They look f***in’ delicious. These freaky-ass ‘Transylvanian Naked Neck Chickens’ (yes, really) are chickens with a genetic mutation that gives them turkey-like necks. Or did one bang a giraffe? I’m on to you, Old MacFrankenstein! The scientists said the effects of the genetic mutation were enhanced by a vitamin A-derived substance produced around the bird’s neck. This causes a protein, BMP12, to be produced, suppressing feather growth and causing the bird to have its bald neck, according to researchers at the Roslin Institute at Edinburgh University. The team said the findings could help poultry production in hot countries because chickens with naked necks were better equipped to withstand the heat. You know what other kind of chicken is better equipped to withstand the head? Nuggets. Seriously, they actually taste better if you cook them instead of just sucking on them frozen. But not by much! Experts unravel ‘churkey’ appearance mystery [bbcnews] via Meet the weird bird that’s half-chicken, half-turkey [io9] Thanks to kelly, who wants to know if they’ll still run around for awhile if you cut their heads off. THEY BETTER!

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Freaky Chicken/Turkey ‘Churkey’ Mutants

KFC (who knows good marketing ) has just started a campaign in which they pay college girls $500 to wear ‘ Double Down ‘ sweatpants and pass out sandwiches /coupons to horny/obese college students. It’s actually pretty genius if you think about it while you’re hungry and forgive them for using sweatpants instead of yoga pants. The chicken chain says it hopes to use assvertising to “tempt fellow students” into trying the fried-meat monstrosity that only a frat boy or freshman could love. “On select college campuses,” the press release says, “female undergraduates will sport KFC Double Down branded sweatpants to encourage students to try the unique bun-less sandwich.” The gig pays $500, in case that helps you swallow your pride like a pile of greasy hen flesh. The promotion kicked off this week in Louisville, Ky., and will soon hit three more campuses. OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN — NOT COOL, KFC. First all the animal cruelty, and now this? For shame . The Colonel and I are gonna have to have some words. Well, whiskey first, then words. *glug glug glug* Nice beard, Colonel. “Thanks, young man”. Alright, enough small talk . I don’t know how to tell you this, so I’m just gonna come out and say it: I like Chick-Fil-A better. Waffle fries, son, waffle fries . KFC to ‘Double Down’ on college girls’ butts [adfreak] Thanks to Nick, who is a master of disguise and managed to score over 40 free sandwiches before being recognized.

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Doubling Down On That Ass: KFC Advertising Chicken Sandwich On College Coed Rumps

No, despite what Apple may have convinced their minions, it’s never been cool. ESPECIALLY NOT FOR F***ING CHICKEN WRAPS. But did that stop KFC ? Hell finger-lickin’ no! Strapped for cash but sick and tired of the same old cheap eats? Remix your value menu routine with KFC’s new iTwists - delicious, snack-size wraps packed with KFC’s famous chicken and exciting flavor for only 99! Each iTwist features a 100% all white meat Extra Crispy strip, fresh lettuce, and a blend of 3 cheeses, all wrapped up with a signature sauce in a colorful, flavorful tortilla. Try one of our 2 new iTwists today for only 99 each! Kickin’ Jack - Sundried Tomato Tortilla and Spicy Pepperjack Sauce Sweet n’ Spicy - Cheddar Tortilla and Sweet n’ Spicy Sauce My God that sounds delicious aside, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess KFC’s marketing team is a bunch of out-of-touch iDiots. See what I did there?! Haha, you should be embarrassed for me! Official Site (iTwist currently only available in limited test markets) Thanks to Mark IV, who — what are you, number 16? I’ve never been good at letter numbers.

