This is a video of a humanoid robot in the window of a Japanese department store designed to interact with customers and attract more business. Oooooooor get fondled by perverts. Japanese department store Takashimiya installed an eerily lifelike interactive robot for its Valentine’s window display. The retailer called on robotics guru Hiroshi Ishiguro to provide the humanoid dummy, which can not only wink and yawn as people approach, but also display a range of emotions…While this was just part of the store’s seasonal promotion, it might be a hint at where visual merchandise is going. Oh, it’s a hint at where visual merchandising is going alright. STRAIGHT DOWN THE SHITTER. Oh man, I remember going to the mall when I was a kid and some of the stores would have real-life people posing as mannequins in their windows and my brother and I would try to get them to laugh. I think I may have even showed them my penis once. Which, in hindsight, was probably illegal. For them . I was seven! Hit the jump for I will hide in the bedding section until you close the store for the night and then BURN IT TO THE GROUND.

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I Smell A Boycott (Or Is It A Giant Pretzel?): Customer Attracting Humanoid Store Display In Japanese Mall

This is a video of a reporter having a conversation with a humanoid robot, who eventually (~2:30) divulges his plans to build a people zoo . And only for the “friends” that he likes, the rest he’ll just kill. Does that mean you’ll have to befriend a robot to survive the uprising? I’m afraid so. “But I thought you had a plan!” Well I lied. Besides, zoo life isn’t so bad — just go ask the monkeys. Well? “They threw shit at me.” Haha, we’re gonna do that too! The key is catching it right as it comes out so the robots won’t know we’re packin’. Hit the jump for the I’d rather test-fly jetpack prototypes designed by middle-schoolers.

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Oh Goody: Humanoid Robot Planning A People Zoo

This is a video of the Abstract Expressionist Robot. He paints pictures of how he feels based on input from a nearby microphone . *playing death metal* God, just stop painting and end it already! You know you want to. artist Benjamin Grosser offers up a mash-up…which uses AI to listen to its environment and process that information to influence what it paints. Overall a much nicer, more cultured use of artificial intelligence than, say, a swarm of flying death robots. …Grosser admits that “Lately I’ve taken to critiquing the machine as it paints, giving it audio input that is a direct response to what it just did. I’ll tell it what I think of each gesture it paints: if I liked it or didn’t, if I think it should have done something different, or how I see the latest mark fitting into the overall composition of the work. I’ve found that I tend to dislike these paintings more than others it makes, suggesting that listening to a constant critique of one’s creative process may not be productive.” Derder, Benjamin — NOBODY LIKES A CONSTANT CRITIQUE OF THEIR CREATIVE PROCESS. That would drive me insane. “Look — GW just took his pants off, he really should’ve kept them on. Now he’s eating cottage cheese and talking to the dog, cottage cheese is nasty. Now he’s banging his head on his desk and repeating ‘what word rhymes with penis?’ — that can’t be good for his brain cells.” See? I’d stab you before I even had an article written. Also, Ben, your last name is Grosser — that would make your children the Grossests! “That’s not how names work.” Oh. Hit the jump for a bunch of the robot’s paintings and a video of it in action.

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Feel Pain!: Robotic Artist Paints Its Feelings

Note: Picture unrelated but creepy as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Because there is a such thing as evil mad scientists , a group of researchers at the California Institute of Technology claim they’ve created “an artificial neural network out of DNA molecules and that it can answer questions correctly.” Hey, hey artificial neural network — answer this one for me: how do you feel about hydrochloric acid ? “Burning.” DAMN STRAIGHT! *emptying bottle into test-tube* This rudimentary neural network works on a simple input-output mechanism called a strand-displacement cascade. Essentially, synthesized strands of DNA float around in water and join to other strands that have complementary base pair structures, creating an input. When such a union occurs, a strand of DNA will be shed, creating an output. In the latest research, the team trained the neural network to play a memory game in which it would correctly “identify” four scientists based on specific yes or no questions–for instance whether the scientist was British. Players dropped DNA strands representing an incomplete set of answers into a test tube. The network then provides the answer–the identity of the correct scientist–by fluorescent signals. When presented with 27 different ways of answering the questions, the DNA “brain” responded correctly each time. What in the…? I don’t even know. Granted you could fill a short book with all the things I don’t know, but nobody would read it because it would be all the boring shit nobody cares about anyway. I AM AN EXPERT ON EVERYTHING THAT MATTERS. Researchers build DNA neural network that thinks [cnet] Thanks to LupusYonderboy, Amy and turtlebone, who don’t let anything but Magic 8-Balls do their thinking for them. Smart.

