Picture related: future clothes. Scientists have developed a method of inexpensively creating cotton fabrics that clean and deodorize themselves when exposed to sunlight . That way, the next time somebody asks when was the last time you washed your jeans you can say honestly say NEVER — I’m grody as shit and I live in squalor! Mingce Long and Deyong Wu say that their fancy cotton fibers have a coating of titanium dioxide and nitrogen, that kills microbes and breaks down dirt when exposed to sunlight. Additional nanoparticles using silver and iodine are used to accelerate the discoloration process. They even claim that the coating is robust enough to withstand repeated washing and drying, although I thought the whole point was that you wouldn’t need to do that anymore. I mean, MAYBE. It might not be a bad idea for suits or t-shirts or something but they definitely shouldn’t make underwear out of it. I don’t care how long you hang a pair of boxers outside, that turd ain’t coming out till it rains. TRUST ME (I don’t have a washer). Toss out your washer, scientists invent self-cleaning clothes [dvice] Thanks to Rev Dr Dom and Luce, who wash their clothes the old fashioned way: in the river with a stick . Um, you do know some people still have to do that, right?

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Scientists Develop Self Cleaning/Deodorizing Clothes

Crusty drawls, yo. $32 Calorie Shapers are resin-coated biker-shorts/sparkle- panties that are stiffer than regular boxer-briefs and, when walked in 1.5-hours a day per week, can burn enough additional calories to offset 16-ounces of beer . WELL WOOPTIE-F***IN’-DO-DA. I’d rather just convince myself I never drank that beer. Besides, who in their right mind wants to walk around IN A PAIR OF HARD UNDERWEAR? Aaaaaaaah, my nuts are saying silk but my belly’s saying STIFF ABRASIVE POLYMER AND ENOUGH FRICTION TO START A FIRE. “Just go commando and I’ll swing the calories away.” Smart thinking, penis. Hit the jump for the WTF commercial.

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Stiff Japanese Underwear Help Burn Calories

Remember those limited edition Marc Ecko Star Wars hoodies that came out a few years ago? Those were pretty cool (well, except the $100+ price tags). These ones? Not as much. But they are less than half the price, so you won’t get as pissed when you burn a hole in the chest shooting bottle rockets at a friend playing ‘Boba Fett, Bounty Hunter’ or whatever the f*** you weirdos do on weekends. Did I mention all three models COME WITH FULLY ZIPPABLE HOODS AND MESH EYEHOLES TO SEE OUT OF?! Because they do. Don’t believe me? Hit the jump to see just how good you’ll look wearing one like that. SPOILER: Not at all. Leia wouldn’t even give you a second glance. “But…” Butt?! Your ass is even worse — she’d probably vom! Hit the jump for the hoodies zipped up and on people.

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Cheap!: $50 Star Wars Character Hoodies

Note: Higher-res screen shot I took myself HERE . This is a really pretty blouse (Is it a blouse? I have no idea) from JC Penney that has a ‘Chewbacca Pink’ color option . If you don’t believe me you can go to JC Penney yourself HERE or just take my word before because I’m trustworthy and would never steer you wrong. Steer you off a bridge and jump out at the last possible moment sure, but not wrong. Anyway, Chewbacca pink: it’s slimming. JC Penney Product Site via Color Me Baffled of the Day [thedailywh.at] Thanks to emerica, who God blesses. Me? I just get spited.

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So Hot Right Now: ‘Chewbacca Pink’ Tops

Remember the washing machine that failed to clean a brick ? Well here it is again with a face . Not so funny now, is it? Yes, yes it is too. As a matter of fact, it’s even funnier . Unfortunately, all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put the washer back together again and have all been wearing the same stinky, skid-marked drawls for almost a month now. It’s true, Robin Hood even puked just trying to rob them. Hit it for the most worthwhile video I’ve seen in a long time.

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That Made It So Much Better: Brick-Washing Washing Machine Gets Anthropomorphized