Lazy Cakes are $3 prepackaged brownies with a bunch of natural herbs and other booboo tasting shit baked in to make you relax. If you can’t tell from Lazy Larry the mascot and drug innuendo, they’re marketing like weed brownies, except with no weed — just “natural ingredients like Velarian Root and Rose Hips while utilizing Melatonin , a substance your body makes naturally to help you relax.” But they are NOT for children, and a bunch of city governments want them banned altogether. Hoho, contraband! *mashing brownie up ass like a suppository* That’s the problem, according to Fall River Mayor William Flanagan. “These brownies are laced with melatonin,” he said at a news conference Thursday. “Melatonin is a sleep aid.” There’s about eight grams of melatonin in each of the so-called brownies. That’s reportedly four times the recommended dosage for an adult. “Even though the product says it’s not intended for children’s use, it’s psychedelic packaging and it’s cartoon character, known as Lazy Larry, indicate otherwise,” he said. Children aside, on their website the company advertises the cakes to adults hopped up on energy drinks as a way to “come down.” Because that roller coaster’s gotta be good for your body! But seriously — who the hell needs help being lazy? I could be lazy 24-7 NO F***IN’ PROBLEM. No, if you have trouble being lazy I’m afraid you’ve got a much bigger problem on your hands. Probably a coke one. Official Product Site and Fall River, New Bedford Try To Ban ‘Lazy Cakes’ [cbsboston] Thanks to SmellzLikeSheez, who should really learn the ol’ ‘use your shirt as a gas-mask’ trick.

Excerpt from:
But They’re Supposed To Make You LAZY: Lazy Cakes Causing A Stir Across America

Note: Click HERE for a full-size 7′ version of the chart in case you want to print it out and tape on a bedroom wall to make love to or whatever. A geeky father, excited about his daughter’s upcoming first birthday, decided to make her a geeky growth chart. This is her him standing by it. In case you can’t tell, it measures height in tribbles , Yoda , R2-D2 , Frodo, Princess Leia , a Dalek , Spock and Darth Vader . Me? I’m a solid Spock. With tribble balls. No — R2-D2’s. Geeky Dad — with another link to download a program that’ll split the poster into pieces you can easily print. Also, to donate a couple bucks to his daughter’s college fund for providing you with a free-of-charge growth chart. Thanks to Mary, who prefers a more metric system of measuring height.

Originally posted here:
Dad Makes Custom Sci-Fi Character Growth Chart For Daughter’s First Birthday

Picture moderately unrelated. The Healing Heroes Project is a nonprofit venture by do-gooder Josh Jenkins in which he gives terminally ill children in the hospital superhero “templates” to color and create the way they’d like, then Josh uses them to customize existing action figures into one-off’s of the children’s own designs. *wiping tear* Sorry — I think I got a shard of glass in my eye. Healing Heroes is a project dedicated to helping critically and terminally ill children. The aim of the project is to bring a little happiness into these childrens lives in a time when things might not be looking so bright for them. And what makes a kid happier than toys! More specifically the goal is to have the children design a superhero and within a week have an actual 1 of a kind custom action figure made for them from their design. It is my hope that this will in some small way help the kids through a really tough time in their lives and give them something positive to focus on while in the hospital. Josh is currently seeking action figure donations to help get the project underway (or start a massive action figure collection on the cheap), so if you’re interested in helping out be sure to go check out his website for details. Then, pat yourself on the back and pray Ol’ St. Nick wasn’t f***ing napping. I EXPECT BIG THINGS THIS YEAR, FAT MAN! The Healing Heroes Project Thanks to Taylor, who wishes all the sick children Wolverine-like recoveries. Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Read the original here:
Good Causes: The Healing Heroes Project

Note: There are two videos after the jump. The first one you can watch. The second one FEATURES REAL-LIFE MOM-NIPS AND SHOULD BE CONSIDERED NSFW unless you’re one of those women that’ll whip a tit out in a restaurant cause you don’t give a f*** if I stare or not ( I’m going to is the thing ). Breast Milk Baby is a real $99 baby doll that, when presented with a special apron you wear with flowery “nipples”, starts suckling like a baby . Then you throw it over your shoulder and burp it or whatever . I don’t know, the point is it tries to suck nips. It’s supposed to be for little girls! I want one! No — one for each teat. So three total. Hit the jump for videos, the first of which is a product demo complete with the worst sound effects ever. The second of which IS NSFW REAL MOMMY-NIPS.

