … this just disturbs the piss out of me. [hothotjapanhot] via iPhone balls? [buzzfeed]

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I Don’t Get It, I Really Don’t: iPhone Ballz

Remember Japan’s plans to put a humanoid robot on the moon by 2015 ? Well apparently that’s only Phase 1 of their $2 billion master plan , because now they want an entire robotic colony on the moon by 2020. Not if I have anything to do with it! (I don’t is the f***ing problem) As currently envisioned, the robots that will land on the lunar surface in 2015 will be 660-pound behemoths equipped with rolling tank-like treads, solar panels, seismographs, high-def cameras and a smattering of scientific instruments. They’ll also have human-like arms for collecting rock samples that will be returned to Earth via rocket. The robots will be controlled from Earth, but they’ll also be imbued with their own kind of machine intelligence, making decisions on their own and operating with a high degree of autonomy. Those initial surveyor bots will pave the way for the construction of the unmanned moon base near the lunar south pole, which the robots will construct for themselves. That base will be solar powered and provide a working/living space future robot colonizers, as well as — presumably — a jumping off point for future human moon dwellers. God, can you imagine if the first contact we have with aliens is through Japan’s robotic moon colony? They’ll Alderaan our asses! Japan Plans a Moon Base by 2020, Built by Robots for Robots [popsci] Thanks to Mike, Stealth Logic, jondeelee, Tom, Bender and Monsterrod Von Hugenstien, who are all voting ‘NO’ this November on Proposition Moonbase 2020.

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Dammit Japan, That’s Nacho Green Cheese!: Japan’s Plan For Robotic Moonbase By 2020