There’s no way you actually got those three lines. This is the world’s largest NES controller , made to celebrate the Guinness World Records 2012 Gamers Edition . It allegedly took Delft University of Technology student Ben Allen five months and $6,000 to build, although I suspect the actual cost was a fraction of that and Ben laundered the majority of contributions to buy a used Fiat. The controller is 30x the size of a regular one, weighs 252-pounds, and is nothing compared to the world’s largest video game console I just made. “That’s a shipping pallet with ‘X-BORX’ spraypainted on the side.” Ha — pretty sick, right? Hit the jump for one more shot of the you will never be able to enter the Konami code in time on that thing!

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Congratulations: The World’s Largest NES Controller

Plus they can stop on a dime. According to a research article published by the University of Louisiana, this is the recently discovered New Guinea Paedophryne amauensis , the world’s new smallest vertebrate. Which — come on — show a little backbone, will ya? Haha, that was an Indiana Jones quote. You know, from the scene where he’s in the airplane and the pilot’s pet snake is between his legs. Indy hates snakes! Me? I hate everything. Averaging less than one-third of an inch (7.7 millimeters) in length, the frogs are able to fit in the center of a U.S. dime. Paedophryne amauensis steals its tiny crown from Paedocypris progenetica , an Indonesian fish that averages over eight millimeters in length. Wow, could you imagine being that small? The world would seem so giant. But to us humans, it’s tiny. I mean, we can travel around the entire planet in like, what, 80 days now? Technology! World’s Tiniest Vertebrate, Paedophryne Amauensis Frog, Discovered In New Guinea [huffingtonpost] and Ecological Guild Evolution and the Discovery of the World’s Smallest Vertebrate [plosone] (official scientific mumbo-jumbo paper) Thanks to Rev Dr Dom, who found an even smaller frog in his soup one time but didn’t tell anybody because he really likes the restaurant’s dessert and didn’t want them to get closed down.

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Teensy Weensy!: The World’s New Smallest Vertebrate

Seen here looking excited out of her mind to be holding a giant check *adds to bucket list* , 17-year old Angela Zhang won Siemen’s annual high school science competition for designing a cancer-fighting nanoparticle and NOT making a baking soda and vinegar volcano like I did. Come on, judges — did you not see the little plastic dinosaurs?! Zhang, the only female individual finalist, said her research was in part motivated by her family. Her great grandfather had liver cancer and her grandfather died of lung cancer when she was in seventh grade. “I asked, ‘Why does this happen. Why does cancer cause death? What are we doing to fix this and what can I do to help,’” said the Monta Vista High School senior. Zhang said the particle she designed improves on current cancer treatments because it delivers a drug directly to tumor cells and doesn’t affect healthy cells around it. The particle is also able to release a drug when activated by a laser. The idea is still years away from being used in patients, however. Zhang says it could take 25 years between clinical trials and other steps before her research is helping patients. You know, it’s always comforting to know there are still youngsters out there willing to take up arms and help fight the good fight. Plus, PLUS — she’s a lady . More women in science, folks, that’s the real message here. Maybe if more young girls wanted to be like Angela and not a f***ing Kardashian I wouldn’t have to spend so much time drinking in the dark talking to a handgun (I still would though because he always says some really crazy shit). Calif. teen takes $100K national science prize [washingtonexaminer] Thanks to Kendra, who agrees the government should pay me a ridiculous amount of money to promote careers in science.

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You Deserve It: 17-Year Old High Schooler Wins $100K For Designing Cancer-Fighting Nanoparticle

Voyager 1, best known for being named after the iffiest series in the Star Trek franchise (I assume), has left our solar system after traveling nearly 11-billion miles, becoming the first man-made object to do so. *standing around* Well?! One of you better be baking a f***ing cake. For the very first time, Voyager’s instruments have also begun to detect gusts of charged particles blowing in the opposite direction, back towards our sun. Where are these particles coming from? Whatever’s out there in the space between the stars. Interstellar space, they call it, and it’s what makes up most of our galaxy… Voyager 1 should have enough fuel and propellant to continue traveling outwards (and sending back data) until at least 2020, by which time it’ll be about 12.5 billion miles from us. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? “About those idiots that drank the Kool-Aid hoping to zoom off in the spaceship behind Hale-Bopp?” Haha, yeah. It would’ve been cooler if they’d shot themselves out of a cannon. Voyager 1 becomes first man-made object to taste galactic space [dvice] Thanks to Jester, who also doubles as the king’s food taster. OMG, you’ve got to try these mashed potatoes — they’re to die for. MWAHA MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

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Don’t Forget To Write: Voyager One Becomes First Man-Made Object To Leave The Solar System

Inb4 my sperm would’ve won. The world’s first cellular race was recently held in France, and I think I speak for everyone here when I say nobody cared. I mean, were they even accepting bets ? Because I’ve got an angry bookie who’s gonna make my legs bend backwards if I can’t come up with $4,000 by Friday. Obviously, I’ll be sporting a wheelchair to the office next week. How did they race the cells? Labs from all over the world heeded the call for frozen cells (the more usual the better, according to the rules) and shipped them to the Institut de Recherche en Technologies et Sciences pour le Vivant (IRTSV), where they were thawed, injected with dye and placed in specialized micro racetracks. Each 400-micron track was coated with a natural substance called fibronectin to give the cells traction to get moving. A line of bone marrow stem cells from the National University of Singapore walked — or whatever cells do — away with the honors traveling at 5.2 microns per minute. That’s 0.000204 inches per minute to you and I. Wait — bone marrow stem cells won?! I didn’t see that coming! Get it? Because it would’ve taken a microscope and I broke mine looking at pubes I found in the bathtub! Hit the jump for the Cellmont Stakes or whatever in action.

