Combining two of my favorite things in the whole entire universe (which, contrary to popular belief, I’m the master of), this is a Legend of Zelda beer pong table constructed from 128 printed screenshots of the overworld from the original game. Would I play on it? Yes. Would I chop the thing in half with a Master Sword replica if I lost? Also yes. Plus chase the winners out into the street and make them dive into traffic from between parked cars. What? I’m a sore loser! Paper-rock-scissors to see who goes first? Hit the jump for one more shot from the other side and a video.

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Legend Of Zelda Overworld Map Beer Pong Table

Your mannequin: he needs an ass and a belt. This is a backpack with two integrated 4-quart beverage containers and really long straws. The mannequin in the picture? He filled his with tea. I’m gonna fill mine with milk and cookies . No, no I’m not. I’m gonna fill one side with bourbon and the other WITH BLOOD. It’s the secret to my power. “What power?” The power of intimidation. You know how many people will still wanna fight after watching a man drink blood? Only the ones you should run away from. Amazon Product Site via Dual Drink Backpack [thisiswhyimbroke] Thanks to Tigi Turnbot, who just tied a piece of rope to the handles of two milk jugs and slung them over his shoulders. Thrifty, I like it.

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Oh Yeah, Real Incognito: The Dual Booze Backpack

Bender Bound cuts flask-sized cavities into thick, sober (ahem) books in a variety of categories, suitable for hiding in plain sight on a professional looking bookshelf: medical books, law books, cook books, parenting books, even pilot manuals (!). Flask included. Bender Bound ( via Lowering the Bar )

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Professional books with booze flasks hidden in them

‘The Football’ is the nickname given to the briefcase containing the protocol and authorization codes for launching a nuclear offensive that’s always carried by one of the president’s nearby aides (Wikipedia article HERE ). Except for this one. This one’s filled with a party . Or, truthfully, more of a pre-party (those are only 375ml bottles!). The contents: 1 pair of handcuffs with 2 keys Engraved plaque, personalized with 2 lines of text 375 ml Patron Tequila 375 ml Grey Goose Vodka 10 Advil tablets 24 Tums Extra Strength chewable tablets (4) 2 oz Red Bull energy shots .37 oz tin of Altoids 0.5 oz of Bausch & Lomb eye drops 1 wine bottle opener 1 deck of cards 5 dice 350 ml Martini shaker 4 shot glasses Unfortunately, the damn thing costs $500. Now I didn’t do the math (I took a shot instead), but I imagine I could put a similar party-pack together for under $100, which is STILL too much. *tink tink tink* You hear that? JanSport full of warm beer cans, baby! Product Site via The Football [thrillist] Thanks to Jody, who knows you don’t need a bunch of overpriced garbo to party hard, just a willingness to regret tonight tomorrow. Join the Geekologie party on Faceybooks and Tweeter

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Getting Bombed: ‘The Football’ Party Briefcase

I love these “polar ice” molds from the Japanese site Monos; they resemble penguins and polar bears perched on icebergs, and are balanced so they stay upright in your drink. ( via Super Punch )

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Ice-cube molds shaped like penguins and polar bears standing on ice-bergs

ThinkGeek’s got a set of funny Portal 2 warning-sign coasters, which may serve as a minatory presence in your home for careless visitors who leave rings on the furniture. ( via Red Ferret )

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Portal 2 warning sign coasters

If you love Japanese ice-spheres in your booze, but don’t want to spring for a pricey bespoke machine to accomplish the trick, you can always pick up one of Muji’s silicone ice-ball molds, a steal at ?7.50.

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Silicone ice-sphere mold

This is a homemade bartending machine that creates cocktails simply by typing . Every letter corresponds to a different flavor , and, by typing a word, you create a drink that, most likely, will taste like shit. But who cares — it’s f***ing booze! *pounding keyboard* SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALCOHOLPOISONINGHEREICOME! Haha — my cup runneth over! *slurping off table* Hit the jump for a time-lapse of the build and a video of the machine mixing in action. It even displays the letter you just pushed as the booze makes its way into your drink! (See ‘W’, above)

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Magic Machine Creates Cocktails From Typing

This is a homemade bartending machine that creates cocktails simply by typing . Every letter corresponds to a different flavor , and, by typing a word, you create a drink that, most likely, will taste like shit. But who cares — it’s f***ing booze! *pounding keyboard* SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALCOHOLPOISONINGHEREICOME! Haha — my cup runneth over! *slurping off table* Hit the jump for a time-lapse of the build and a video of the machine mixing in action. It even displays the letter you just pushed as the booze makes its way into your drink! (See ‘W’, above)

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Magic Machine Creates Cocktails From Typing

This is a jacket prototype by designer Matt Leggett (not to be confused with Mark Armmett), that has an integrated breathalyzer sewn into the sleeve . Just not a very practical one. *straightening bowtie* Or classy. Designed with an Arduino, an alcohol sensor and a simple LED display, the breathalyzer coat aims as a deterrent to drunk driving. Curious if your blood alcohol level is over the limit? Just blow into the alcohol sensor located in the collar of your coat and watch the LEDs light up on your sleeve, indicating your drunkenness level. I assume the jacket displays blood alcohol content in 0.02 increments, up to 0.08 (the typical legal limit), but I’m not really sure. An even better way of knowing if you’re too drunk to drive? CATCHING YOURSELF BLOWING INTO THE COLLAR OF YOUR JACKET. No — even owning a breathalyzer jacket. If you own a breathalyzer jacket you’re f***ing trashed. Hit the jump for a larger shot of the God, let me just call you a cab (you already lost your phone).

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Questionable: Jacket With Built-In Breathalyzer