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NOW WHY YOU DO THAT?: Scientists Create ‘Living’ Artificial Intelligence From Human DNA

Not to date like, “damn, I wanna take that stud out to dinner and play with his wiener afterward”, to date like, “up to this point in time”. Introducing Geminoid DX, the latest doppelganger of death from Kokoro Co. Ltd and this creepy mamma-jamma . When we wrote Prof. Scharfe [the man whom the robot was modeled after] inquiring about the android, he confirmed: “No, it is not a hoax,” adding that they’ve been working on the project for about a year now. His Geminoid was built by Kokoro in Tokyo and is now at Japan’s Advanced Telecommunications Research Institute International (ATR) in Nara for setup and testing. “In a couple of weeks I will go back at Japan to participate in the experiments,” he says. “After that, the robot is shipped to Denmark to inhabit a newly designed lab.” I posted several videos after the jump showing the ultra-realistic facial expressions and mannerisms the robot is capable of, none of which made me feel very warm and fuzzy inside. Cold and razor-wiry, yes. Is it wrong to feel so much hate for something that isn’t even human? I say no. As a matter of fact, I f***ed my toaster up with a stool this morning for burning a bagel. Admit it — YOU KNEW IT WAS THE LAST ONE! A comparison shot of the live and humanoid versions, a couple shots of the robot without his face-skin on (in case you hate sleeping) and four short videos of the creep in action after the jump.

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Die Creep!: Most Realistic Humanoid To Date

Terminators are some of the scariest kind of robots. They shape shift , can look like humans , and are hard as hell to kill. That’s way no bueno. Plus there’s a bunch of them. Can you imagine if the future had regularly sent back more than one? We’d be long gone! You’d be beating one in the face with a shovel when another one sneaks up from behind and HELLO! — you’re getting violated. Thanks but no thanks, T, that’s for my lover and family physician only! Anyway, this is a LEGO Terminator bust (different from this one ) designed and built by Martin Latta . From a LEGO-building standpoint, it’s amazing. From an oh God please don’t kill me standpoint I just soiled myself and punched through my computer monitor. Thank goodness I’ve memorized how to use my computer without looking! Open > iTunes > Play ‘Jurassic Park soundtrack’. http://www.google.com “dinosaur erotica”. Wait — am I back in the right window? Hit the jump for several more shots, including some with his eyes lit up. Yipes!

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DO NOT LIKE: Terminator-800 LEGO Bust

Note: Video of the chart-bottoming performance after the jump. Can you tell which one is the robot ? SPOILER : back left. Just kidding, it’s the one with the silver legs , moron. Or is it? I thought they all were to be honest. If you’re just joining us, you may not have heard of Yamaha’s HRP-4C (older posts HERE , HERE and HERE ). Well here she is again, this time working it on stage Britney Spears style provided Britney is a no-talent hack who can’t do anything but waddle around on stage waving her arms, which is by far the most accurate comparison I’ve ever made. Now, does anybody else think there might actually be a person in that robot costume? Let’s set it on fire and find out. Hit the jump for the Japanese Pussycat Dolls.

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GAH, BURN IT!: Japanese Singing/Dancing Robot (Now With More Back-Up Dancers!)

First of all, the only Facebook group you really need to join is Geekologie’s (and NOT The Superficial’s ). But if you’re into joining every group possible you can join this guy’s , whose girlfriend has agreed to let him pirate -theme their house if he gets 1,000,000 fans. I’ve always wanted to be a pirate, and the onlyway I can truely do this is to live aboard a pirate ship, as I am tied into a house and a mortgage with this house, and I dont live anywhere near the sea, the only thing I can do is to turn my house into a massive pirate ship. I already have enough money to buy some wooden slats from B&Q, I just need to get my girlfriend to agree to remortgage the house so that I can afford decking, and masts, and eventually sails. If 1 million people joined this group it would help her understand that this isnt such a bad idea, and lots of people would do it as well, and it would help my dream come true. If you can leave a piratty message on the wall, it would also help. I was going to join but then I saw dude already has 988,756 fans, so he’s practically there. And by ‘there’ I mean on my shit-list. NOBODY OUT PIRATE-HOUSES ME! Facebook Group Thanks to Nikki, Dan, AJ and Lemrin, who all live in ninja-houses and have vowed to burn dude’s pirate house to the ground to prove their stealthy supremacy.

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Guy Needs 1M Facebook Fans And Girlfriend Will Let Him Turn House Into A Pirate Ship