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$200 On Speedy McStemCell!: World’s First Cell Race

This is Frank & Louie (presumably after Frank & Stein), a 12-year old cat born with two faces and mouths, and three eyes. He just made it into the Guinness Book of World Records for being the longest-lived Janus cat (named after the Roman god of transitions because of the two faces and all). But worry not — there’s no need to shed a trio of tears for the kitty , apparently he’s healthy and happy despite the fact his owner takes him for walks on a leash (oh come on — he’s a cat, lady!). Regardless, I think we can all agree that not only did Frank & Louie just win his way into the record books, but our hearts things to think about to subdue an awkward boner as well. Meow! Hit the jump for a video of two faces I’m not totally convinced yet a mother could love.

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Aww, I Love Ya You Little Freak!: Frank & Louie, The 12-Year Old Two-Faced Cat

Mad scientists in Tel Aviv have successfully replaced a rat’s cerebellum with an electronic one, effectively moving the Doomsday clock ahead a minute and increasing humanity’s already significant fear of rodents. Good one, guys. *crushing computer mouse in desk drawer* Now Matti ["Frankenstein"] Mintz of Tel Aviv University in Israel and his colleagues have created a synthetic cerebellum which can receive sensory inputs from the brainstem - a region that acts as a conduit for neuronal information from the rest of the body. Their device can interpret these inputs, and send a signal to a different region of the brainstem that prompts motor neurons to execute the appropriate movement. Such implants could eventually be used to replace areas of brain tissue damaged by stroke and other conditions, or even to enhance healthy brain function and restore learning processes that decline with age. You know, that really got me thinking. Would you have your brain replaced with a cyborg one if it meant you could feel pleasure 24/7? And, if so, what kind of pleasure would you opt for? Because at first I was thinking I’d want something like ’sex in space’ or ‘just won the lottery’, but now I’m thinking something less extreme. Maybe ‘damn this is tasty-ass pie.’ Rat cyborg gets digital cerebellum [newscientist] and Picture

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Uh-Oh: Cyborg Brain Parts Implanted In Rats

Seen here creeping me the f*** out worse than the kid with an eyeball drawn on his eyepatch, Rob Spence shows off his video camera eyeball. Rob lost his eye in a shooting accident (which, while certainly serious, is still getting off lucky CONSIDERING HE WAS IN A SHOOTING ACCIDENT INVOLVING HIS FACE), and the last time we saw him had a red LED eyeball . Now he has a video camera. It is NOT a window to the soul. …it records everything he sees, sending what he’s looking at in real time to a computer. According to Rob, technology is already advanced and the possibilities are endless in the future. He said: “People are going to have the option of having superior arms, superior eyes at some point. “People say no one would ever cut off their own arm and replace it, but if the technology gets there - and it looks like it will - people will think about it. “They might be early adopters.” First of all, the camera doesn’t record everything he sees, it records everything he doesn’t see, because that’s his dud eye. Secondly, the day people start purposefully chopping off perfectly good body parts to replace with cyborg ones is the day I renounce my human citizenship. Get it? *unzipping body* I’m an alien! ZIP ZAP, BANANA NANU. Hit the jump for a video interview.

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Man Gets Eye Replaced With Video Camera

Inb4 ‘I bet it can’t even turn on a dollar’. First of all, a 25-person scooter that requires a cinderblock to hold up the middle isn’t exactly a 25-person scooter, now is it? It’s not. It’s a 25-person stool that creaks and touches the ground when everyone puts their weight down. But did that stop English plumber Colin Furze from building the 72-foot monster in his mom’s garden? No. But a normal person, yes, it probably would have. Although Furze has managed to hit 35 miles per hour on his modified moped, he’s only been able to control it with himself on it. And even so, it’s “impossible to steer” because a turn requires “about six widths of road.” Soooooooooo — basically what you ended up building was a 25-person waste of time and resources? That…sounds like something I’d do. *spends an afternoon building a much more impressive 30-PERSON scooter* “Um, GW? That looks suspiciously like 1-person scooter dragging an 80-foot tarp.” Sweet design, huh? I came up with that myself. 25-seat motorcycle shoots for ‘world’s longest’ record [dvice] via Anyone need a lift? Plumber builds the world’s longest motorbike with 25 seats [telegraph] Thanks to Jody, who built a 25-person rocketpack that may or may yes consist of a single rocket pack and 24 people holding ankles.

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The 25-Person World’s Longest Scooter

This is a Nokia viral ad for their N8 phone featuring the world’s largest stop-motion animation, which was made on a beach using a crane (that’s a real boat in the picture). It’s a follow-up to their world’s smallest stop-motion animation and NOT a follow up to the job interview I had on Monday, which probably isn’t coming (I called the dude a pecker and threatened to choke him out with a computer cord when he asked for references). ‘Gulp’ is a short film created by Sumo Science at Aardman, depicting a fisherman going about his daily catch. Shot on location at Pendine Beach in South Wales, every frame of this stop-motion animation was shot using a Nokia N8, with its 12 megapixel camera and Carl Zeiss optics. The film has broken a world record for the ‘largest stop-motion animation set’, with the largest scene stretching over 11,000 square feet. Damn, that thing has a 12-megapixel camera? What’s my iPhone have on it? “A shit-ton of pics of your balls?” Haha, you know it! Hit the jump for the video, as well as a ‘making-of’ if you’re curious.

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World’s Largest Stop Motion Animation Film