Because I have to run to a doctor’s appointment this afternoon (72-hour erection) and I need to get some posts up, here’s a Rube Goldberg machine created by kinetic artist Joseph Herscher to turn a single newspaper page. Damn yeah I’ll copy/paste the process to make this article look huge!: Joseph Herscher drinks his coffee (1), which pulls a string, which yanks a pencil (2), which tips paintings one by one as the balls roll down. The third ball rolls into a shelving unit (3) and swings a ladle, which pours glycerin from a jug into a cup, which combines with potassium and combusts. A fuse catches fire and burns, which releases the pool balls (4) one by one. The fourth ball lands in a hanging green shot glass (5), which turns on the gas. Meanwhile, The fuse (still burning) ignites the gas, which boils the liquid and sends steam into a sponge (6), which becomes heavy and tips, sliding a fly swatter (7) up, which releases a ball, which rolls along the top of the books, knocking the other balls and eventually knocking a Velcro-covered ball. The weight of the Velcro ball tips a book (8) out of the bookcase, which opens it and allows a small marble to roll out of the book and knock a vase (9) off the table. Headphones (10) are pulled by the vase, which releases an orange glass (11), which rolls along the slanted table, sticks to the tape (12) and yanks a pencil in the computer (13). The screen shuts and the computer falls off the table, which pulls a cable, switching on a hair dryer (14), which annoys the hamster (15). He runs, which causes the cage to tip. The pool ball (16) rolls along the top of the cage and drops, which knocks a baking pan (17) off the table, which pulls the hair dyer with it and causes tape (18) to roll across the table, sticking to, and turning, the front page of the newspaper (19). That…sounds pretty complicated. Here’s what I’d do: call 911 and tell them you have a house fire. When the firemen show up, tell them you already put it out it BUT MY GOD ARE THEY GOOD LOOKIN’. Then ask one to turn the page for you. Afterwards, ask them all to take their vests off and pose for the 2013 sexy firemen calendar you’ve been planning. They’ll be flattered, trust me. (I made one last year with Animal Control!) Hit the jump for the impressive machine and a link to NY Time’s interactive image of the process.

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God, Just Train A Pet Like A Normal Person: A Newpaper Page-Turning Rube Goldberg Machine

Mad scientists at the University of California Berkeley are now able to create videos of what your brain “sees” after watching a video IRL using a bunch of complicated-ass computer models . Plus — PLUS — videos of Steve Martin with a mustache . Because what would science be without Steve Martin videos? I dunno, but if you think I’m wearing pants under this labcoat you’re dead wrong. Researchers at UC Berkeley used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) and some seriously complex computational models to figure out what images our minds create when presented with movie and TV clips. So far, the process is only able to reconstruct the neural equivalents of things people have already seen, but eventually it might be possible to construct the images people see in dreams and memories. The researchers developed this technique by showing study participants a series of black-and-white photographs while imaging their minds. By comparing the photographs with the scans, they were able to engineer a way to recognize any image from how the brain responded. With that basic principle in place, it was then only a question of building up a sufficiently complex computer model to decode moving, color images like those in the video above. That’s actually pretty wild. There’s a video of several examples (including the ones I screencapped in the picture!) after the jump, and I’ll be the first to admit I’m glad I wasn’t involved in the study. Everything my brain sees looks like privates. You think I can’t turn a car into a boob? Please . *licking grill* The grill is the nipple, see?! Mmmm, dragonflies. Hit the jump for the demo.

