They’re not universal? Somebody sent their mom to the store for a PS3 controller and she came back with an X-Box one . So what did they do? Sent her back to exchange it without even giving her a decent lie to cover the mistake. Now it’s here on the internet for everyone to make fun of. God, she was doing you a favor, you know? You DID come out of her vagina. You could have just told her to say ‘wrong color’. You oughta be ashamed of yourself. The Infinite Agony Of Tech Retail Condensed Into One Image [nerdapproved] Thanks to Wilmersama, who doesn’t give reasons for returning things, just a stink-eye.

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Sadness: X-Box Controller Won’t Connect To PS3

This is a “life-size” (~5′8″ if she were standing upright) mural of Samus Aran made from painted Nintendo game cartridges from different systems. It was originally commissioned by used-game retailer JJGames, but now they’re selling it on eBay. Presumably because they realized it looks like shit. Kidding, I’m just saying that to keep bidding down. Or am I? You and I both know this sucks. Hit the jump for some closeups and a link to the auction.

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Samus Aran Mural Made From Game Cartridges

Microsoft and LucasArts just unveiled a limited edition Star Wars themed XBox/Kinect bundle (available December 31st, 2011, $450) at Comic-con because, hey, people will buy that. What they won’t buy is that you’re a human sent back from the future just because you had a hat embroidered with “Happy New Year 2021″. Disappointing, I know. The hardware includes a custom R2-D2-themed 320 GB Xbox 360 console, which features unique sounds from the Star Wars movies; a white Kinect sensor; and a gold C-3PO-themed Xbox 360 wireless controller. The bundle will also include copies of “Kinect Adventures” and “Kinect Star Wars,” which invites players into the Star Wars universe. The game will allow fans to physically experience Jedi training and wield the Force - and of course a lightsaber - right in their living room through controller-free gameplay. I’m not gonna lie, I have always wanted to wield the Force. Also, a battle axe . But have I? Nooooooooooo, the blacksmith is always, “your arms are too weak” or “you’ll cut your legs off”. Hit the jump for a shot of the shiny C-3PO inspired controller.

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Special Edition Star Wars XBox & Kinect

Today at E3 Nintendo announced the 2012 release of its next generation console , the Wii U (great job knocking the ‘an even worse name than I expected’ ball out of the park, guys). The system will boast controllers with 6.2″ high-res touchscreens (and a gyroscope, accelerometer, microphone, camera, stylus, buttons, flashlight, corkscrew, etc.), and that’s about it. Oh, and HD graphics. Hear that? Of course not, because my excited alarm isn’t going off. The Wii successor’s touchscreen controller can display anything: exactly what’s on the TV screen, the same action but with a different camera view, or something else entirely. Since the controller also employs motion sensors, you can change the viewing angle or your aim on the touchscreen by moving your hands or your whole body. You can use the touchscreen as a controller, but since the device also boasts the same full range of buttons and joysticks as a standard gamepad, you don’t have to. As Link duked it out with a giant hairy spider on the TV screen, we could see all sorts of secondary info on the controller screen: the dungeon map, Link’s health bar, the items he was carrying. These icons no longer cluttered up the TV screen and got in the way of the high-definition visuals. The cool part was this: With one tap of an icon on the touchscreen, the images flipped. Suddenly, seamlessly, the game was running on the touchscreen and the map, etc., was on the television. Wow, that sounds…questionable. Especially after rumors the console was gonna blow my socks off. “And?” I’m wearing flip-flops. No word on price, but whatever it is I’m gonna have a hard time justifying buying one just to play whatever new Zeldas they release. Which, my friend, is where you come in . You get one, then I’ll borrow it for a week whenever a new Zelda drops and pay you in not punches. Your face agrees it’s really a great deal. Hit the jump for the release trailer and demo in case you weren’t sure if you’d be able to color pictures or play Othello using the controller (SPOILER: yes to both!).

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Nintendo Officially Announces New Console

Can you say YOUR armed forces’ supercomputer was built entirely out of gaming consoles by the same company who invented the Walkman ? I think not! Enter the Air Force’s 1,760 Playstation 3 supercomputer, allegedly the 33rd largest supercomputer IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.* Yes, the Air Force’s crazy PS3 computer consists of all those gaming consoles, stripped of their Blu-ray functionality, connected to 168 seperate graphical processing units and 84 coordinating servers. It’s used “for things like research into AI, fast processing of satellite pictures and the enhancement of radar.” Nice, I assume it can still stream Netflix though, on account of the movie on the screen there. AND YOU BETTER HAVE NOT PAID FOR 1,760 SUBSCRIPTIONS EITHER, AIR FORCE. You think I won’t whip your ass in some Peggle? BRING IT, ACE! *Alien supercomputers excluded. The Air Force’s PlayStation 3 supercomputer [dvice]

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Air Force Builds 1,760 PS3 Supercomputer

There’s nothing I can’t stand more than a screaming child . If I ever have children they’re never gonna scream. Or cry. Or, God willing, know who their father is. I’m a role model! Goodbye N64 Kid, Hello Xbox 360 Kid [gizmodo]

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I Hope It’s Red Ringed Already: Kid Gets XBox For Christmas, Screaming Like A Girl Ensues

We’ve seen Nintendos stuffed into NES cartridges before, but never with with such a quality final product. My nesP is basically a noname china brand portable media player, with the advantage of being able to play nes roms, and a nes controller hacked to the controls….Well it worked perfect, it was like it was made to fit, I didn’t use any hot glue or anything other than some double sided tape to hold the battery in place. It’s a really tight fit though. It’s got 4gb built in memory, with a sd card slot in the inside so you could expand the memory if needed, and not only does it play nes games, but it also plays gameboy and gameboy color roms as well. 2.8″ TFT LCD, built-in rechargeable lithium battery, Video player, MP3 player, FM radio, Picture viewer, Audio recorder, it’s got a camera and video camera (but I disabled them to fit in the case), built in speaker, and the best part… TV-OUT !!! so you can play on the big screen! I would rock that. Of course, I would rock a lot of things. Including, but not limited to: your ass at some Powerstone 2 on Dreamcast! Bring it, chumps! Several shots of the innards and a video (extra points for being Youtube user ‘robotswillkillyou’) of the console in action after the jump.

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Backwards!: NES Cartridge Plays Games

Want an XBox 360 signed by Sarah Palin ? Me neither. But if you still want to go and blow a cool $1.1 million on one, congratulation, you’re an idiot . Also, what’s your home address? The infamous Sarah Palin XBOX 360 was autographed at the governors picnic on July 24, 2009, in Wasilla, Alaska, just two days before her resignation as governor of that state. You can own this 60GB, perfect-condition, one-of-a-kind item before her expected run for president of the United States of America in 2012. When the governors picnic took place, there were hordes of people trying to see her, but I pushed my way through the crowd to the front of the line. When I was in front of Sarah Palin, I told her that I had traveled three days to see her and asked her to sign my Xbox360. She said it was the most extravagant thing she had ever been asked to sign. I shook her hand, removed myself from the crowd, and then I packed up my Xbox360 and headed home. It was one of the greatest thrills of my life to have watched Sarah Palin on CNN, SNL, Youtube, and then to see her right in front of me. What the hell’s the matter with this guy? Reminds me of all the idiots trying to sell Wii’s for $1 million the week before Christmas. Just saying, I wouldn’t even pay that for a console signed by Princess Peach AND Zelda. I would pay that for one signed by The Geekologie Writer though. Contact me for more info. Hit the jump for a picture of Palin signing it.

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It’s On eBay: A Sarah Palin Signed XBox 360