Note: Uncensored pictures after the jump cannot be unseen. I wasn’t going to post this because 1. I eat a lot of sushi and 2. it’s f***ing disgusting and is gonna give me nightmares FO SHO, but I’m getting the tip so much I figured I might as well. Standards: mine are incredibly low. So yeah, a shark with a single eye in the middle of its head. What’s your take, Indy? “It belongs in a freakshow museum!” According to the Pisces Fleet Sportsfishing blog, this one-eyed bull shark fetus was removed from a mother caught in Mexico’s Sea of Cortez. Apparently shark researcher Felipe Galvan Magaa is now examining this monocular specimen. I’m not sure what shark researcher Felipe Galvan Magana is going to find out, but my guess is that the X-Men’s Cyclops has a mermaid fetish and recently chartered a boat. Hit the jump for two uncensored shots that shouldn’t be viewed before, during or after eating.

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Cyclops Shark With Eye In Middle Of Face

Note: Jump probably NSFW on account of cartoon fantasies coming to life. Anime characters: they’re smokin’ hot, amirite? WRONG!! THEY’RE ALL LIKE 12 YOU F***ING SICKOS. “Hello, police? Yeah I’ve got a whole website of perverts here that need your attention. Oh — and bring extra tasers .” *quick, GW, distract them while the cops get here!* Anyway, the anime-themed show took place at Bordello Bar here in LA (per usual) and the characters and shows they’re from are, in this order: Sailor Moon from Sailor Moon, Pikachu from Pokemon, Ichigo Momomiya from Tokyo Mew Mew, Lust from Fullmetal Alchemist, Trixie from Speed Racer and Rei Ayanami from Neon Genesis Evangelion. I posted a couple shots of each after the jump, but you’ll have to head over to LA Weekly to see them all. *WEE-WOO! WEE-WOO! WEE-WOO! WEE-WEE!* HAHA — ENJOY THE CLINK, PERVERTS!

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Cartoon Cosplay: An Anime Burlesque Show

When I think sexy I think one of two things — 1. dinosaurs or 2. spray cheese. If I’m feeling really krinky I’ll try thinking both at the same time but more often than not it leads to A) hyperventilating B) passing out and C) wet dreams . This is a Simpsons pr0n parody that at least had the decency (HA! — decency! IT’S A SIMPSONS PRON !!!!!11) to only include adult characters. It’s supposed to be a Homer and Marge sex tape, but also features Ned, Moe, Cookie Kwan, Senator Mendoza and McBain (NO APU ?!), which the thought of alone is enough to make my penis cry meteor-sized kidney stones for the rest of its life (he’s sensitive). But who knows, maybe you’re into this sort of thing. I wouldn’t admit it to anyone if you are, but maybe you are. And that, my (ex)friend, makes you a freak. And not the perpetually downtrodden and angsty kind that work carnival side-shows, but — yes, actually that kind exactly. NOW GET BACK IN THAT TENT AND SHOW EVERYBODY THE NIPPLES ON YOUR BACK! Hit the jump for a probably not that suitable for work video (moaning, PREVIEW OF A SIMPSONS PR0N PARODY) and a link to Fleshbot that has a bunch of SUPER NNNNNNNNNSFW pictures (only click if you want to be remembered as the guy who got fired for looking at hardcore Simpsons pr0n at work). You’ve been warned, now click away.

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Consequences Will Never Be The Same: Simpsons Pr0n Parody Hits The Interwebs

Note: Jump probably NSFW due to fake alien-vaj. To coincide with the release of Hustler’s Avatar pr0n parody , Fleshlight is making an “alien” version of their famous male sex-toy . “Honey — I think the blue flashlight in the tool chest next to your Neytiri poster is out of batteries”. Go where no manhood has gone before past the strangely alluring double clitoris of the Alien vagina. This mesmerizing pearlescent blue Alien begs to beam you up for a close encounter of the preferred kind. The exclusive Alien texture combines the feel of three of our most popular textures to create one out-of-this-world experience. Tantalizing sinews swirl together mimicking our famous Vortex canal before breaking through to a Lotus node that finally gives way to our most intense texture, the STU. I’m not gonna lie, I felt dirty just reading that. You can buy the sadness alone for $75, or get it and the movie and — AND — two pairs of crappy 3-D glasses for $90. Which leads me to my next question: why two pairs? Hit the jump for two more NSFW shots and a link to the product page.

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It Was Only A Matter Of Time: Na’vi Fleshlight

Note: Jump is very NSFW and very NOT UNSEEABLE . Textbook definition of cannot be unseen . You have been warned. “Honey, look — it’s Homer !” “Oh my God that’s amazing! The only thing that could possibly make it any better is if it wasn’t my wife doing it. I think we should see other people.” Hit the jump for the very NSFW version ( SPOILER : boobie eyes!).

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Homer’s Completely NSFW Doppelganger