Originally posted here:
Scientists: Now With More Ability To Make Movies From What Your Brain Is Thinking

Note: Much larger version HERE in case you’re looking for an out-of-this-world (but not solar system) wallpaper. This is allegedly a real picture (although I have my doubts — NASA ) of a massive storm on Saturn that has wrapped around the entire planet and caught up with its tail (the fainter discoloration below the brighter one). Impressive, but my dog does that shit all the time . Plus hock up unchewed kibble on the carpet. Given Saturn’s diameter of about 120,000 km (72,000 miles) and the latitude of the storm (call it 45), this monster system must be well over 300,000 km (180,000 miles) in length! That’s three-quarters of the way from the Earth to the Moon. Crazy. But equally crazy: how the photo was shot dead-on with Saturn’s rings so they only appear as a line. Now that’s nuts. And not little ones like pistachios either, I’m talking some bigass ones — like coconuts . “You’re so dumb GW, coconuts aren’t even nuts — the Coco de Mer is actually the world’s largest botanical nut and can weigh over 60-pounds.” Hoho — sounds like we’ve got a nut-lover in the audience! *teabag, teabag* BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. A storm wraps around Saturn [badastronomy] Thanks to Julian, who’s particularly fond of space because that’s where cheese comes from. Yeaaaaaaaaah, I’m not sure who told you that, Julian, but they are 100% correct! (It was probably me)

Excerpt from:
Storm On Saturn Wraps Around Entire Planet

This big . Around 1,300 lbs to be inexact. Plus “its heartbeat can be detected from two miles away and a human can fit in its arteries.” Not only that, I heard their sperm are the size of jet-skis . Just kidding, I’d still ride on one though. MyWhaleWeb (hey mine shoots webs too!) via How Big Is a Blue Whale’s Heart? [geekosystem] Thanks to Melissa, who really loves whales. Like, to the point where she has stickers of them all over her Trapper Keeper. Nice, psycho.

The rest is here:
Wonder How Big A Blue Whale’s Heart Is?

Note: Video of Princess Pissypants is after the jump. Further proving the questionable reality of her initial video , Starcraft II Beta Breakup girl is back at it, this time smashing one of her ex-boyfriend’s windows with a brick and tossing a running hose in the hole. WTF, PSYCHO?! Admittedly, the ol’ running hose in a window is one of my favorite paybacks, but this girl didn’t even wait for guy to go on vacation. YOU DID IT WRONG, STUPID! Now — enough of the attention whoring, back to crying into a pillow and wishing you dated a vampire. Hit it for the video.

More here:
FAKE: Starcraft Breakup Girl Is Back At It

Finally, a sport manly enough for yours truly. Sorry guys, but I’m officially retiring from lava diving and shark rodeo. Now, which one of you handsome gents wants the honor of receiving my first highly-toxic pummeling? You in the front row — scrawny guy with the eyepatch. In the wheelchair. BRING IT, I WILL DESTROY YOU! Hit the jump for a bunch more shots, moderately graphic due to blood.

Excerpt from:
WTF Japan?: Fluorescent Tube Fighting

This is a conceptual solar powered BMW . It may look like a fish , but it’s not, it’s a car , silly! Well, not a real car, cause it’s only a concept . Like me. I ONLY EXIST YOUR INTERNET! Created by 24-yo German designer Anne Forschner, the Lovos stands fo Lifestyle of Voluntary Simplicity. Each of those scales–which are replaceable and turn constantly to align with the sun–is covered with solar cells. Now I’m no aerodynamicist, but that shit looks like it’ll slow you down. AND I CAN’T DRIVE 55, know what I’m saying? It’s against my law! The Geekologie law of awesome. Which, honestly, makes gravity look like a little bitch. Hit the jump for a bunch more shots of the craziness.

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Frightening: Conceptual Solar Powered BMW

This is a video of an F-18 Hornet buzzing some guy’s head so close you can taste the jet fuel . Now I’m not saying this thing would kill you if it hit you, but it would certainly mess your hair up. Also, not to brag or nothin’, but one time I let a jet land ON MY FACE. Now who’s the man?! F-18 Hornet Ultra Low High Speed Fly By [todaysbigthing] Thanks to Matt, who once flew a prop-plane through a barn and accidentally hit a chicken.

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Balls Of Steel: F-18 Hornet Buzzes Man’s Head