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Adding An i Is Still Cool?: The KFC iTwist

You know what the problem with sandwiches is? They’re too hard to transport. What they need to do is invent specially-sized bags to tote them around in. Oh they’ve got those? WHERE THE F*** HAVE I BEEN?! Anyway, if you’re too lazy to make a sandwich or worry your canned Coke will flatten it in your Alf lunchbox, there’s Candwiches. Canwiches are canned sandwiches (NOT CHEESEBURGERS ) and come in PB&Strawberry J, PB&Grape J, and Barbecued Chicken flavors. I’m gonna get one of each and mush them all together! Then vomit! In related news, a major financier is being sued for fraud after collecting moneys to invest in commercial real-estate loans, only to turn around and invest in Canwiches instead. Can you blame him? These things are gonna explode on the market! Possibly from botulism. In all, Travis L. Wright raised $145 million from 175 investors between 2001 and 2009, according to the suit. He only invested $6 million in the kinds of things he said he would be investing in, the SEC says. Wright also spent $15 million of investors’ money for his own expenses, according to the lawsuit. Among other things, he bought a house formerly owned by an unnamed pro basketball player. And he paved his driveway using cobblestones imported from France. Oh man, wait till those investors get their hands on him. They’re gonna open a Candwich of whoop-ass on that bastard. Possibly even a six-pack. You hear me, Travis? You gonna be eating Candwiches through a straw! Product Site and Sandwich-In-A-Can Financier Sued For Fraud [npr] Thanks to Mike, who’s trying to convince me to invest in his canned mashed potato business. Hmmm, I dunno.

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OM NOM NOM!: Candwich Canned Sanwiches

We first reported on Kentucky Fried Cruelty’s Double Down sandwich back in August of last year, and I thought it was real then. But apparently not, apparently it’s only getting real on Monday. And for those of you that didn’t know, it’s bacon between two fried chicken “buns,” with special sauce (arguably spunk) and pepperjack cheese . Mmmm, I’m dryheaving already! The sandwich will be available in two forms. The Original Recipe sandwich will set you back about 540 calories, 32g of fat and 1380mg of sodium. The not-as-bad-for-you Grilled Double Down totals 460 calories, 23g of fat and 1430mg of sodium. Well, it doesn’t sound like the worst thing you could eat. But it is up there. Right next to poison and a really jealous bear’s girlfriend out. Which — okay I just puked. KFC’s Bacon Sandwich On Fried Chicken “Bread” Starts Killing People Nationwide April 12 [consumerist] and Official Site Thanks to Lord Tarl, Johnny Freightliner, Allegro, Comfort Eagle, Kenneth, Barak, Josh, Mothera and Broken AC, who are all fighting to be first in line tomorrow. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.

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KFC Double Down Sandwich Drops Monday

Okay, so here’s the gameplan: you run to the bank for singles while I stuff my pants with chicken . One two three, BREAK! Geekologie’s Facebook Page Thanks to Jonathan and Julien, who don’t send tips as much as post them on Geekologie’s Facebook page. Hey I know, that tip form can be tricky.

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So Hot: The Sexiest Thing I’ve Seen All Day

A guy named Gomhi (who may or may not own chickens) went and made himself some speakers out of a pair of eggshells and Hi-Vi B1S drivers . As you can see, they probably remind you of boobs. Because you’re a serious pervert (no amateurs here!). Blah blah blah [insert joke about being careful not to fry your speakers here]. Blogging: I am good at it. Amazing DIY speakers made of eggshells [dvice] Thanks to Octopus Pie, anon and Shelly, who prefer their speakers with a side of bacon.

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Those Look Fragile: Eggshell Speakers

In an experiment that helps prove some birds are smarter than they’d look in the bottom of a KFC bucket, a British rook was able to make a tool ( hook ) in order to accomplish a task (score worms ). Allegedly, this puts them on par with monkeys and toddlers. But I haven’t seen any toddlers making tools. Just stools . Yeah, in their pants . Birds: 1, toddlers: 0. They were presented with a small bucket of wriggling worms out of reach at the end of a tube, and next to it a piece of straight wire. Remarkably, despite never having seen the set-up before, they immediately got to work bending the wire so they could hook out the bucket and tuck in. Unlike most animals which learn tricks through trial and error, they solved the problem immediately and, since they were raised in captivity, had no other birds to show them how to do it. Just what I’ve been waiting for. Now I’m going to use a flock of rooks to finally rob the local bank. God knows the squirrels couldn’t do it. Could you, you stupid tree rats? I swear, one of you spots a nut and you act like it’s the first time you showered with daddy. Hit the jump for a couple more action shots and a video.

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Hmm: Birds As Smart As Monkeys, Toddlers