This is a cake of Spider Man’s bust made by Cake Central member Arielatl (who may or may not be a mermaid in Atlanta). As you can see, she’s pretty good at making lines with icing . Me? I’m terrible at it. One time I was supposed to spell ‘Happy Birthday Jason” on a cake and it ended up reading “Choke and die, dickhead” To my credit though, it was a cheap icing bag. For those who would like to know I started with a dummy head, and used fondant to build it out to look like his face, then covered it with fondant, cut the eyes out of fondant, covered it in webbing, and let it dry for a few days. Then, I filled and stacked two 10? cakes for the middle, and split an 8? cake into quarters for the shoulders. Then, I carved the sharp edges and the slope and indent for the chest. Next, I crumb-coated the whole bottom, and covered in fondant. I cut a shallow circle the size of the head base in the top of the cake, and set it in with 2 dowels. I then finished the rest of the webbing on the body, and cut the spider out of fondant. I hope this helps! Whoa whoa whoa — a dummy head? That’s a choking hazard! So it’s basically just a shoulder cake with an iced mannequin head on top. That’s…okay I would still eat that. BUT ONLY BECAUSE I’M FAT. Hit the jump for one more shot.

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Fork Me, I’m Hungry: Spider Man Bust Cake

This is a 6′4″, 300-pound (just like me!) Stormtrooper cake made by Amanda Oakleaf Cakes for the Arisia Sci-Fi Convention in Boston. He provided over 600 servings, significantly more than an Ewok cake would have. Plus less hair. Nobody likes eating hair . Except my cat . God, you know you’re just gonna hock that up in the middle of the night and make me scream at you! Just kidding, I don’t actually scream at my pets. I just fake cry into a pillow and mutter things like, “God, just let me die in my sleep!” to make them feel extra bad. Hit the jump for shots from the beginning of the build to the skeletal end.

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300-Pound Lifesize Standing Stormtrooper Cake

This is a Game of Thrones cake made by Kensei Yonzon and Nicole Villar Balaoing. It’s a throne made out of swords made out fondant. You ever tried swallowing a sword before? It’s harder than it looks. Plus you have to be real careful not to drop it because one time at the circus I saw a guy let go when it was only halfway down his gullet and the sharp end came out his butthole. I’ve been trying to drink the memory away but the elephants — they’ll have to live with that for life. Kensei’s Facebook via Let’s Eat This Game of Thrones Cake [obviouswinner] Thanks to khz, who’s never swallowed but has sat on a parking cone naked.

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Sword Swallowing: A Game Of Thrones Cake

I’mma eat your face, Chief! In other busty news (a wise boob man once told me, “you can never get enough bust”), this is a giant Master Chief cake created by Mike’s Amazing Cakes . How the hell they managed to make such a gravity-defying cake is beyond me, but I suspect it involves being chockful of inedible wooden dowels and chicken wire. “Don’t even say that — Master Chief is ALL MAN.” Haha — somebody’s got a crush! It’s me, I’m in love with a duck at the pond. I bring him the crust from my sandwiches and in return he quacks and follows me around. It’s kind of a Romeo and Juliet thing but even sweeter because he waddles. Hit the jump for a whole bunch more including a shot of one convention-goer about to be put out of his misery.

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Halo’s Master Chief Gets The Cake Treatment

This is a small series of physics (NOT chemistry ) themed cupcakes created by a young baker to celebrate their last day of high school physics class . Me? I skipped school and went to the bong store, then drank Mad Dog 20/20’s in a public park with a couple of my bros from show choir. So yeah, physics themed cupcakes — there’s only one thing better: an entire physics themed CAKE cake. Get it? Because it’s so much bigger . And bigger always = better when you’re as fat as I am. Hit the jump for a closeup of the black-hole one. “I’m going to eat you now, planets!” “Oh no, please don’t eat us!” “TOO BAD, GOBBLE GOBBLE!”

