This is a conceptual iPhone design by Bryan Brunsell with the camera moved to the top so while you’re texting and walking you can see whatever you’re about to walk into. My guess is a sex shop because you’re a pervert! Plus when you’re texting and driving you’ll be able to see the sky! Oh look, the top of a telephone po– *CRASH!* Listen: if you have the common sense to stop walking while texting can you also have the decency TO NOT JUST STOP DEAD IN YOUR TRACKS? Because I will run into you. “You were distracted taking pictures of my ass, weren’t you?” Of course I was — half your asscrack was hanging out, I have a f***ing Tumblr for shit like that . An unrelated thing that really happened: Me : *yawning* Girlfriend : *sticking finger in open mouth* FUTURE PENIS! One more shot after the jump in case you’re really into squiggly lines.

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1st World Problems: iPhone Texting & Walking Concept

This is the Nokia HumanForm, a nonexistent phone that, despite the name, doesn’t look anything like a person. It’s just a concept by Nokia , presumably because they f***ed up and ordered a bunch of oblong parts from a supplier and plan on passing them off to consumers. I’m on to you, Nokia! No I’m not, that was just a guess. There’s a video after the jump highlighting all of the HumanForm’s futuristic features like gesture interaction, entirely touch-sensitive case, flex controls, electro-tactile “image feeling”, mood recognition, non-verbal communication, and more that’s pretty much it. Plus it’s shaped like a dildo. Seriously, Nokia — a dildo phone? Thanks but no thanks — I’m holding out for a buttplug one. Get it? Because I’m a dude. Hit the jump for the video.

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Nokia’s Wack-Ass Flexible Cell Phone Concept

Sure it may look like a spaceship’s cockpit , but it’s not! It’s the cockpit of Nissan’s Land Glider, a conceptual car design recently unveiled at the Tokyo Motor Show. This is the Nissan Land Glider, an electric car with two seats. it has a narrow body, which Nissan says will help reduce traffic congestion by allowing more cars in the same city space, as well as making parking easier. It has a balancing system to make it stable as it takes curves, compensating for inertia with the car’s body movement. I actually like it (hit the jump for more shots and a video). And not just because it looks skinny enough to bob and weave between a giant robot’s legs, but that’s something you have to think about when you’re in the market for a futuristic car. Also, standard weaponry and estimated RBI. Ha, what do you mean that’s a baseball stat? SHUT UP I KNOW CAR STUFF! Hit it for for more pictures and a 6:00 video.

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Not A Plane: Nissan’s Futuristic Land Glider

This is a conceptual solar powered BMW . It may look like a fish , but it’s not, it’s a car , silly! Well, not a real car, cause it’s only a concept . Like me. I ONLY EXIST YOUR INTERNET! Created by 24-yo German designer Anne Forschner, the Lovos stands fo Lifestyle of Voluntary Simplicity. Each of those scales–which are replaceable and turn constantly to align with the sun–is covered with solar cells. Now I’m no aerodynamicist, but that shit looks like it’ll slow you down. AND I CAN’T DRIVE 55, know what I’m saying? It’s against my law! The Geekologie law of awesome. Which, honestly, makes gravity look like a little bitch. Hit the jump for a bunch more shots of the craziness.

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Frightening: Conceptual Solar Powered BMW