This is a small series of superheroine public service announcements reminding you ladies to regularly check your breasts for breast cancer. And I couldn’t agree more. Boobs are one of nature’s most precious gifts, and it brings a tear to my eye even thinking about losing a single tit to cancer. You gotta check those mammaries, ladies. *waiting* I meant now — DO IT NOW! *air-motorboating* Hit the jump for three others but follow the link for full-res versions.

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Protect Your Breasts: Superhero Breast Check PSAs

Note: WTF video after the jump. Seen here pounding out a drum solo on some lady’s bongos chest (please, a little maturity), Khunying Tobnom practices the (not so) ancient art of breast enlargement by slapping. What the — is anybody really buying this?! I heard the secret was getting motorboated by a slovenly blogger. Khunying has been performing this non-surgical technique for more than 20 years, and her claim is that the slapping shifts body fat from one area to another and the kneading works excess fat towards the breasts. [But what if you knead too much into one and not enough into the other?!] In 2003, breast slapping was officially approved as a natural alternative to plastic surgery. At least for now, this one beautician is the only person in the world who knows the secrets of breast, face and buttock slapping, which she inherited from her grandmother. One day when she a teenager, her grandmother saw her applying some miracle cream to her breasts in hopes that they would grow. She told her to stop wasting her time and money and rub them till it hurt. [WTF?!] She allowed her grandmother to slap her breasts a few times and douse them with ice-water, which resulted in a growth by 4 inches. Eventually, she mastered the techniques on her own. Not gonna lie, one time I got punched in the forehead and it swelled up too. I know, weird how that works. But then it turned purple-greenish-brown. Not how I like my taytays. Wait, let me rephrase that — not how I like women’s taytays. Mine? I’m kinky as f***, I’ve even tie-dyed these puppies before. Hit the jump for a video of Khunying in action and, inevitably, a bunch of dudes in the comments offering their services for free.

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Super Iffy Thai Breast-Slapping Enlargement

Note: There are two videos after the jump. The first one you can watch. The second one FEATURES REAL-LIFE MOM-NIPS AND SHOULD BE CONSIDERED NSFW unless you’re one of those women that’ll whip a tit out in a restaurant cause you don’t give a f*** if I stare or not ( I’m going to is the thing ). Breast Milk Baby is a real $99 baby doll that, when presented with a special apron you wear with flowery “nipples”, starts suckling like a baby . Then you throw it over your shoulder and burp it or whatever . I don’t know, the point is it tries to suck nips. It’s supposed to be for little girls! I want one! No — one for each teat. So three total. Hit the jump for videos, the first of which is a product demo complete with the worst sound effects ever. The second of which IS NSFW REAL MOMMY-NIPS.

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NOT ON THESE TEATS YOU’RE NOT!: Breast Milk Baby, The Breastfeeding Doll

For those of you who haven’t heard because you live under rocks or in the middle of haystacks, Adobe dropped a new version of Photoshop earlier this week. And one of the big features it’s hocking is a new “content-aware” filter that lets you select and delete objects out of a picture, and the program will use the information surrounding the object to effectively fill in the missing data (video demo after the jump). Unfortunately, it didn’t work to remove Olivia Munn’s top. Well, technically it DID, but only if you’re into boobs that look like fleshy pancake batter. Which I’m not (funnel cake titties FTW). Hit the jump for an Adobe employee demonstrating the content aware filter on the world’s most boring picture.

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Curses!: Photoshop’s New Content Aware Filter Is Good, Unfortunately Not That Good