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Baking Equations: Physics-Themed Cupcakes

SPOILED ROTTEN — like an egg! This is a video of a functional Angry Birds bizzle dizzle cizzle made by a father for his son’s sixth birthday . Which, I’m not gonna lie — I want that skull shirt. It’s become a family tradition that I make increasingly ridiculous birthday cakes for my kids each year. So with my little boy Ben turning 6-years-old over the weekend, and appreciating his love of Angry Birds, I thought I’d have a shot a making him a playable Angry Birds birthday cake with working catapult and iced birds as ammunition. Certainly brings new meaning to the phrase “playing with your food” amirite? ” Seriously GW — please tell me you didn’t just write that.” I, uh, totally didn’t just write that. BONY BONERS! That either. I’m also not downloading nakey pictures. Hit the jump for the build and some bird-slingin’ action.

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SPOILED!: Kid’s Playable ‘Angry Birds’ Cake

What’s the RDA for glitter? This is a picture of a cake that has all the elements of the most beautiful daydream ( unicorns , rainbows , lollipops ) and most terrifying nightmare ( zombies , piranha plants , robots) at the same time. I call it the WTF Cake, although you can call it delicious. Shit, you can even call its mother a whore, although that’d be rude because you don’t even know her. SHE’S A NICE LADY! (But will start randomly grabbing balls if you get a drink in her) Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups, along with a shot of the makers (and bonus nipple cupcakes!), at least one of which (and possibly both) you’ll leave comments about wanting to bang. God, do I know you guys or what? I do, and I’m even more embarrassed than your parents.

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Like Heaven & Hell Exploded Simultaneously

You see what they did there? I do. They made the candles look like Charmander’s breathing fire. Eagle eyes: I have them. Also, a Tasmanian devil dong . WAABWUBLABLAB!! Whoa, easy there partner. You could probably use the same technique for a dragon cake although I don’t know that for a fact so don’t hold it against me if yours ends up looking like a kitchen fire. What you can hold against me is this ceremonial dagger while I chant spells. BUT NO STABBING UNTIL THE END THIS TIME. Charmander Cake [myfoodlooksfunny] Thanks to Romeo, who made an ice-Pokemon cake but chucked it because it tasted like freezer burn.

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Gotta Catch ‘Em All! (On Fire): Pokemon Cake

Can’t decide which superhero you want on your cake ? No problem — just slap a bunch on there! Just don’t slap Hulk’s ass, because he can and will get angry ON YOUR FACE. Robin? Not so much. “Holy tweaked nips, Batman — you could cut glass with those things!” “I know, Robin, just a little something Catwoman taught me from her jewelry-heist days.” …. “Hey Batman?” “Yes Robin?” “Wanna shower together?” “To the bat-throom!” Action Figures Cake [buzzfeed] Thanks to RaptorJesus, hands down the sexiest religious figure for 75-million years and counting.

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Decisions, Decisions: Superhero(es) Cake

Apparently t-shirt purveyor Threadless is holding a contest where you bake cakes based on their shirts’ graphics and win prizes. This is a skull cake based on the shirt graphic you see in the lower left corner, ‘Bitter Teeth’. I don’t know about you, but I don’t care if it was buried with jewelry or not, I’d dig it up and eat it. And that’s saying a lot (about how good it looks, not my willingness to dig up corpses). First up, making the skull-face: I got an anatomical model of a human skull and a whole load of food grade silicone. After putty-ing up the fiddly details and finding suitable containers for the skull and jaw I poured the silicone around them and left it for 48 hours to set. After de-molding the originals I trimmed the molds down to make them more flexible. I cast the jaw and face out of milk chocolate and used dental tools to carve some of the detail back in. Next the cakey cranium: I made chocolate sponge (pictured looking like a magnificent pair of um… mounds) and sandwiched them with yet more milk chocolate, I trimmed them down to the right size and shape and covered the lot in yet more milk chocolate for structural integrity. finally, I poured over chocolate ganche and painted the teeth with high % dark chocolate. Oh man, imagine how much better the movie wold have been if the latest Indy flick had been ‘Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Chocolate Skull’. At LEAST 2x. Plus they could have earned some extra dough with candy product placement. HAS E.T. TAUGHT US NOTHING?! Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the skull, and a link to the contest page.

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I’d Dig It Up And Eat It: A Chocolate Skull