Go here to see the original:
NOT ON THESE TEATS YOU’RE NOT!: Breast Milk Baby, The Breastfeeding Doll

SPOILED ROTTEN — like an egg! This is a video of a functional Angry Birds bizzle dizzle cizzle made by a father for his son’s sixth birthday . Which, I’m not gonna lie — I want that skull shirt. It’s become a family tradition that I make increasingly ridiculous birthday cakes for my kids each year. So with my little boy Ben turning 6-years-old over the weekend, and appreciating his love of Angry Birds, I thought I’d have a shot a making him a playable Angry Birds birthday cake with working catapult and iced birds as ammunition. Certainly brings new meaning to the phrase “playing with your food” amirite? ” Seriously GW — please tell me you didn’t just write that.” I, uh, totally didn’t just write that. BONY BONERS! That either. I’m also not downloading nakey pictures. Hit the jump for the build and some bird-slingin’ action.

See original here:
SPOILED!: Kid’s Playable ‘Angry Birds’ Cake

This is a fan-made commercial by 29-year-old Ben McCambridge (who spent $6K of his own money to create it) for the PS3 called ‘Kids’. It shows young children cast in the following roles to demonstrate all the fantasy-fun to be had playing video games : 1. Middle school bully beater-upper 2. Astronaut 3. Football All-star 4. Hobbit 5. Soldiers at war 5. Promiscuously dressed teen trying to sneak out of the house to meet her boyfriend while her mom and step-dad argue in the kitchen Admittedly, the commercial was very well made, I’m just not sure about the message it’s sending. WHEN YOU’RE SIX-YEARS OLD YOU DON’T NEED HYPER-REALISTIC VIDEO GAMES TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. Wanna be an astronaut? Sit in a laundry basket with tinfoil wrapped around your head. Want to play Lord of the Rings ? Get a couple friends together and hit each other with sticks in the woods. You’ve gotta use your imaginations while you’ve still got ‘em! LIFE DOESN’T GET ANY EASIER. Soon you’re gonna be older and actually NEED video games to escape from reality. Plus booze. Can’t forget about the booze. *glug glug* Oh yeah, f***in’ loving life over here. Hit the jump for the worthwhile commercial.

Original post:
Kind Of Questionable: PS3 ‘Kids’ Commercial

Why so serious, Luke? Geekologie Reader Dave made these paper snowflakes (Boba Fett & clone trooper version after the jump) with his children to use as Christmas decorations . You can make some yourself if you’d like — you don’t even need kids! But you will need scissors , so don’t run with them. Kidding — I say live a little! Hit the jump for the Boba/clone trooper flake.

Read the original:
Arts & Crafts: DIY Paper Star Wars Snowflakes

Seen here pretending to be more than two feet off the ground , 13-year old Hibiki Kono made himself a vacuum powered wall-climbing suit so he can escape the asylum and avenge his parents’ deaths. Ooooor climb a brick wall while people take pictures. Using a pair of 1,400-watt vacuums he purchased at UK retailer Tesco, Hibiki Kono hooked them up to a couple of large suction pads, and proceeded to ascend a vertical surface with the contraption strapped to his back and arms. Well damn, future Mr. Dyson — you’ve got inventor written all over you! Also, “I have sex with appliances”. Let me guess: you had too much Sunny-D and passed out with your shoes on again. Hit the jump for a video of Hibiki and his magic suit in action.

See the original post:
13-Year Old Makes Wall-Climbing Vacuum Suit

Note: Video is after the jump because I’m a firm believer in never-nudity. This is a video of a fit looking mom playing the Rock Band drums butt-ass naked in front of her children . Now I’m not saying I’m gonna befriend these kids so I can come over and join the band, but they better keep a fridge full of Sunny-D. Hit it for 17-seconds of not your mom.

See the original post:
Now That’s Just Good Parenting: Playing Rock Band Butt-Ass Naked In Front Of Your Kids

This is a little gallery of children’s drawings copied and painted realistically by Dave Devries as part of a project called Monster Engine. What’s Monster Engine? The opposite of an angel caboose, silly! Eleven years ago Dave Devries started the Monster Engine project with one single question: What would a child’s drawing look like if it were painted realistically? The process is simple. I project a child’s drawing with an opaque projector, faithfully tracing each line. Applying a combination of logic and instinct, I then paint the image as realistically as I can. My medium is mixed–primarily acrylic, airbrush, and colored pencil. Dave admittedly does a great job, but I’m still convinced most of these kids are, or will soon be, serial killers. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been known to crush a box of Count Chocula in my day, but — you see where this is going? I hate myself already. Hit the jump for a whole bunch more.

See the original post:
Future Serial Killers: Kids’ Drawings Painted Realistically